Look What You've Done
by Saiph Nebula
Summary: Meryl/Snake post-MGS1. Just what happened between those two before Snake joined Philanthropy? And why would he leave Meryl without an explanation just when he was ready to start a new life?
1. Nightmares

Chapter One

Nightmares

Meryl tossed and turned on the bed, kicking the thick fur skins off of her exposed legs despite the biting cold in the room. Rolling onto her back, she exhaled noisily through her nose and placed her hands beneath the pillows under her head. She had no idea what the time was, but it was still dark outside, so she guessed it wasn't far past midnight. Staring up at the wooden beams crossing the ceiling of the cabin she'd called home for the past month, she listened hard to the noises around her; trying to single out signs of one particular other presence in the cabin.

It was not uncommon for her to lay in bed at night and listen to the sounds Snake made as he wandered his Alaskan home while she slept – or at least _tried_ to. Snake never seemed to sleep - not once had Meryl ever peeked into his own room in the early hours of the morning and found him unconscious in his bed. Once, she'd snuck down the stairs at four A.M after finding his room empty, bed still made, and thought she'd found him sleeping on the couch. She hadn't taken more then three steps into the room when Snake's eyes opened slowly, wearing a smirk on his face like he'd been playing some game with her all along.

"Can't sleep?" he'd murmured, only the light from the dimming fireplace lighting his haggard face.

"Do _you_?" she'd asked, genuinely curious by that point and contemplating the chance that he'd had some kind of training reducing his need for sleep. Maybe he had some special type of nanomachine? For a second, Meryl had felt something hot pulse in her stomach wretchedly – she didn't know what it was, just that it seemed to happen whenever she noticed something else that only demonstrated the difference between herself and the hero she'd miraculously begun living with lately (though unofficially, she'd repeatedly wondered what her uncle thought of her living with a man twice her age!). The man in question had laughed, bark-like, and held out his arm toward her in the dim light.

Meryl had fallen asleep against his bare chest that night, only to wake up a few hours later, back in her own bed and very much alone. Snake was already eating breakfast when she'd gone back downstairs. The night went unmentioned and apparently forgotten, for him at least.

But this time, Meryl could not hear the sound of Snake adding logs to the fire or moving from room to room. Not even the sound of metal clinking together as he cleaned and checked over his own (and rather impressive) gun collection. Frowning into the darkness, she closed her eyes as if it would help her hear more clearly.

No footsteps, no sounds of furniture being disturbed as he sat in the living room or cupboards being opened and closed in the kitchen. For the first time in a month, she was met with absolute silence. Way out in the Alaskan wilderness, it made her feel… isolated.

All of a sudden, her chest tightened uncomfortably. Breathing became much more difficult, like her lungs had been filled with thick sponge, stopping the oxygen from entering her body properly. The darkness became all the more intense, and she could swear that somewhere in the distance she could hear the sound of metal being dragged along the ground… an echoing bang… not unlike a gun shot.

Meryl bolted upright in her bed, fingers twisting in the sheets as beads of sweat appeared across her forehead. Not caring she was only wearing a pair of small shorts and a camisole, and no longer feeling the cold against her skin, she flew to the window beside her bed and pushed the curtains as wide as they would go. Her fingers fumbled with the lock and she cursed loudly, the tight knot in her chest was squeezing like a fist around her heart-

The window opened with a loud thump, though this time, Meryl didn't hear it. She was too busy leaning as far out into the night as she possibly could without falling out onto the snowy ground below.

_The snow… God, it's everywhere here. Just like at Shadow Moses…_

Her eyes closing in concentration, Meryl forced herself to take long breaths instead of short, sharp gasps – it was as though her body had forgotten how to breathe properly.

After a few more deep breaths, she felt the bitterness of it in her throat, making her nose sting. But instead of registering the sudden discomfort it caused her, she felt like someone had just given her the kiss of life – breathing fresh, clean oxygen into her lungs.

Taking in mouthful after mouthful, she eventually felt the goose-bumps rising on her flesh and realized just how cold she was. When she finally opened her eyes again, she felt dizzy and disorientated.

_Probably all that air…_

Pulling the window shut (but leaving it unlocked), Meryl carefully made her way across the room. Having the curtains open meant everything was covered in an eerie, white glow. But at least she could see better. Collapsing onto the bed and curling into the sheets, she lay there counting the seconds go by.

The sound of a door closing downstairs made her jump, until she heard the familiar sounds of Snake banging his boots on the floor to clear the snow from them as he hung up his coat. Meryl slowly felt herself relax; the sound of Snake prodding some life back into the fire that was no doubt dwindling to a dim flicker was a comfort in the silence.

Eventually, her eyes grew too heavy to keep open, and she fell into a restless sleep; unaware of the shadow that appeared soundlessly in her doorway, watching her toss and turn through a veil of hazy cigarette smoke.

The minutes passed, and when Meryl finally seemed to calm in her sleep, Snake turned his back on the old guest room and wandered to his own, pulling his shirt off and throwing it behind the door as he entered. She was still having nightmares, though she'd never admit it. He saw the determined but haunted look in her eyes every morning, one he was more familiar with then he cared to remember. But what he'd just witnessed was a first for her; the panic he'd seen on her face as she hung from the window, oblivious to his presence below as he lit up his cigarette.

His brows furrowed in thought. Normally, he'd have made a point of her lack of awareness. The fact that she seemed to feel so safe in his home bothered him, mostly because his instinct as a soldier was just something he'd learned to live with day in – day out. Snake knew how important it was to never let your guard drop.

But… he was also trying to live a new sort of life. He'd told her that much after Shadow Moses; that they'd find a new path together….

_Maybe it's time I lived for someone else… someone like you… maybe that's the __**real**__ way to live…_

The memory of that day – that moment – had been something he'd played over in his mind almost every night since they'd both arrived at his cabin. It was a memory that had made things seem so simple at first, what could be so hard about starting a new life? Plus… Meryl was a girl unlike any other. A little tomboyish, sure. But that just meant he didn't have to worry about sharing a bathroom full of make-up and God knows what else it was women kept scattered around the place. And Meryl was… interesting. Snake actually cared about what she had to say, and she damn well made sure he listened! They'd spent many a night sat by the fire, just talking. And in some cases, just… being. It was nice. It was refreshing.

It was occasionally terrifying.

Taking a long drag from his cigarette and holding the smoke in his mouth to savor the taste, Snake thought back to the night he'd heard Meryl creep down the stairs in the early hours of the morning. He'd heard her moving the minute she'd left her bed, even though she was clearly trying to go unnoticed. He couldn't help the smug look on his face when he'd opened his eyes and saw her watching him, disappointment darting across her face

It was the first night they'd fallen asleep together… something Snake still found himself surprised about.

Sure, he'd slept beside other people in the past. Well… in theory. He'd shared the bed until morning, at least.

But even though Snake had found himself more then comfortable with Meryl curled up against his chest, one arm latched possessively around his middle… he hadn't been able to sleep. And the harder he tried, the more he'd been aware of the fact that he wasn't alone. At least with Meryl in her own room, he could pretend things were the same as before…

With a grunt, Snake squeezed the end of the cigarette between his fingers and flicked it into the small bin beside his dresser.

The days were easy. This 'new life' almost seemed to happen on its own. But when the sun disappeared behind the snowy mountains and the monotonous night began… it felt like he was losing grip on something – he just didn't know what.

Glancing at a small, battery operated clock beside his bed, Snake was unsurprised to see it had past one a.m. Throwing himself back onto his tough mattress, he placed his hands over his face and pressed on his eye-lids, willing sleep to come. He didn't bother shifting up the bed, knowing laying flat would only make it harder. He let his legs dangle over the bottom of the bed and rest against the floor. The rough material of his clothing wasn't a hindrance to his comfort at all. In fact, it was the opposite. Call him paranoid, but Snake preferred to know his was ready at all times – for anything. Remaining suitably dressed, even in sleep, was just another part of his life he'd gotten used to.

As the saying went: You can't teach an old dog new tricks.

And you couldn't get them out of old habits either.

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Disclaimer: All rights belong to Konami etc and not me!


	2. Gifts

Chapter Two

Gifts

The next morning followed the same routine as ever. By the time Meryl was awake, feeling exhausted and stiff but rested enough to face another day, Snake had already woken and straightened his bed sheets – leaving no sign of anyone having used the room the night before. Meryl washed and dressed quickly, throwing on a pair of socks and a jumper she'd borrowed from her… 'housemate'… a few weeks prior, and it was as she pulled on one of the few spare tops of her own that she decided today would be the day she asked Snake to take her into the small village east of their cabin to shop. She needed supplies, desperately; the one trip Snake had made three weeks ago hadn't been adequate enough for a woman's needs – though she'd been too embarrassed to tell him at the time.

Feeling frumpy, but warm at least, she made her way down the stairs and through the living room – which was decorated quite well, considering Snake never had company. It was surprisingly… homey… with two double-seated sofa's facing each other, a rug between them and an old stone fireplace taking up most of the small wall separating the room from the kitchen.

Stepping into the said kitchen, she saw Snake already tucking into his breakfast and greeted him warmly, seating herself at the only other chair at the table – which already had a bowl of steaming porridge in front of it. Meryl grimaced. They must be running low on foot too, as this was the third morning in a row they'd had porridge.

"…Snake" she began, picking up a spoon and turning over the slushy substance idly.

"When are you going to call me David?" Snake sighed grumpily, not looking up from his own breakfast.

Meryl smiled, though he didn't see it, "Sorry. Old habits die hard"

Snake grunted, though Meryl saw his lips turn up at the corners.

"I was going to ask when you planned on going back to that village? It's just that… I need a few things"

Snake placed his spoon in the table, bringing up his free hand to rub at his unshaven chin as he thought. "Funny you should ask" he told her, "You received a package today"

"A package?" Meryl blinked, "From who?"

"Campbell, I suspect"

"Oh. That was… nice" _Though unexpected._

Snake scrapped the last of his breakfast from the bottom of the bowl and swallowed noisily, "I'll get it for you" he said, standing abruptly from the table.

Meryl quickly began to devour her own breakfast, burning her tongue as she forgot to blow on the steaming spoonful of mush. When Snake re-entered the room, he caught her sticking her tongue out in front of her, cross-eyed as she tried to soothe the burn by blowing on her own tongue. He chuckled, crossing to the fridge and pulling out the near-empty carton of milk for her to drink, which she took gratefully, and he couldn't help but notice the small blush rising along her cheekbones. Strange. She hadn't even batted an eyelid when he'd found her – or more accurately, been held up by her – bottomless in the bathroom on Shadow Moses. He mulled the thought over in his head as she finished the last of it, drinking straight from the carton. Perhaps people behaved differently in different (such as, _life-threatening_) situations.

"So, what did he send me?" Meryl panted, throwing the empty carton into the bin opposite them.

Snake handed her a thick, brown envelope that had been addressed to her – but sent to his home address. It wasn't difficult to guess that it was probably from her uncle. He was the only person who knew she was still living with him, beside's Otacon. And there was no reason for _him_ to be mailing anything to Meryl. As far as Snake knew, those two had never even had a full conversation.

"Oh!" Meryl exclaimed as a flurry of green fell onto the table, some landing in her bowl.

It was money. A lot of it.

"Did he sent a note with that?" Snake asked, a little taken aback by the amount of thick wads of cash that Meryl was slowly counting through.

"Do you know how much is _in_ here?" she wheezed, her eyes wide as she began counting, "What's all this for?"

Snake leant back in his chair, stretching his legs out under the table so his foot nudged hers. The contact seem to pull Meryl from her shock as she glanced over at him, mistaking Snake's look of deep thought for an irritated scowl. Suddenly, Meryl felt embarrassed. How rude she must have seemed to start throwing money around in front of him, though she knew he had enough for his own, comfortable life-style. "Have you heard from him lately?" she asked, closing the envelope and pushing it out of view as casually as she could. It was then that she realised she'd only spoken to her uncle once since leaving Shadow Moses Island, just to explain that she was ok, that Snake had seen to her wounds (which were healing nicely) and she was staying with him since she no longer had a place of her own to go to. Meryl had been surprised that Campbell had taken the news so well. After all, Snake was in his thirties when she was just barely an adult at eighteen. She'd teased Snake about being a cradle-snatcher during their first few days together, and he'd seemed to take it as a joke, like she'd intended. But maybe he'd also taken her words more seriously then she'd thought. After all, though they were supposed to be living a new life together, he hadn't even tried to kiss her since his fight with Liquid…

Maybe that's what he needed; a little encouragement – a life or death situation to give him a good kick up the-

"I guess that covers your expenses for… supplies" Snake stated, quickly bringing Meryl out of her thoughts.

"Oh, yes" _More then enough_, she thought.

"I'll get the truck ready then" Snake said, "Nothing better to do today"

Meryl nodded, not having enough time to respond as Snake disappeared from the room. "I'll get my things" she muttered to no one but herself.

Was it her… or were things… tense between them this morning. Tenser then was usual with Snake anyway.

The drive to the village only took an hour; especially since there were no roads between it and the cabin, which meant there were no speed limits either. Meryl had been too exhausted after Shadow Moses to feel afraid as Snake rocketed over the snowy landscape towards home a month ago. But now, sat in a truck with an engine that roared like a bear, it took all her strength not to hold onto her seat in fear while she marvelled at how Snake even knew where he was going. Everything looked the same to her, until she saw the outline of a set of small shops in the distance, growing clearer as Snake sped towards them – only slowing when they were a short way away.

He pulled the trunk into line with a few other sturdy looking vehicles and cut the engine. Meryl peered from her frosted window, finding the small circle of stone and wooden buildings enchanting. The snow shimmered with the sunlight, and even though it was nearing April, the scene made her think of Christmas.

Suddenly, her door was pulled open and Snake appeared before her, looking at Meryl closely with concern etched across his face.

"You alright?" he asked earnestly, "We can go back if you want"

Meryl frowned, "No. I'm fine?" she asked, completely confused. Hadn't he been the one practically dragging her from the door just an hour ago.

Snake visibly relaxed, pulling a small blue box Meryl recognised from his jacket pocket. "We won't stay long," he began, placing a cigarette between his lips and lighting it, "That big shop over there," he pointed to the one furthest from the truck, "That should have everything you need, er, item wise. The smaller ones beside it have clothes and things… I'll meet you back at the truck when you're done"

"Where are you going?" Meryl questioned, a little more brusquely then she'd meant to.

"Just a couple of things to take care of" he explained, "I won't be far. Holler if you need me. And don't worry, no one around here will bother you"

Meryl snorted, jumping from the truck into the snow "Yeah, like that'd be a problem compared to Moses"

Snake laughed quietly, "Exactly. See you in a few"

With not so much as a wave goodbye, he disappeared between some of the shops in front of them. Meryl frowned at the place he'd just been stood.

"O…kay" she muttered, "Let's shop then"

She hadn't even taken one step when she felt a hand land on her shoulder and squeeze. Spinning on the spot, she raised her fist and gasped, acting on instinct. Her knuckles connected with a jaw, and a man dressed in a large green overcoat landed haphazardly in the snow, sending flakes flying into the air.

Meryl cursed herself for not bringing her gun with her today, shifting her weight so she was ready if he attacked, she glared at him dangerously, fists still raised.

"Who the _hell_ are you?" she ground out through gritted teeth. Inwardly, she was cringing. Snake had been gone five seconds, and here she was, under attack already…

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Disclaimer: All rights belong to their owners, yep, not me!


	3. Suspicions

Chapter Three

Suspicions

Snake easily wound his way through the snow and stone walls until he caught sight of his destination in a row of small, plastic booths beneath a wooden mast. Pulling the collar of his jacket up around his neck, he looked around carefully before entering the booth – not entirely sure of what he was looking for but looking for it all the same. He examined the booth, the phone set, running his hand along the metal box and listening to the dial tone for a few minutes before deeming it suitable for use.

Punching in the number he'd memorised some time ago, he waited impatiently for the line to connect. He may have been going overboard, using a public phone instead of his own, but the codec was no longer picking up Campbell's frequency… and something just felt wrong. Especially since Meryl received her 'gift' this morning.

Things were way too quiet for his liking. After something like Moses, being used by his government in the FoxDie programme and betrayed by Naomi and Miller (though, 'set up' felt like a more appropriate term) he thought he had every right to be a little suspicious.

And when he was met with no answer from Campbell, he felt his stomach churn uncomfortably. After the second, third and fourth try, he finally gave in and slammed the phone piece down. He didn't leave any message, though it wouldn't take a genius to trace the number back to the village and figure out who'd made that call. Hopefully, Campbell was just too busy to answer the phone. But he couldn't spend the whole day out in the open like this, waiting for another time to call. Besides, he didn't want Meryl to know about his worries. She was tough enough to look after herself, but he doubted she'd be willing to just sit and wait around – especially if Campbell was in some sort of trouble. It had been him, after all, that had vouched for them all and organised a place for Otacon to live when certain unnamed persons had suggested Otacon be imprisoned for his link to the creation of Metal Gear. It was obviously just another attempt to cover up the Government's involvement with the Shadow Moses incident; to keep the secret of Rex out of the public eye.

He picked up the phone again, hesitating for only a second before dialling a different number.

"_Hello?"_

"Otacon. It's me" Snake mumbled into the phone, feeling relieved to hear the scientists voice sounding so normal, "Are you okay?"

"_Me? Sure, why? Is something wrong?"_

Snake wavered for a few moments. What if this was some sort of trap and Otacon had a guy stood behind him, a gun to his head…

He shook his head. 'Stupid', he told himself. His paranoia was just too much sometimes.

"Look" he began, "I can't get hold of Campbell, and his codec was taken offline after Moses. Have you heard anything?"

"_No. How long have you been trying to reach him?"_

"…About ten minutes"

The silence on the other end of the line was enough to make Snake squirm in embarrassment, "Listen Otacon, I've got a bad feeling. Have had for a while"

"_About Campbell?"_

"Not exactly. Just… this whole thing… I know the Government's covering up everything at Shadow Moses, FoxDie included, and I can't help but wonder-"

"_Why they'd let you just walk away, when you know everything that happened?"_

"Exactly. And Meryl too…" Snake confirmed.

"_Oh yeah, you two are still living together huh? How's it going?_" Otacon asked, his sudden cheer and topic change taking Snake by surprise.

"Er… fine" he stammered, "She received a package from Campbell this morning"

Otacon quickly reverted back to his serious self, "_Anything suspicious?" _

"A couple of thousand dollars worth of suspicious" Snake said slowly, "Even Meryl seemed surprised by his… generosity"

Otacon was quiet for a few moments, nothing but the sound of his breathing could be heard down the line. Snake waited, thinking over the situation himself. Was it some sort of warning: to run? Use the money to hide?

Had the money even come from the Colonel himself…?

"_I may have an idea…" _Otacon began.

"Is it legal?" Snake asked, not really bothered whether it was or not, but tempted to ask when he heard the hesitation in Otacon's voice. He didn't want to cause anyone anymore trouble then he had to. Of course, if something really was wrong with Campbell…

"_Only if I get caught_" the voice responded, trying to sound light-hearted and failing. "_I'll get back to you on the codec. Is your frequency still working?"_

"Yeah"

"Good. Talk to you later"

The phone hung up. Snake waited for a few seconds, once again listening to the dialling tone. It was good to hear from Hal again, which he found strange since he didn't normally get attached to people he randomly met… or saved. Whichever.

Speaking of which, he checked his watch. He'd left Meryl twenty-five minutes ago, and as he'd suspected, she still wasn't back by the truck when he re-entered the main village.

"Girls" he murmured, clucking his tongue and rolling his cigarette in his fingers. He considered waiting for her in the truck, but quickly forgot the idea as he reminded himself that Meryl was still a young woman beneath her solider-self. Tossing the cigarette into the snow, he headed for the small shop he'd never visited before. The women's only clothes boutique. He had every intention of leaving Meryl behind if she took more then twenty minutes buying clothes.

There were some tortures even he couldn't stand.

Entering the store, he beat his boots against the welcome mat and closed the door behind him. Scanning the empty room for signs of a mass of red-hair.

"Can I help you?" A voice chimed. Snake looked to his side and frowned.

"Does it look like I need anything from here?" he asked of the young blonde woman he didn't recognise. He'd visited the village regularly since moving into his home. He knew everyone here by name. And this woman, named Bridgette according to her work-badge, was not someone he'd seen before. He was instantly suspicious.

"Of course…" she stammered, the smile wavering on her face, "I er… what are you doing in here then?"

Snake looked around once more, making sure Meryl wasn't about to step out of one of the changing booths or appear from between one of the racks of thick coats. She really was quite small. He suddenly remembered an old saying about 'the best things in life' and 'small packages'.

"I'm looking for someone, she may have come in here. This tall, red hair" he explained, using his hand to describe Meryl's height.

The blonde nodded, her nose wrinkling slightly, "Ah yes. She and her boyfriend left about five minutes ago"

Snake blinked, "Boyfriend?".

Bridgette nodded, apparently finding something amusing about Snake's expression, "Well, she was with a young man. Laughing and talking. I just assumed…"

Snake felt his jaw constrict. _What is she __**thinking**__!? _Wandering off with a complete stranger! Well, the little idiot knew how to attract trouble, no doubt this guy was some kind of terrorist or kidnapper. Meryl seemed to be a magnet for bad guys: Sniper Wolf, Ocelot…

"You know…" Bridgette mused, reaching out to grab Snake's jacket as he turned to leave, his mind still lingering on the memory of that last name. He froze on the spot when he felt her hand run up to his shoulder.

"If you and… that woman… are fighting or something, I'd be quite happy to comfort you. Shoulder to cry on, perhaps?"

Snake tried not to laugh as the woman pouted in a manner she clearly thought was seductive. This was the type of woman he was glad Meryl _didn't_ take after, he'd take the trouble-magnet any day. He couldn't imagine living with someone so… cheap.

He didn't bother replying to her offer. His quick departure should have been enough for her to get the picture. Still, he was aware of her watching him leave as he trekked back to the truck.

_Now what?_

Leaning up against the truck, he fought with his impatience and irritation over his ability to think clearly. He couldn't go storming through the village, guns-a-blazing (though it was surprisingly tempting). But if the store-clerk had seen Meryl only a few minutes ago, she'd still be nearby. He stopped and listened, peering into the windows of a few nearby shops until he caught sight of the largest, most brightly building.

_The supermarket._

Ah. Yes, he'd told her that was the best place to go for her things. Leaving the empty truck, he nodded 'hello' to a few people he recognised and quickly entered the large, double-doors. This was the only store that looked particularly modern, with long fluorescent lights across the ceiling and row after row of frozen goods beside shelves of every other item he could think of.

Snake scanned the rows, passing over the faces of the other shoppers until he heard a bright laugh he thought sounded familiar.

He spotted her. Standing at the end of a check-out and handing over a few notes to the acne-ridden teenage boy who worked there, she was smiling up at a man he didn't recognise. A man… who reached out and placed his hand on the lower portion of her back as he helped pick up her bags.

Snake growled, causing a group of kids who were passing to shoot him nervous glances and quickly dart out the door. Meryl didn't even notice him watching her as she began walking to the exit. She could hear the pair now, and she was still smiling at him.

And this stranger still had his hand on her back…

Snake stepped forward, placing himself in their way (at least, in _his _way).

"Meryl" he greeted, ignoring the man at her side.

She blinked up at him, surprised, "I thought we were meeting back at the truck?"

"…You took too long" he bit, not wanting to admit he'd been… concerned… to hear she'd gone off with someone he didn't know. Someone… else. Snake didn't like the look of him. Not one bit. Head shaved, square faced. His clothes looked tatty and unkempt – and though he didn't look much better, that small fact slipped his mind as Meryl introduced him.

"Oh. Sorry. This is Craig" she explained, shocked at the dark glint in Snake's eyes as he looked over the man who'd so graciously offered to show her around town… after she'd punched him. Meryl noted the sudden change in atmosphere as Snake ignored Craig's extended hand of greeting and frowned. He was just being plain rude.

"Look, Craig offered to show me around the place and help me carry my things. And… I kind of owed him an apology anyway…"

Snake rose an eyebrow in question, noting Meryl's blush as Craig pointed out the bruise slowly appearing over his cheek.

"She socked me one" he sighed playfully.

Snake's eyes widened in surprise, "Did he hurt you?" he demanded, eyes flashing dangerously. Meryl didn't miss the way his fists clenched at his side.

"Of course not! He took me by surprise, that's all" she said corrected, slightly panicked, "Do you think he'd still be standing if he _had_?"

Craig laughed, though Snake doubted he got the joke. He didn't know Meryl was a soldier with years of training. Knowing that he did, that he knew her better then this… moron… made him feel smug and only confirmed his theory – this guy was an idiot. Meryl just seemed to be humouring him. His relief at the revelation was more intense then he thought it should be…

"I er…" Meryl began after no one spoke for a full, uncomfortable minute, "I think I'm done"

Snake nodded, stepping to the side.

"I'll meet you by the truck" he said flatly, not taking his eyes from Craig's face. Meryl shivered at the cold look.

"You're _not_ done?" she asked.

"… Just one more thing" Snake said, not looking at her, "I'm sure Craig will keep you company until I'm back"

"Of course" her new friend replied, and Meryl felt his arm climb up her back and land around her shoulders. She frowned. The hand on her back was enough… but now she could see what was going on.

Meryl shifted, not subtly either, to make his arm fall back to his side. She wasn't going to stand there while these two threw testosterone at each other!

"Actually," she said vehemently, "I think I'm fine. Nice to meet you Craig"

She quickly grabbed her bags from his hands, turned on her heel, and stalked from the store with her nose in the air. Even though Snake recognised her temper as bordering on 'hazardous', he couldn't help the smug grin on his face as he followed her – leaving Craig in the shop entrance, looked both inflamed and disappointed.

Meryl was already sat in the passenger seat when Snake caught up with her. Climbing in beside her, he placed the key in the engine and brought the old truck to life.

"I thought you still had things to do" Meryl snapped.

Snake shrugged, "It can wait".

She didn't reply, keeping her eyes fixed in front of her. In fact, she didn't look at him for the rest of the trip home; and the only sounds she made were the ones of frustration as her fingers tightened on her arms, which were firmly crossed across her chest.

Snake hadn't even cut the engine when she jumped from the door, bags and all, and stomped toward the front entrance. She pushed past him once the door was unlocked, and made straight for her room.

He could have sworn he heard her muttering something along the lines of 'insufferable' and 'men' as she went. He closed the door and shook his head, deciding to wait downstairs and listen silently to the sound of her tramping around her bedroom 'til she finally calmed down.

Falling into the chair beside the fireplace, he scratched at his chin and contemplated having a shave, but it wasn't long until other thoughts invaded his mind. Campbell, Otacon's plan… and two new, known persons in the small, isolated village so close to his home…

Coincidence?

He decided not to think too hard on it. Not until Otacon got back to him with whatever news he had. Instead, he laid his head back against the chair's rest, and felt his eyes slide closed.

**

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Disclaimer: The rights belong to Konami etc. I own nothing but the plot!


	4. Realisations

Chapter Four

Realisation

They'd been home almost _two _hours, and the bastard still hadn't been up to apologise to her.

Sighing into her pillow, Meryl rolled over on her bed and punched the mattress angrily as she fought the urge to go downstairs herself and give Snake a good slap upside his thick head.

Though she'd showered and dressed in the clothes she'd bought earlier - feeling much more comfortable now that everything fit properly - Meryl was still fuming at Snake's behaviour, both in the village and on the way home. He hadn't even acknowledged her as they travelled back in the truck. And how dare he disappear on her like that in the first place! Leaving her in a place she'd never been before with no explanation as to what he was up to, and suddenly getting all.. _territorial_… when another guy showed up to do the chivalrous thing!

True, Meryl liked to (and could) take care of herself. She was pro 'girl-power' and all, but… it had been _nice_. Having a guy come up to her of his own will and want to talk to her, to spend some time with her… to _flirt_! It didn't happen that often as it was! Not even before she'd joined FOXHOUND and given up on the idea of men altogether. Apparently, a girl with the ability to knock a normal guy out in one hit didn't appeal to boys her age anyway.

But _oh_, she hadn't been flirted with for such a long time. She was beginning to forget what it felt like to be treated like a woman!

Of course, before her mission, she'd been subjected to psychotherapy in order to remove the chances of her being distracted by the other male soldiers. But that didn't make her a dead-woman! The attention, the chance to laugh and relax… it didn't have to go any further then that.

But Snake's face back at the store…

Meryl shivered at the memory. Maybe it was the tense atmosphere that had done it, or the fact that they were in a normal, everyday life situation and not on Moses; but that familiar glint in his eye that reminded her that Snake was… dangerous…

It had frightened her. Just for a second.

After getting tired of stewing over the mornings events, she decided it was time to give in (especially since she hadn't eaten any but a few mouthfuls of porridge that morning). Meryl rolled clumsily off of the bed and straightened her clothes. Jeans, thick socks (they were needed in this place) and a hooded zip-up top was enough to keep her comfortable for now. She remembered the blonde woman back at the store, sneering at her as she purchased sweaters and pants that resembled the wardrobe of a fifteen year old boy. She'd even had the gall to flirt with Craig, right in front of her!

Meryl shook her head and pushed them both from her mind. She needed to focus on whatever it was that Snake had been up to, what made him act so hostile – at least, more so then usual.

The possibility of him being _jealous _was something Meryl had considered a few times on their journey back from the village. And she'd quickly discarded it as ridiculous… Snake wasn't that type of guy, as far as she could tell. Plus, he hadn't exactly tried to lay any claim to her over the past month. All the attraction that had been there on Shadow Moses felt like little more then a dream now. In fact, Meryl had begun to think she'd imagined it, that it had all been one-sided. Perhaps Snake was taking pity on her, letting her stay until he got bored of humouring her little fantasies. Maybe he even thought he owed it to Campbell: to look after his hapless, teenage niece. She'd knock them _both_ out if that were the case!

But there was only one way to find out.

Pulling her door open and walking with loud, firm steps toward the staircase, Meryl took a deep breathe and prepared to confront Snake over his strange behaviour. She'd _demand_ answers, and wouldn't give in no matter how aggressive the argument got. And with both of their tempers so volatile, it would make a nuclear explosion look like nothing more then a spark from a matchstick.

So, when she turned into the living room and opened her mouth to… verbalise her displeasure, she was surprised to find him sat motionless in his usual seat – snoring like chainsaw.

Meryl blinked.

Once, twice.

She rubbed her eyes.

_Nope. Not imagining things._

Taking a small step forward, she tentatively reached out, just waiting for Snake to open his eyes and glare at her. She was within touching distance now, and he hadn't moved an inch.

_He's… really asleep!_

Meryl covered her mouth as a small giggle escaped her lips. He looked so different asleep! His face was relaxed, his mouth slack as he snored away. She watched the slow rise and fall of his chest for a few minutes. He'd never appeared so… peaceful. It was like looking at a whole other person!

After gaining her fill of watching him twitch a few times in his slumber (and overcoming the surprise that Snake _did _in fact sleep like a normal human) Meryl realised just how cold the room was. The fire hadn't been lit at all that morning, and the icy breeze seeping through the windows was making her hair stand on end.

Hopping up the stairs as quietly as she could, Meryl opened the closet at the end of the short hall and pulled out a thick blanket, carrying it back to the living room to cover Snake enough in order to stop him catching a chill. Nobody needed to deal with a Solid Snake suffering from 'man flu'.

She placed it lightly over his body, not wanting to wake him. He was still wearing his boots, however, and the snow left on them was beginning to soak through the fabric. Tut-ting quietly to herself, Meryl knelt on the ground beside him and carefully began to untie his laces before easing them from his feet. Snake grunted, his arm flexing slightly as Meryl moved to remove the second boot.

She didn't see Snake's eyes slowly open, nor the way they darkened as instinct took over.

Suddenly, before she could understand what was going on, she found herself pinned to the floor by her wrists; Snake's body holding hers down as she struggled to breath. The impact against the wooden flooring had winded her, and she'd had no time to prepare herself for Snake's quick, and unexpected, attack.

His eyes widened in shock as he realised just who was wheezing noisily beneath him.

"Meryl!?" he breathed.

"_Who… did you think… it was_…" the red-head panted, staying limp under his hold until she was sure he knew what he was doing; quickly found herself relieved that he hadn't been armed. Did he even notice that his grip was sure to leave bruises on her wrists?

Snake blinked a few times to clear his head, still feeling muggy from his sudden awakening. He registered the presence of a blanket between the two of them, and the fact that he was now wearing only one shoe when he was sure he'd fallen asleep with both on.

_Oh. Right._

Snake quickly sat up on knees, still towering over Meryl as she propped herself up on her elbows to glare up at him.

"What the hell!?" she rasped.

"I was sleeping" Snake told her, as if it were explanation enough for attacking her.

Meryl rose both hands, now free from Snake's grip, into the air in a mockery of apology, "Jeez, sorry! You fell asleep with wet boots on, and in case you hadn't noticed, your cabin gets pretty damn cold! What was I supposed to do?"

"You could have woken me" he grumbled.

Meryl scowled up at him, her eyes gleaming with anger in the darkness, "You know what Snake, you're an asshole!"

"Can't argue with that" he agreed with a casual nod.

She stared up at him, dumb-founded. Only _he _could react so passively to being insulted.

"Get off me" she snapped, pushing at his stomach so he tumbled backwards. The surprise on his face made her snort loudly when he hit the ground. "Yeah, not nice is it. Being tossed around"

Meryl's snort turned into a full-blown laugh as Snake – _Solid Snake _– actually struggled to pull himself upright again. He made sure to grit his teeth against the groan growing in his throat as his back ached painfully.

_Must have slept odd, trapped a nerve, _he thought to himself.

Meryl was still fighting off her giggles as he sat upright. For the first time since she'd met him he actually looked his age. Haggard, grumpy… and kind of sexy…

_Ah!,_ she moaned internally, _Focus, you're supposed to be mad at him! And since when did older men do it for me anyway…?_

"I'm about five seconds away from kicking your butt if you don't shut up" Snake griped.

"You sound like an old man"

That was all it took. Being more careful not hurt her this time, and watching the (almost healed) wounds Meryl still carried from Moses, Snake lunged. However, he hadn't expected her to be prepared this time.

Easily diverting his attack, and using Snake's own weight to unbalance him, Meryl quickly twisted her body so Snake fell at her side, slamming face-down onto the floor. She jumped on his back, pinning his hands between his shoulder blades.

"Not bad" she teased, "I'd bet there are a few people who'd be surprised to hear you were bested by a _rookie_" the last word was spat from her mouth like it tasted bad. Snake smirked.

"I let you do that"

"Yeah, right!"

As quickly as Meryl had moved before, Snake easily lifted his lower half from the ground, toppling the woman from his back just enough for him to twist round to face her.

"You should have seen that coming. You know, I could get out of his hold before you could say 'Metal Gear'"

Meryl laughed, though she knew he was right. "Yeah, well… you're bigger then me"

"Size has got nothing to do with it. It's all about skill"

This time, Meryl's laugh was neither mocking or victorious. The sound was something Snake had rarely heard in his life-time: honest, sincere amusement. It wasn't until Meryl rose an eyebrow at him that he replayed what he'd just said in his mind, realising how it had sounded. Even he couldn't stop the grin spreading across his face.

Meryl suddenly found herself glad that the curtains were still pulled closed, leaving little light in the room. Hopefully Snake was unable to see the blush across her cheeks. It was time for her to get back in control.

"So," she began, feeling a rush of confidence as she looked down at him, "What the hell were you up to back at the village?"

Snake gave a meagre attempt at a shrug, "Giving you the chance to shop, like you asked". His voice was casual, his expression blank. Unfortunately, that's what gave him away. Meryl had lived with him long enough to know that if he were telling the truth his expression would usually just be bored – not poker-faced. Snake _always_ looked bored. It was something that greatly frustrated, and worried, her. Her insecurities always left her wondering if it was because she just wasn't enough to keep him interested.

"Then why didn't you stay with me?" Meryl continued, making it clear in her expression that she didn't believe him at all. Her eyes remained on his face, unblinking. Snake mimicked her expression, which made Meryl feel like she was in the middle of an interrogation. Though who was being interrogated, she wasn't sure. Even though Snake was held in the most vulnerable position, Meryl was still thrown off-guard by the easy confidence he seemed to radiate.

"I didn't realise you needed a babysitter" he replied, his voice bordering on annoyed.

"I don't!" Meryl quickly protested, "I can take care of myself."

Snake laughed darkly, "You made that much clear."

As quickly as it had left her earlier, the frustration came rushing back as Snake refused to play nice. Meryl narrowed her eyes, and the simple change of expression made her look much older then her eighteen years.

"I haven't forgiven you for that either" she said, a low tenor in her voice.

Snake blinked, "For what?"

"For acting like… like… Oh, I don't know!" She wailed, throwing her arms in the air in defeat.

Snake laughed, "You're mad at me for something but you don't know what I did?"

"Oh, I _know_. I just don't… understand" Meryl sighed, placing her fingers to her temples as if she had a headache.

Snake sat upright, taking hold of Meryl's shoulders as he looked into her the eyes, "Meryl. I don't like playing games. What is it?" he said firmly, tired of her mood swings by now.

The young woman took a deep breathe and closed her eyes, preparing herself for the embarrassment that was sure to overwhelm her once she uttered her question.

"Do.. do you… _like_ me?"

Neither person moved as Snake fought with his surprise… and amusement. Meryl was all too aware that she sounded like a school-girl trying to ask out a crush, and she was mortified. She blushed, glancing up from under her lashes to see Snake's blank expression watching her warily.

"You're not under Psycho-Mantis' control again, are you?" he asked, lifting one eyebrow teasingly. Meryl's blush only intensified as she remembered the things Psycho-Mantis had made her say, controlling her every move and thought until Snake had freed her from his control.

Apparently, her unimpressed expression was enough to prove to Snake that she was asking of her own volition this time. "I'm not" she said slowly, "I just… I need an answer from you Snake. For the past month you've barely spoken to me. Can you understand how confusing that is, after what you told me when we left Shadow Moses?"

Snake didn't respond, but his expression seemed to soften a little, giving Meryl the confidence to continue.

"And your behaviour back at the village today, I saw the way you looked at Craig… was that about… me? Or some stupid, man-pride thing?"

Snake's brows came together, causing a crease to appear on his forehead that Meryl wanted to reach out and run her fingers over. She knew that expression well. He was thinking, hard. Had she really given him so much to dwell over, a simple 'yes' or 'no' would suffice.

But Solid Snake made no sudden moves, nor did he enter into a situation without considering all angles first. He was weighing up the pro's and con's of each answer… and trying to figure which was the most truthful.

If he said 'no', Meryl was sure to be crushed. He wasn't being egotistical, it was obvious how much she cared for him. Mantis had seen it himself. But if he gave her the answer she wanted…

Snake sighed. He knew the truth, and he knew what it would mean once he admitted it. He just didn't know if he was ready for that change just yet, regardless of what he might have said before.

Because, yes, when he'd seen Meryl smiling at Craig the same way she smiled at him, he'd felt… protective. No, more then that. _Possessive_. At some point over the past few weeks he'd come to think of Meryl as a part of… well, a part of his home. So when some other manhad started laying his hands all over her, he'd felt justified in his yearning to knock the bastard out. Plus, he owed it to Campbell to protect her. Snake didn't wanted Meryl wandering off with some moron… or any guy for that matter.

Especially now that things had grown… complicated. And not just because of his feelings. There was someone out there, waiting to snatch all of this away from him. He just knew it. It was like Karma. He had no right to have someone like Meryl in his life after all the things he'd done… all the people with loved ones waiting for their return that he had mercilessly killed.

"Look" he began, but he was quickly interrupted as Meryl leapt from his lap and moved to lean against the fireplace, her hands clenched into tight fists at her sides.

"I knew it" she spoke, to herself or him, Snake wasn't sure. But she carried on regardless of his confusion, "You don't do you. What was it then? Trying to grab a quick fumble on the battle-field? Or did you expect me not to make it out at all, so you wouldn't have to keep up the charade-"

"Don't act like you understand me" Snake hissed dangerously, pulling himself upright to face her, "You sound like a kid" he chided, "You've no idea what I do or don't feel. So don't go making assumptions based on your own half-assed female logic"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Meryl shouted, spinning on the spot to look at him directly. Her cheeks were flushed with anger, and glowed brightly even in the dull light.

"It means… I'm just trying to do what's best. For both of us"

"And that means keeping me out of the loop huh? You expect me to sit around and wait for you Snake, is that it?"

"No. You're free to do what you want… but it won't change a thing" he concluded, crossing his arms over his chest.

Meryl physically recoiled at his words, shocked the implication in his words. She took in a deep breath between, grinding her jaw as she tried to resist the urge to kick something – mostly Snake.

"So if I said I wanted to leave…"

"I wouldn't force you to stay"

Meryl felt as if her heart had just plummeted to her stomach with those words. He didn't want her around… just as she'd always thought.

Snake saw the pained expression flicker over her features. He couldn't keep the deception up for long, but he didn't want to scare her, not when she was so… he wanted to think 'fragile', but somehow, that term just didn't seem to fit right with his description of Meryl. Still, it was too early to worry her yet, he'd wait to hear from Otacon before making any decisions. And as much as he'd meant what he'd just said, that he would never force her to stay against her will, he had to let her know that wasn't what he wanted. Not really.

He took a step forward, lifting his hand to brush a strand of red hair from Meryl's face. He felt her hitched breath and lifted his lips in a what he hoped was a reassuring, and honest, smile.

"I wouldn't force you to do anything… but, I'd ask you to just trust me Meryl. It's all I need"

She blinked up at him, raising her hand up to touch his own. For a second, Snake thought she was going to push him away, to refuse. But she tightened her hold around his fingers and squeezed.

"… Okay" she whispered, so quietly he could barely hear, "But if you don't tell me what's going on, you know I'll just find out myself eventually"

Snake chuckled. Yes, definitely not 'fragile', "I suppose I'll have to come to your rescue afterwards"

Meryl grimaced, and then smiled wickedly, "I can't see myself having a problem with being rescued by _you_"

He rolled his eyes, quickly changing the subject before the conversation got too soppy.

"Dinner?" he asked.

The atmosphere shifted quickly. It was one of the things he'd been surprised to learn about Meryl; her uncanny ability to adapt to new situations. It was a trait he'd only ever really noticed in himself. He watched as her smile changed from wicked to simply happy.

"Only if I can cook" Meryl agreed, quickly bounding towards the kitchen, "No offence, but I'm surprised you've lived this long eating that junk you call food!"

Snake laughed for her benefit. But he felt his expression slide away when he heard the familiar trill of his codec calling. Pressing his finger to his ear, he moved from Meryl's view and waited for Otacon's voice.

He didn't have to wait long.

"_Snake?" _

"Yeah" he muttered quietly.

"… _we've got a problem…"_

* * *

_Disclaimer: I own no rights to MGS or it's characters etc._

(Edited: April 10th 2009)


	5. Running

Chapter Five

Running

"_Meryl_!"

Snake's shout was enough to have the young woman in the kitchen jump out of her skin as he suddenly ran into the room. Grabbing her wrist tightly, he began dragging her back onto the living room.

"Wha-?" Meryl began, as Snake lead her upstairs.

"Go to your room and pack a bag, only the essentials, got it? And stay away from the windows!"

"Snake, what's going-"

"Just do it Meryl, I'll explain in the truck. But we have to leave, _now_!"

Meryl complied, too frightened by the expression on Snake's face not to obey. Having no idea what could possibly cause Snake to run from his own home, she could only assume it was a matter of life-or-death. With that thought making her heart leap into her throat, she didn't waste time and left to do exactly as he asked. She pulled some spare travel bags from the closet and began piling her clothes into them, adding a few toiletries and the bag of money she'd been sent that morning.

At the same time, Snake ran into his own room, throwing the door open with a bang and fell to his knee's beside the bed. He reached underneath the frame and pulled out a heavy metal trunk. Entering the combination hastily, he flipped it open and began taking out as much of its contents as he and Meryl could carry. The rest was placed in a strong bag he kept at the bottom of his dresser. Next he began to grab handfuls of clothes – hardly aware of what he was stuffing into the bag as he went, and not really caring either. It only took him one trip to the bathroom to recover any other items he would need, and he made sure to call down the hallway for Meryl to hurry as he did so.

She was in his doorway seconds later, two large bags hoisted over her shoulder. Snake was in the middle of sorting through some paperwork while she watched. He picked up two small booklets and a white envelope, stuffing them into his pocket.

Meryl eyed the things he'd left on the bed, turning pale.

"Take whatever you can carry" Snake instructed her, picking up the SOCOM he'd kept from Moses and tucking into a strap around his calf. Meryl quickly did as he said, placing two guns in her belt and a small revolver inside her coat pocket. She also slid her own combat knife into the side of her boot, just in case. She'd never been close enough to an enemy to use it, and didn't particularly want to either – at least with a gun, you were far enough away to not have to see your victims face up close. Or smell the blood.

"Now what?" she asked, successfully hiding the shake of her voice – much to her own surprise.

Snake took her by the arm and directed her back downstairs. He peered from the windows for a few moments before picking up a pair of binoculars hanging by the door. Meryl wordlessly waited at his side, looking around the cabin sombrely – as if it might be the last time she'd ever see the tattered rug and worn furniture that already held so many memories.

"_Meryl_" Snake hissed, snapping her out of her trance. She turned to look at him, gasping as he caught her face between his hands.

"Take the keys and bring the truck around the back. I'll meet you in five minutes. And keep an eye to the distance, got it?" Snake instructed, his eyes unusually bright with the unseen danger.

She nodded, taking the keys in one hand and their bags in the other. The weight of them didn't even register as she stepped into the biting cold. All she could think of were three words: _'We're running. Why?'_

Something must have happened. The same something that Snake must have been waiting for all those weeks. If she was correct in her guess, the documents he'd been holding earlier were passports. They weren't just leaving home, they were leaving Alaska entirely.

She did as she'd been instructed, looking off to the trees and mountains while paying attention to the slightest movement. It was difficult to see with bare eyes, but she knew if a sniper were located out there, waiting, she'd be sure to catch the gleam of his scope with the sun shining on everything so brightly. At least, she hoped so.

She entered the truck as if in a dream, the sound of the engine making her jump when she turned the key even though she was prepared for its thunderous roar. She was careful as she drove it to the back of the cabin, where the door was half-hidden behind a pile of logs and scrap metal Snake hadn't gotten around to moving.

Inside, Snake heard her pull up and felt a small wave of relief wash through him. He didn't like the idea of her leaving his side for a second, but he didn't want her to see what he was doing. The whole situation had him flashing back to when Sniper Wolf had injured Meryl on Moses, the helplessness he felt as being confronted with an invisible enemy while someone he'd been trying to protect lay dying in front of him. He wouldn't let that happen again, no matter the sacrifice.

Standing in front of the gas oven Meryl had left on before he'd dragged her upstairs, he fiddled with some of the dials and he took one last long look around the place that was his home. He'd built the cabin from little more then a derelict shell. He'd raised his dogs here. He had planned on doing the same again when he was sure he and Meryl were safe from any repercussions from Moses.

He'd always known it was a fantasy.

Careful to hold his breath as he left, the smell of gas already strong in his nostrils, Snake pulled the backdoor shut behind him. Meryl had already moved over to the passenger side of the truck and was staring out at the forest, pale as the snow itself.

"Where are we going?" she asked quietly as Snake climbed in beside her.

"Anchorage airport" he replied. The truck pulled away sharply.

So she'd been right. Meryl didn't feel any happiness at that particular fact. Her next question was one she wasn't sure she was ready to ask yet: _Why_ were they going?

Snake was already trundling through the snow before Meryl even realised just how far from the cabin they were. She looked in the rear-view mirror to watch it shrink away in the distance. The watch on her wrist told her it was nearly 3 P.M. There were only four hours 'til sunset and it would take three hours to get to the airport. Did they have enough fuel? What about the truck once they'd reached the airport… and what about _them_? Exactly where were they flying too?

Meryl was about to start asking when Snake slowed to a stop, still looking around vigilantly. It was then that Meryl noticed that his hands were gripping the wheel so tightly that his knuckles were white. He had a thin crease in his brow and a dull shine to his eyes. It was unlike anything she'd seen from him before. It took a while to realise… that it was _sadness_ in Snake's features.

"Wait here" he instructed, opening the door to jump out into the thick snow below. Meryl watched him move to the back of the truck where she'd tied their bags and covered them with a water-proof sheet. Snake threw it back and opened a long black case she'd noticed a few times before, but never asked about. She suppressed a gasp when Snake pulled a sniper rifle into view, leaning in on the trucks' side to balance. Meryl looked around frightfully, had he seen something she'd missed? What was he doing standing out in the open if he had!?

No… he was pointing back at the cabin…

With an echoing 'bang', he fired.

For less then half a second there was only silence. Then, an almighty explosion ripped through the air. Meryl saw a cascade of orange and blue flame reach toward the sky.

She couldn't even process what she was seeing. She tried to deny it, but the inferno sending black smoke into the grey backdrop of the sky was too much to ignore.

Snake placed the rifle back in its case, and headed back to the driver's seat. His movements were slow and purposeful – almost robotic. Meryl gaped, shocked, by what she'd just witnessed. She was about to ask if he'd gone crazy when he glanced in her direction.

Meryl felt the blood freeze in her veins, she wasn't even able to blink as Snake faltered, his hand sliding from the gear-shift in a moment of uncharacteristic clumsiness.

The young woman swallowed hard and forced her expression to change, to take on what she hoped was a more supportive look. Reaching out, she squeezed Snake's hand briefly and was surprised when he returned the gesture.

They sat in silence, almost as if they were mourning something.

Eventually, Snake revved the engine and took a deep breath. It was after a few more seconds of silence that he swore loudly, causing Meryl to jump for what felt the hundredth time in the last hour.

"What?" she demanded, "What is it?"

"… I left my cigarettes in the kitchen…" Snake replied, no humour in his tone or expression.

Still, after his confession sunk in, Meryl couldn't help the grin that spread over her face. She turned to face out of the window and covered her mouth, ignoring the swirling smoke behind her. The situation was just so… bizarre! And it was such a typical 'Snake thing' to say. It almost reminded her of Moses, how he'd managed to remain so calm and collected when she'd had to work to hide her fear.

Apparently, even Snake started to see the funny-side of the situation. He let out a short bark of laughter. Then another. Soon they were both laughing together, though the sound was hardly filled with amusement. It was more like a reaction to the shock then anything else. Laughing at some dark joke because there was just nothing else to do.

"This is insane…" Meryl half-giggled, a slight edge of hysteria in her voice.

"This is my life" Snake replied bluntly, "So much for new beginnings" he added, the laughter ending abruptly. It was strange. The sudden bought of hysterics seemed to have eased the tension between them. Though everything still felt unreal.

Meryl cleared her throat – which felt oddly sore, like she has a bad cold - and began to speak, not wanting the silence to last too long so they wouldn't have to dwell on what was happening.

"Like you didn't expect something like this. Though I have to say… points for drama. You er… had this _all _planned?"

"I just wanted to be prepared" Snake told her honestly.

"Prepared for what exactly?" Meryl urged, not sure she was ready for the answer but knowing she too _had_ to be.

"… We weren't supposed to survive Moses" he informed her, sounding grave, "The air strike to destroy the base was called off, I guess using nuclear weapons wasn't an option Washington was willing to adopt. But you and I…"

Meryl's tone was subdued as she caught on, "We're walking witnesses… to Metal Gear, the Genome Soldiers and… the fact that you and Liquid are…"

"Clones, yes" Snake bit, finishing the sentence for her.

"Who exactly wants rid of us?"

"Otacon's trying to find out who. Officially, you and I were killed on the island so it has to be someone with the resources to find out what really happened…" Snake lingered on that last thought, suddenly realising just who had that sort of information… someone he hadn't heard from in a while…

Thankful that Meryl was unaware of Campbell's strange silence, and unsuspicious of the money he'd sent her just that day, Snake hoped to keep his theory from her for as long as possible. At least until he was sure that Campbell really was in danger. He could be safe and whole somewhere in the Caribbean for all he knew. Snake felt the squirm in his gut that told him he was just trying to delude himself.

But of course, Meryl was not going to forget about her closest living relative.

"What about my Uncle? He knows everything too!"

"…"

Her eyes widened with fear as something cold settled in her stomach. She could taste the dread as she spoke her next question, "Snake… something's happened to him, hasn't it..? He kept a copy of Mei Ling's data about Moses… do you think…" she stammered, swallowing a few times as her voice wavered, unable to speak the words. She knew her uncle would never betray them, but what if he'd been tortured or blackmailed? Could he hold out under those circumstances? He wasn't as young as he used to be…

"We don't know anything for sure yet Meryl. Like I said, Otacon's looking into it. He's already organised us a flight out of Alaska and he'll meet us in a few hours. We're travelling under fake names though, don't forget that…"

Snake was rambling now, talking as much to himself as to her and unaware that Meryl had gone back to staring vacantly out of the window. She couldn't think about the next few hours ahead, or the fact that she and Snake were in danger from some unknown source, possibly her own government. All her mind could focus on was the face of her uncle… a man who'd been so supportive in her career as a soldier, and yet so protective at the same time. A man she thought of as a second father. There was so much she'd never said to him, never thanked him for or asked him about…

She didn't believe in God, but she found herself praying to see him just one more time.

* * *

**Disclaimer: I own no rights to Metal Gear or its characters. Or the airport… **

**Big ol' hug for my reviewers from chapter 4. You made my morning when I read those reviews :)**

**Snake will go into more detail in the next chapter about his call from Otacon, who will also be making an appearance (eventually).**


	6. Waiting

**Notes: I've never been to America no****r anywhere by plane. So, for the sake of this fic, please ignore any inconsistencies with how a **_**real**_** airport operates. It's fiction, okay!**

Chapter Six

Waiting

The sun was hidden beyond the horizon by the time Snake pulled into the employee parking lot at Anchorage Airport. The short amount of time he'd spent working for the CIA had finally come in handy, and he couldn't help but see the irony of the situation. It hadn't been difficult during his time with them to get to understand the criminal workings within the country. He knew who to contact for fake I.D's and last minute escapes from whichever state – or country – he found himself in with as little hassle as possible. Small time crooks who posed no real threat, but would be useful in a tight jam.

Naturally, the CIA remained oblivious to the fact that he'd educated himself in such a way. Or maybe they weren't. Campbell had mentioned before Moses that they had enough dirt on him from his days as an agent to 'put him in the stockade' – it had been a means of convincing him to take the job. He snorted quietly to himself, not at all surprised by the fact that the government was willing to blackmail it's own soldiers into doing their bidding. Or retired soldiers, as he had been.

He looked to his side. Meryl had fallen asleep about an hour ago with her head held up the arm she'd tucked between her and the window, though he guessed her exhaustion was more from shock then tiredness. She'd been very quiet for the whole journey… and although he'd wanted to say something to comfort her, he just didn't know what. He didn't like to make false promises, so telling her everything would be fine was out of the question. This wasn't like their mission back on Shadow Moses Island. They had no orders, no back-up. Just each other… and Otacon.

Looking out the front window while whistling through his teeth, he waited. He'd had someone put in place at the airport for weeks, just in case he'd had to make a quick getaway. It had all seemed so surreal at the time, like something from a movie. Sat silently in the darkness, he began to think about Otacon's call earlier…

"_What kind of problem, Otacon?"_

"_I kind of… hacked into a few places that aren't entirely, well, legal. I was scanning for any mentioning's of Moses and FOXDIE. You too, of course-"_

"_And?"_

"_The official report says both of you died back on the island, though neither body was recovered. But I found something else – someone other then myself had been snooping around in the Pentagon's network"_

"_Do you know who?"_

"_Not yet. But they're leaving traces of themselves behind, so it's not a professional"_

"_Someone who already has access then? Someone within the Pentagon?"_

"_Possibly. I can keep trying to trace them, but the thing is, it was __**your **__file they seemed to be looking for. They weren't interested in Metal Gear or any of the other experiments"_

"_Hmm, if they're not interested in the other files then they must already know everything about it…"_

"_Right. I'm guessing it's you they're gunning for Snake"_

"_What about Campbell?"_

"… _No trace of him. There's not been any report of him going missing or being admitted to any hospitals or anything. Maybe he knows something about all this, perhaps he's on the run himself, and that's why he sent Meryl all that money – so you two could get out of Alaska and hide"_

"_We should have done that from the start"_

"_Don't blame yourself. You can't restart your life on the run Snake. Look, call me paranoid but with all the signs… I don't think it's safe for you and Meryl where you are. Can you leave? Today? I'd feel better knowing you two were hidden before we get any deeper into this…"_

"_I know what you mean. Otacon, I need you to do something for me"_

"_Sure. What is it?"_

"_Hack into the system at Anchorage Airport and put me and Meryl on the first flight to Vegas after eight P.M under the names 'Vanessa and Martin Harris'"_

"_Okay, no problem. I can drive to the airport and meet you there. It'll only take a few hours, I can sort us out a place to stay while I'm at it"_

"_You can really… just hack into airport computer systems__?"_

"_I er… didn't have many hobbies as a teenager"_

"_Otacon… I'm glad you're one of the good guys"_

Okay. So perhaps he'd overreacted, just a little. But knowing that there was someone prying in his files made him more then uneasy. It wouldn't take a genius to figure out that just because it had been recorded that he and Meryl were dead, it wasn't necessarily true. 'No body recovered', after all.

And then there was the appearance of Craig and Bridgette back in the village. Was it coincidence that Craig had stayed with Meryl, even after she'd punched him in the face (he still felt pretty smug about that), and that the blonde in the shop had been so flirtatious with him.

Spies?

Hell, he was a _clone_. He'd battled psychics, cyborgs and walking weapons in the last month. It wasn't as if his theory was any more bizarre then anything he'd encountered before.

So, if those two _were_ positioned at the village to find him, to check if he and Meryl were really alive, why hadn't they attacked? Were they just there as informants, confirming his Meryl's survival? His cabin was pretty well hidden in the Alaskan wilderness, so if whoever was looking for him hadn't been able to find his home, it indicated they were either new to this business or didn't have the necessary resources.

Going from Otacon's earlier call, he assumed it was the latter option.

And if there really were spies so close to home, he wanted to be as far away from them as possible. Besides, he had some old friends in Vegas…

Suddenly, Snake saw a shadow moving against the darkening sky. Sliding his hand the waist of his belt, he secured his fingers around the handle.

The shape moved into the lights cast by his truck, and he recognised the elderly man as his contact. Snake stepped from his seat, carefully closing the door so as not to wake Meryl.

"Evening, Mr Harris" the man said.

"I need those bags on the next flight to Vegas set to transport Vanessa and myself" Snake instructed.

"That'd be the five past nine"

Snake glowered. Two hours sat in the airport, great. Still, he couldn't deny the fact that Otacon was good. He'd have to make a point of thanking the scientist at some point.

"You want to look for a Mister Smith when you arrive, he'll lead you to your things afterwards – I assume they can't go through the _normal_ security measures. Would you like us to take care of your vehicle in your absence?"

Snake nodded once. This guy was direct and to the point; Snake liked him. He moved to the back of the truck and opened Meryl's bag. Though he had his own emergency savings, he was thankful that she'd thought to pack the money Campbell sent, and casually handed a small wad of the notes to the man now picking up their bags without so much as a raised eyebrow at their weight. He took a few hundred for himself and placed it in his pocket.

"Goodnight sir" he nodded before disappearing into the night.

Meryl opened the truck door and leaned inside, cutting the engine so their surroundings were plunged into purple darkness. Reaching over the seat, he placed a hand on Meryl's leg and shook her roughly.

Her hand lashed out in the darkness, and the next thing the sleeping woman was aware of was the sound of loud cursing to her side.

"What? Snake? What's going on?" Meryl cried, still disorientated as she tried to make out her surroundings.

"You punched me in the nose!"

She blinked, looking to her side to see Snake's features twisted in the shadows. One hand was pressed against his nose as he checked for breaks.

"Oh my god, _sorry_" she exclaimed.

Snake growled, "Dammit, is punching men in the face a habit of yours!?"

Now Meryl was awake enough to take offence at his tone. She climbed from the vehicle, assuming it was safe since Snake was already outside, and strode around the bumper to his side.

"You could have woken me a bit more gently" she hissed. All she'd felt was a hand on her thigh, and given the nightmares she often had about a man with long snowy hair, it was difficult to tell reality from dream as she woke so suddenly.

"I'll remember that next time" he snapped back, "Come on"

"Wait, now what, where are we going? Where are our things?" she called to Snake's retreating back in alarm.

"They're taken care of, we have to check in" he replied as she jogged to his side.

"You left your keys-"

"I know" Snake interrupted, "A friend is picking it up. Our things are on their way to the plane. We're leaving at five past nine for Vegas and you and I are now called Vanessa and Martin Harris. Did I answer all your questions?"

Meryl shuddered as the wind whipped her hair around her face. She kept up pace with Snake as he led the way toward a row of bright lights.

Meryl clucked her tongue and frowned.

"We're married?" she asked, noting the fact that they now shared the same last name.

Snake shook his head, "Brother and sister, flying out for a cousin's wedding if they ask"

Meryl gaped at him in horror, "Brother and sister!?". There was just something so… icky about that.

"Well we don't exactly look like the average married couple. Besides, I couldn't afford rings"

Meryl went silent after that. But still remained distinctly uncomfortable with the situation. Not wanting to probe into why that was, she tried to find something else to think about; and instantly regretted it. Her mind landed on her uncle, and the fact that they were leaving Alaska meant they were in _big_ trouble. Snake still hadn't explained everything, or he had and she'd not been listening in the truck.

Meryl glanced at her watch. It was quarter past seven. _Good, _she thought, _he has two hours to fill me in on everything._

It was as they were nearing the main entrance that Meryl suddenly had a thought.

"Hey, Sn-er, Martin" she asked, smiling involuntarily at the name, "How are we going to get past security with all the… things… we're carrying. And won't we look a little strange, without any luggage?"

Snake smirked, "Just trust me"

"You keep saying that. It makes me nervous" Meryl muttered. Snake ignored her, pulling the documents from his pocket as they stepped inside the doors and made for the check-in desk.

Meryl was immediately grateful for the warmth inside the terminal. She loosed then zip of her coat as she followed Snake's purposeful steps towards the desk, standing just behind him as he spoke to the woman dressed in an uncomfortable looking uniform.

"You're running a little late sir" Meryl heard her say. She looked at Snake worriedly, just in time to see him flash a dazzling smile from nowhere. She felt a kick of jealousy, and annoyance, as the woman he was still staring at intensely blushed and began typing something on the computer. Meryl tried to hide her expression and turned to watch the other passengers wandering the airport. It wasn't particularly busy, but enough so that she and Snake could easily disappear into the crowd if need be.

"Oh!" She heard the woman exclaim, and whipped her head round to see what Snake was up to now.

"You've been upgraded sir, first class. There's a note attached to your-"

"I'll take it from here Gloria" another, male voice spoke. Both Meryl and Snake looked up to see a man with black hair and a clipboard in hand walk towards them. He held his hand out to Snake politely and smiled.

"Mr Harris" he nodded.

Snake confirmed his identity with a brisk handshake and a grunt. Did she know this man? Meryl noticed that he didn't look bothered by his sudden arrival, and assumed he must have expected this. The dark haired man only confirmed this with his next words.

"We've been expecting you. Please, follow me"

Meryl cast a weary look in Snake's direction. He only placed a hand on her shoulders and directed her through the crowd. Meryl glanced back at the woman sat at the desk. She was still eyeing Snake from behind. Forgetting for a moment that they were supposed to be siblings, Meryl slung a possessive arm around Snake's waist.

He allowed it for a second before sliding free, looking at her warningly. Meryl grinned and shrugged back.

The three of them entered a doorway marked 'private' and walked in silence down a hall with wide windows on one side. Meryl stared out across the runway before them, the stars in the sky were already twinkling brightly. It felt wrong. The night should be dark and dank, the beauty of it was mocking her.

The unnamed man suddenly came to a stop beside two misty glass doors, he pulled the handle and stepped inside.

Meryl gaped. The room was _huge._

"The private waiting room, sir. Be sure to call using the phone behind the door should you need anything"

"Right" Snake nodded as the man walked back into the hallway, closing the doors behind them.

Meryl twitched, feeling jumpy. She was waiting for someone with a gun to jump out at any second and start firing. Her eyes scanned the room that was painted bright peach, the thick carpet beneath her boots was a dark gold. The room was warm and fitted with furniture she'd expect to find at a top rate hotel. Two large sofa's were facing each other in the middle of the room with a cream rug between them. Photo's of old paintings lined the wall.

Snake crossed the room to a small wooden closet hidden in the wall. He opened it, blocking Meryl's view as he reached inside. When he turned and kicked the door shut with his foot, she saw he was holding two cans of soda and plastic containers with sandwiches inside.

"You should eat something" he told her, moving to place the contents of his arms on the sofa, "The sugar will be good for you. Meryl?"

She blinked up at him, not realising that she hadn't moved once since entering the room.

"Sorry, yeah, food… good"

"Meryl… are you okay?"

Meryl threw her shoulders back defensively, "Of course, what's not to be okay. You're only going all… Bond on me all of a sudden!"

Snake quirked his eyebrows, "Nah. Bond has all those gadgets… I was never really a fan anyway. So unrealistic"

Meryl choked out a snort, "'Unrealistic'… I'm still waiting for someone to wake me up!"

Snake stilled in front of her, his eyes scanning her face closely. Meryl felt the desire to cringe as he suddenly stepped forward, a frown on his face.

"Yes, I was worried about that…" he murmured, his hand reached up to feel her forehead. Meryl slapped it down.

"About what?" she snapped.

"That you'd go into some sort of shock… you've not eaten, not been sleeping well. I know the signs of Post Trauma when I see it"

Meryl shuffled backwards, surprise written all over her face.

"Post what? I'm not traumatised!" she insisted.

Did he think she was so weak, so fragile? She suddenly felt an overwhelming burst of anger. Even though she tried to blink them back, she felt tears welling up in her eyes. She couldn't cry, not now. Not in front of him when he already thought she was so pathetic.

"Meryl, get a grip!" Snake told her, though his tone didn't hold it's usual impatient tone. He actually sounded… concerned.

Truth be told, he was hoping she wasn't about to have another panic attack. The tiredness, the diminished sense of reality and mood swings. He'd experienced it all before, but had never had to help someone else going through the same thing. What was he supposed to do if Meryl lost it?

Thankfully, he watched as Meryl took a few deep breathes and angrily scrubbed at her face. She strode straight past him and sat on one of the sofa's. Snake followed suit, seating himself on the one opposite.

He waited for her to speak.

"Okay…" she moaned, closing her eyes briefly, "I want you to tell me everything Snake. Right from the beginning - don't interrupt!" she hissed as Snake opened his mouth. He quickly snapped it shut again. "I need to know what's going on, I can't just follow you around… please, it'll help me stay calm if I just understand…"

Snake waited, making sure she'd finished this time. Meryl's imploring look was enough to make him waver in his effort to keep her out of the loop.

"Fine" he said shortly, leaning forward, "But even I don't know everything… yet…"

* * *

I want to get chapter seven up sooo bad! You'll see why!

Have you guys noticed... reviews make things happen faster!? How very strange... *wink and grin*

**Disclaimer: I own no rights to the Metal Gear franchise.**


	7. Remembering

Chapter Seven

Remembering

Meryl had a _lot_ to think about on the five hour flight to Las Vegas. So much so that she was completely unable to enjoy the small pleasures offered by travelling first class (courtesy of Otacon's hacking skills, according to Snake). She enjoyed the peace though; it gave her a chance to reflect and pull herself together.

Snake had been right so far about trusting him, his… 'friend' with the clipboard had personally guided them onto the aircraft. No security checks at all. While this made Meryl nervous when she thought about who else this man might 'help' in the future, or had helped in the past, she trusted that Snake knew what he was doing. Besides, he wouldn't knowingly let a guy like that continue his work if it put people in danger… would he?

Meryl closed her eyes and leaned back into the seat. Snake was motionless at her side. She wondered whether he was really sleeping or just pretending so the flight assistants would leave him be.

Alone with her thoughts, her mind wandered back to the waiting room…

"_Just tell me what you know" she'd insisted. Snake shifted uncomfortably in his seat. It was an unusual movement for him, he was normally so sure of everything he did. And if he wasn't, he never let on._

"_You remember what I said in the truck, that no one was supposed to survive Moses? You were supposed to be a no more then a hostage to manipulate the Colonel, so I doubt anyone cared too much if you didn't make it out either – along with the other soldiers"_

_Meryl cringed, hating the way she'd been used time and time again while on Moses. She refused to let herself end up in the same situation now that she was a little less naive, which was why she was listening adamantly to Snake's explanation, "You've been waiting for someone to come looking for us?" she asked, already knowing the answer._

_He nodded briefly, "Not many people know where I live __exactly__, I guess I thought we'd be safe enough… but then…" Snake wavered for a second, anxiously rubbing the back of his neck. Meryl continued to stare at him, she wasn't going to let him avoid the subject anymore. She __**had **__to know._

_Snake cleared his throat and continued, passing the soda at his side to Meryl - who took it numbly, only able to focus on Snake's face. "Didn't you think it was suspicious that Campbell sent you that money?"_

_Meryl frowned, "You don't think it's from him?"_

_Snake shrugged, "It must be. He's one of the very few who know my address along with the fact that we're still alive… and that you're staying with me. But why would he send it… without even trying to contact us in anyway?"_

"_A gift?"_

"_It's a lot of money for a gift" Snake said gravelly, "Anyway, when we went to the village, I used the phones there to try to contact him…"_

_Meryl tried to keep her face expressionless, but from the way Snake was looking at her she knew she must have gone white with dread. Her stomach lurched uncomfortably, and Meryl was suddenly grateful that she hadn't eaten much that day._

"_I couldn't reach him. Neither could Otacon. He couldn't find any trace of your uncle…"_

_Meryl's hands tightened around her unopened soda, but she urged him to continue._

_Snake told her everything. About someone hacking the files at the Pentagon – looking for himself in particular, his suspicions regarding Craig and Bridgette being spies to confirm their survival as well as his and Otacon's theory that the money from Campbell was a sign to run. To hide._

"_But why?" Meryl asked, "If we were going to expose the truth about what happened, we'd have done it by now! And why would they go after my Uncle? To lure us out?"_

"_Possibly" Snake agreed, "But the Colonel knows everything too. He said he was keeping data from Mei Ling's files – perhaps someone didn't like that, they wanted rid of __all__ the evidence… including us. If the Colonel's disappearance hasn't been reported, then someone must be covering it up"_

"_Perhaps someone wanted those files themselves. To see what __**really **__happened. Our side of the story, not some botched government report…"_

They'd spent the full two hours going over their circumstances. Thinking of the why's and how's – and the who's too, of course. Although the never-ending stream of questions irritated Meryl to no end, it _had_ made her feel better too; now that she knew everything she could feel like she was doing some good… if that were even possible. It seemed that there was little else to do but run at the moment.

So now they were hours from Las Vegas, tired, hungry and no closer to knowing what was going on. Snake had told her Otacon would be meeting with them once they'd landed. Meryl worried, she'd never met Otacon directly. She'd only heard about the help he'd given through Snake's version of events of Moses. But she got the impression that he'd been way out of his depth, he'd been used and manipulated just like she had been – though as a tool to develop Rex, and not as some… damsel in distress! Would he be more helpful then she could ever be?

Meryl rubbed her forehead again. It was something she always did when she was frustrated or nervous. She missed Alaska already, and the prospect of living in Las Vegas didn't exactly excite her either. The bright lights, the crowds. She was so used to the isolation Alaska had to offer, she wasn't looking forward to being surrounded by so much noise. But apparently it was within driving distance for Otacon, only hours from his home, and Snake hinted that he had 'friends' there too. It hadn't made her feel too good to imagine the sort of people he might know working there. She'd thought about asking him how he'd come to know these people in the first place. Meryl hadn't probed too deeply into Snake's past, and was now wondering if this was a good or bad thing. Plus, after what Psycho Mantis had said just before he'd died… did she even _want_ to know?

Eventually, when her brain began to rebel and she just couldn't stand to think it over anymore, her mind wandered back to a certain… other part of her and Snake's two hour wait.

_Meryl's head fell against the arm of the sofa. It was so warm in the room, and the cushions were so soft… she felt like she could fall asleep right there and not wake up again for a week. Snake was silent, more so then usual. After not even hearing him shift his position once, Meryl opened her eyes just to check that he was still there. He was. And he was staring straight at her._

"_What?" she whispered, tired of talking now._

_Snake shrugged and looked away. Meryl closed her eyes again, but still had the unnerving feeling of being watched. She peered out from under her lashes, sighing when she saw he was still watching her._

"_What is it?" she said, more forcefully now._

"_You… took that better then I thought" Snake said quietly._

_Meryl frowned, knowing that somewhere in that statement there was supposed to be a compliment. She sighed inwardly. In truth, she was terrified, sick with it in fact. She just knew that right now she had to stay calm. For both their sakes. For her uncle's too. _

_She sat upright, facing Snake again. Meryl didn't want to fall asleep here; being out of the comfort of Snake's cabin made her more nervous then usual._

_Her frown turned into a scowl with that thought, and she found herself irritated by the constant state of uneasiness that never seemed to stop. She never used to be so tense. What had happened to her confidence, her bravado? _

_Perhaps it had never been real in the first place. Meryl was good at deceiving the people around her when she had to. Plus, trying to be the soldier her father would have been proud of meant she had to be more fearless, more cunning then every other soldier she'd trained with. _

_It seemed, in her bid to fool everyone around her, she'd even managed to fool herself._

"_Snake?" she asked, hesitantly._

_He was still watching her, as if he was waiting for her to speak or ask for some kind of reassurance - like it meant anything. Snake knew she still held some unshakable fantasy about him being a 'legendary hero'._

'_Legend' – maybe. It was just a fancy word for 'story', after all. He couldn't help it if people passed it on._

_But 'hero'… never. Murderers could never be heroes._

_So Snake was taken-aback when Meryl began to fidget in her seat, apparently without realising, and asked a most unexpected question._

"_What you were saying before… about 'Post-Trauma'…"_

_Her fidgeting increased. She brought a hand up to tuck her hair behind her ears and let her eyes wander the room. Snake let out a long breath through his nose, his tone was resolute when he spoke; as if his answer was obvious and should put a stop to the conversation._

"_It's nothing to be ashamed of Meryl"_

_She nodded, her hair falling back around her cheeks with the movement. For some reason, Meryl absent-mindedly remembered that she was due a haircut. It was strange how ones mind could wonder…_

_There was silence for a few more minutes, their breathing was the only sound in room; which made it easy for Snake to notice when Meryl's breath came in slow and deep. Licking her lips anxiously, she prepared herself for her next question. Or more accurately, the answer she didn't want to hear._

_This time she forced herself to look Snake in the eye. _

"_You… don't think it makes me weak?"_

"_No. It makes you human" His answer was so quick, so… definite, that Meryl was torn in her decision to believe him. Had he expected her question and given her the kindest answer? Snake wasn't one to lie, but she knew he'd done it before to save someone unnecessary pain. _

_Naomi Hunter. The woman who had betrayed Snake during his mission, all in the name of vengeance. He'd had every reason to want to hurt her, but he'd settled for protecting her from the truth about her foster brother._

_When questioned about the doctor, Snake had refused to tell Meryl exactly what it was Naomi had done. But Meryl had an inkling that it was something to do with FOXDIE. The thought left her cold at the possibilities… was Snake still a walking weapon?_

_She jumped when Snake suddenly leant forward and placed his hand on her knee. She cursed herself for being so easily startled, and then blushed as Snake leant in even closer._

"_Listen to me Meryl. Any man or woman who can kill another human being and _doesn't _have to pay the consequences afterwards… that's not the sort of person you want to be. Trust me. It's better to feel the guilt and regret then nothing at all… it's the price we pay to be human…"_

_Meryl blinked at him, her lips parting slightly as she took in a short breath. He'd clearly interpreted her silence to be about Moses. She did feel a sudden wave of guilt then. Guilt, because she had been thinking about what had happened to __**him **__during the mission, and not to the people she'd coldly murdered. _

_How selfish could she be?_

_Suddenly, she began to understand Snake's point of view. His self-imposed separation from the world. He'd long ago accepted his role of 'killer'. That was why words like 'hero' meant nothing to him. But had his warped sense of own self-worth been so tainted by his actions, that he had actually managed to forget that he too was human?_

_Oh Meryl would feel regret, and she would mourn for those that fell by her hand. But she would not let Snake forget that he deserved to be able to live free of his guilt. The lives of enemies in return for the safety of the innocent was a fair exchange in her opinion._

_Meryl would not let herself be engulfed in the blood of others. She had thought her time with Snake would help her keep from drowning. But now she could see that it was __**her **__turn to keep him afloat. _

_Snake was the one who needed rescuing now. From _himself_ this time. He was no monster… and he might not be the sort of hero she'd dreamed about as a child. _

_He was just a man who paid the price that came with doing impossible things. And she loved him for it._

_She loved him._

_This was no hero worship, no delusion on her part and no need for a protector or mentor. With that realisation, she did something she'd never dare do in anything but her wildest fantasies._

_Meryl took Snake's face in both her hands, closed the short gap between them… and kissed him like a woman drowning - and he was her oxygen._

_Snake went still under her touch for just a second, his eyes widening in shock before closing in compliance. It didn't take long for him to begin kissing her back just as forcefully. _

_He had no idea where this had come from. The mood wasn't exactly set for a romantic love scene. But Snake couldn't deny himself the overwhelming desire that overrode every other sense in his mind and body as Meryl clenched her fists in her hair. _

_The kiss was long and heated. It was violent and messy, and everything a first kiss shouldn't be. But it was so perfect, Snake could hardly believe it was happening._

_He knew he had to stop as Meryl pulled him closer, pushing herself up against him in a way that sent him wild. It wasn't often that he lost self-control like she was making him do right then and there… _

_And he wasn't about to make a start. _

_Moving his hands from Meryl's hips to her cheeks, he slowly broke away, not wanting to hurt her feelings. He didn't say anything, he didn't move away or reject her in anyway. He momentarily played with the idea of kissing her once more, softly brushing his lips along the swollen redness of her own. _

_He moved backwards and leant back on the sofa._

_She didn't seem to mind. Bright eyed and flushed, she took a deep breath and smiled. It was a smile Snake had never seen on her before. On anyone before._

_It was a smile just for him. _

Meryl opened her eyes and looked at the sleeping soldier beside her. She had a few more hours to think, to remember. But as soon as the plane touched down in Nevada, she would say goodbye to her dark past and move on to the future as the soldier she was finally ready to be.

**Disclaimer: I own no rights to MGS or its characters. **


	8. Betrayed

Chapter 8

Betrayed

"So, Otacon's meeting us where exactly?"

"He should be out front waiting for us"

"Can I ask why we're headed in the opposite direction?"

"We still have our things to collect"

"Ah. Of course…"

Sighing to herself, Meryl looked wearily around the terminal she and Snake were crossing, watching as people around them hugged their friends, picked up luggage or hastily made their way outside. It wasn't particularly busy, but enough so that she and Snake could easily hide in the crowd. It was while they were walking briskly towards… wherever Snake was going… that Meryl wished she could take her jacket off without exposing the guns hidden beneath its thick folds, and noted that it would be difficult to wander Las Vegas dressed appropriately for the weather if she and Snake needed to carry weapons without them being noticed. Reluctantly, she knew she had to put up with the warmth inside the airport for however long it took to recover their bags and found herself perversely hoping it was colder outside.

She yawned widely, checking her watch for the time (and finding herself thankful that the flight assistant had reminded her to set to it to the correct time zone). According to the blinking digits, it was three in the morning. Meryl was surprised by the way time seemed to have gone by so quickly, and yet, the morning she'd woken up to Snake's lumpy porridge waiting for her at the kitchen table felt as if it had happened weeks ago. Only twenty-four hours ago, her life had been relatively normal.

_Twenty four hours_… it was a long time to keep going without proper sleep or food. Even the meals served in first class hadn't appeased her appetite. Meryl dreaded the come-down that would arrive once the adrenaline rush caused by the whole situation stopped. Both she and Snake would need a good meal and full night's rest as soon as possible.

Well, maybe not Snake. He'd wolfed down his plateful of food on the plane and spent the rest of the journey snoring softly beside her. Meryl hadn't been lucky enough to so much as nod off for a few minutes. Especially not when he'd shifted in his sleep and ended up resting his head on the edge of her seat; his warm breath had tickled her arm. On the few occasions that Meryl had managed to stop thinking about whatever Snake had planned as their next move, she ended up flashing back to _that _moment in the waiting room… and wondering if it would happen again. The thought made her stomach flutter, but Snake hadn't given any indication that anything had changed between them at all…

But she couldn't ignore that fact that he _had _kissed her back before pushing her away.

"There"

Meryl was suddenly pulled back into the present by the sound of Snake's voice and quickly began looking in the direction that his eyes were now fixed. Stood amongst the crowd of waiting friends and families, Meryl saw a pale-looking man holding a plaque in front of him that read 'Harris'.

"More of your 'friends'?" she asked.

Snake didn't reply, he just led the way over to the greying man and introduced himself as Martin Harris. Meryl watched with interest as Snake easily lied and kept up small talk whilst the stranger began to led them through the airport. Once again they found themselves walking through a door marked 'private', and down a long hallway. Meryl would have had a sense of déjà vu had the short passage been even remotely similar to the one in Alaska. Instead of large windows overlooking the runway, there were only a few dirty panes of glass and blinking fluorescent lights to illuminate the hall. The man didn't give off the same sense of easy confidence as their previous guide had either. In fact, the closer we got to the room at the end of the hall, the tenser he seemed to become.

Meryl glanced at Snake, trying to convey her worry in a single look. His eyes were already dark with suspicion, and she was sure his hand twitched as if to reach for his gun. They were stuck though. It was too dangerous to risk hurting this man and raising the alert. Could they escape quickly and discreetly enough not to gain any unwanted attention?

Entering the room at the end of the hall - which was disappointing compared to the glamorous waiting room in Alaska - Meryl immediately spotted their bags on a table against the opposite wall. She frowned when she noticed marks that had been left across the shabby carpet. It was as if someone had recently - very recently - moved the table from the centre of the room to make more space.

The reason why was quickly revealed as the door slammed shut behind them. Snake and Meryl both spun at the same time, reaching for their weapons. They froze when they noticed the four men were all wearing the same tan and green outfit with badges attached to their shirts.

_Police_.

Meryl shot a questioning look at Snake, waiting for some kind of signal so she knew what to do. She found herself taken aback when she saw the expression on his face. 'Pure murder' was an understatement. She could see the muscles in his jaw ticking as he tried not to growl angrily. Meryl was quickly frightened, not for herself anymore, but the men in the room. Did they know how dangerous Snake was?

Obviously not. No one who knew of the legend that was Solid Snake would try to take him on with only a group of four men. Snake had taken out armies of genetically enhanced soldiers and walking nuclear weapons on his own before, and somehow, she couldn't imagine four officers would even faze him in the slightest. She found herself thinking of the inevitable struggle that would soon begin… and hoping that it wasn't necessary to do anything other then knock these men unconscious. Whether they were there to arrest them or not, Meryl still didn't want their lives on her conscience.

"Hands in the air!" one of the officers instructed, his eyes fixed nervously on Snake's. Meryl could swear she heard the faint sound of fear in his voice, and she didn't blame the poor man. Snake looked beyond livid. And even unarmed he gave off the powerful aura of a man capable of terrible things. A day ago, it would have unnerved her. But she understood her position better now. It was them, or her.

Of course, with Snake at her side it was obvious who the victor would be.

The man who had led us into the trap slowly began edging his way around us, heading for the door.

"Where do you think you're going?" Snake hissed.

The policemen all cocked their guns in response. Our guide froze on the spot, terror in his features.

"I needed the money! I've got a family to support!" he blabbered. Snake seemed unimpressed by the mans explanation – there was no use in trying to make excuses now.

It was when two of the officers stepped forward that Meryl became dimly aware of the fact that, somewhere along the line, she and Snake had both raised their hands into the air. They must have been confident in their arrest, especially with the remaining two keeping their weapons raised, since they didn't handcuff them immediately. Rather, they began patting them both down for weapons.

Their mistake was the first lucky break Snake and Meryl had received all day. One look was all Meryl needed to know when to make her move.

Simultaneously, they attacked. The man who had just begun running his hands around Meryl's waist was quickly met with a knee to his face. She heard the sickening crack as his nose broke under the force of her blow and he fell to the floor with a thump. At her side, Snake had pulled the policeman in front of him against his body, using him like a shield. He pulled his M9 from its holster and made two perfect shots at the officer's throats, rendering them unconscious. A quick blow to his hostage's neck was all that was needed to take him down too.

They were left alone with the man who'd betrayed them.

Except… they weren't.

"He's gone!" Meryl cried out as the door quickly slammed shut. Another sound met her ears and she felt dread fill her stomach. Snake crossed the room and pulled on the handles, but the doors only rattled noisily.

"I'm sorry!" cried the voice from outside, "But I can't let you go!"

"Who's paying you for this?" Snake bellowed.

They were met with nothing but the sound of the mans retreating footsteps.

Snake swore loudly and kicked the door. A quick scan of their surroundings told Meryl there was only a single, tiny window through which they could escape. She turned to point it out to Snake – who had just removed his SOCOM and was aiming at the lock.

"Wait! We can't go out that way, what if there are more?"

"Then what do you suggest?" he snapped. Meryl pointed out the rooms single window. It was slightly larger then an air-vent, so they could both slip through.

Snake holstered his gun, "We need to get our bags through there too" he pointed out.

Meryl was already moving the table to the window and was peering outside. "It's only about a seven foot drop" she told him, "I'll go through first. There's some crates out there I can use to cover me while you can pass the bags out before we're seen"

Snake ground his teeth, clearly not liking the idea. She knew it would be risky, they didn't know when the man would be back or who he'd be bringing with him (or how many). "We don't have a lot of options" she snapped, pushing the window open as far as it would go.

Snake grunted, apparently giving in. He then raised his hand and pressed a finger to his ear. Meryl instantly recognised the loose movements in his throat and jaw as the reflexes that came with using the codec. Her own no longer worked, so she guessed he was speaking with Otacon.

She used the small frame around the window as a grip-rail while she manoeuvred her legs and waist through the window. Twisting round, she held onto the bottom of the ledge and lowered herself down before letting go, falling only a few feet to the ground below. Looking around, she was grateful that it was still dark. The only light came from the occasional passing car.

"Okay!" she called towards the window. The few seconds it took for Snake's face to appear were filled with anxiety. She hated being on the other side of the wall, with him still trapped inside.

She caught each bag as Snake pushed them through, muttering under her breath for him to hurry. It was just as Snake's legs appeared through the window that she heard a loud thumping sound, like someone was trying to kicking against the door inside.

Snake landed gracefully beside her and picked up the heavier bags.

"Blocked it" was all he told her as she looked at him enquiringly. He then turned and began heading toward where the cars (mostly taxi's) were passing by regularly. He kept walking once they'd emerged from behind the cover of the crates, his eyes scanning each car quickly. Meryl tried her best to keep an eye out for security without looking suspicious to passers-by. When you were red-faced and sweating with nerves, it was not an easy task.

A few minutes later, black car pulled up beside them, the window wound all the way down.

"Get in!"

Meryl didn't have time to look at the man who was driving, Snake was already holding open the back door and throwing in their bags – quickly followed by herself. He climbed in the front of course. Meryl let out a silent grumble and made a mental note to call shot-gun next time.

Otacon's face worried face could be seen in the rear-view mirror as he darted looks from Meryl to Snake. "What happened?" he asked.

"Someone narked" Snake said bluntly, turning to face Meryl as Otacon sped away, "Meryl, lay on the bag seat so you're out of view"

"Why?" she asked, annoyed at the request. Why did she have to hide away?

"If the police have been alerted, they'll be looking for a man and a woman. Otacon and I are less likely to draw attention"

Meryl scoffed quietly, but did as he asked. Shifting the bags a little, she curled her feet up onto the seat too, hoping Otacon wouldn't mind. Snake shuffled out of his large coat and threw it to her, which Meryl curled into a ball and shoved it under her head, finding her position a little more comfortable this way.

"Where do I go? I booked us rooms as a nearby hotel…" Otacon asked.

"They're no good. They'll be looking for the name 'Harris'. Just keep driving west" Snake told him, Otacon silently complied. Meryl found herself pleased that she was not the only person Snake spoke to so bossily, and smiled into Snake's coat. Taking a deep breath as she was finally able to feel herself relax, she caught the scent of wood and gunpowder that reminded her of their lost home.

Grief for the lost cabin momentarily overwhelmed her, and she wondered if Snake had yet to feel the same. It felt like loosing a friend. The quirks of their little home had grown on her over time, now even more so that they were gone. She'd never be able to look at the scenery from her bedroom window again, never drink beside the fireplace, hear the banging from the dodgy plumbing or be able complain about the lack of heating.

She eventually zoned out the sounds and lights of the surrounding city as they continued to drive, and Meryl felt herself being lulled to sleep by the motion of the car and the steady sound of its engine.

She dreamed as they drove. Dreamed of being locked in a dark basement with only a small window to see out of. Every time she tried to open it, it seemed to grow smaller. Peering out into the shadows, she saw movement in the distance. A strange smell made itself known to her then, the smell of woodchips and gas. It made her feel nauseous. She tried harder to open the window, but it wouldn't budge. Soon it turned into a gap no bigger then her palm and the smell grew stronger still. It was when she began gagging that the shape came into view; it was Snake.

Meryl hit the window over and over, trying to get his attention. But he was talking to a man she couldn't quite see and he was unable to hear her. She began shouting his name over and over, but it was no good. The last thing she saw before the gas made her vision fog and her head sway was Snake's back as he walked away, not looking back once…

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything.**


	9. Hiding

Chapter Nine

Hiding

Meryl was woken from her restless sleep by a dull thumping sound. At first she'd thought she had imagined the noise, that it was just the memory of her banging incessantly against the ever shrinking window in her dreams.

But when she heard the raised voices and threats, she realised a few things. First, that it was strangely dark outside. Second, she was alone in the car.

Sitting upright on the backseat, she felt her head swim with fatigue in the few moments it took for her to gather her bearings. Partially hidden by the darkness in front of the car, she saw two moving shapes illuminated by the dim moonlight. The bright billboards and car-lights were nowhere in sight. Where were they now? The car itself seemed to be parked on an embankment beside a quiet road, surrounded by thick bushes and trees. The combined silence and darkness almost reminded her of Alaska again. The remnants of her dream began creeping into Meryl's mind as she watched the shadows wearily, rubbing at her tired eyes as she tried to make them focus.

The thumping sound came again, and this time Meryl could see exactly what was causing it. Gasping with shock as she realised what was happening, she felt around blindly for the door handle and awkwardly climbed out of the vehicle, her feet tripping on the undergrowth beneath her booted feet.

In front of her, Snake was holding Otacon by the collar of his shirt, shaking him roughly. There were only centimetres between their noses as he growled menacingly.

"Snake, what do you think you're doing!?"

"Get back in the car Meryl" he shot back, his tone sharp enough to make her shrink away in fear. But Otacon's voice was enough to keep her frozen in place, slightly horrified by the pleading note in his voice.

"I really didn't do anything!" he told the man who was almost holding him almost clear off the ground.

"_Snake" _Meryl exclaimed, "This is _Otacon. _He's in as much danger as we are!"

"Maybe" Snake hissed dangerously, "Not if he cut himself a deal. Besides, fear is a great motivator. He doesn't exactly have a reputation for bravery." As if to emphasis his menace, Snake shook Otacon roughly and slammed him against the car once more.

Otacon's trembling hands were both raised in front of him, palms outward, as he tried to speak. "I owe you my life Snake. I'd never betray you! You can kill me if you think I'm lying-"

He'd said the magic words. In one swift movement, Snake had a gun to Otacon's throat. Meryl's hand came up to cover her mouth as she fought the urge to scream at him; all the weariness from their journey was long gone as revulsion curdled in her stomach. Would Snake really kill a potentially innocent man – a friend – based purely off suspicion?

But what could she do now, with Snake so ready to pull the trigger? She didn't doubt for a second that he'd do it if he really felt he had too.

"Someone betrayed us" Snake spoke, his voice eerily calm, "Someone paid off my contact here, and now the cops are going to be looking for Meryl and I. It's hard enough hiding from an invisible enemy without the entire state gunning for us too! How am I supposed to keep us safe when I don't even know who I can trust!"

Otacon gulped noisily. But Meryl had to hand it to him, he hadn't vomited or passed out yet – she knew she would have done. She had to diffuse the situation… without bloodshed.

"Snake" she whispered cautiously through her fingers, "Think, why would Otacon do such a thing?"

"I'm not saying it was _him_ that paid off that scumbag. But whoever _did_ do it knew we were coming here. And the only people who know _that_ information are standing right here"

His logic did make sense. Partially. _Someone_ had to have tipped of the police. But why would Otacon turn up to help them if he'd been the one to betray them? Thinking quickly, she went over any other possibility she could think of, coming up with just one.

"What about the guy in Alaska? He walked us onto the plane, he knew exactly when we were due to arrive, our fake names, appearance. Everything!" Meryl said hastily.

Snake seemed to pause for a moment, the gun in his hand remaining at Otacon's throat. Meryl had no idea why she was so desperate to save Otacon's life, it was a perfectly logical to remove all possible threats. But there was something about the way the scientist stood completely motionless under Snake's grasp, not even trying to fight back or beg for his life. It made him so helpless. It was as if he'd already accepted his fate. Otacon was willing to die by the hand of the man who'd once saved him in order to… what? Prove his innocence? Make Snake and herself feel a little safer with his death?

Meryl tried again, taking a step forward to place her hand on Snake's shoulder, "Look at him Snake. Do you really believe he'd betray you?"

The seconds ticked by slowly. Meryl had the strangest sensation of being caught in slow motion. She tried to read Snake's expression in the darkness, but could only make out the maddened glow of his eyes. They held the same shine as a predator assessing his prey, determining the best course of action for the kill.

The gun was gradually lowered and holstered. Removing his hands from Otacon's shirt, Snake turned his back on both of them and walked away into the cover of the nearby trees. Meryl heard Otacon slump against the car's bonnet, gasping for breath. Meryl suddenly realised she herself had stopped breathing in the moments she'd waited for Snake's response. Inhaling through her nose, she placed a shaking hand on Otacon's elbow and squeezed tightly.

"You alright?" she murmured.

"You know what they say about your life flashing before your eyes before you die?"

Meryl nodded robotically, choosing not to remember her own near-death experience just then. Otacon pulled the collar of his shirt nervously and attempted a smile.

"I really need to start living a life worth watching"

Meryl snorted, covering her mouth as the sound escaped her lips. Otacon chuckled nervously beside her. "I'm really okay" he said, "It's not the first time I've been… interrogated… by Snake"

"I don't think he really believes you betrayed us…" Meryl began timidly, feeling a little unsure of her own assessment.

Otacon waved her assurances off, as if being threatened at gun-point was an everyday occurrence, "I know, I know. He's right to check though. He just wants to make sure you're safe with him, I expect"

Meryl blinked, a little taken aback by his words. She was about to question the scientist further when Snake's shadow appeared back through the trees. Meryl glanced at him nervously, but the gleam she'd seen in his eyes was gone and he appeared much calmer then before.

Otacon straightened up, quickly taking his arm from Meryl's grasp, "Are we ready to go?" he asked, as if nothing had even happened.

Snake nodded once, "I'm driving."

And that was that. Meryl couldn't deny the fact that the drive back towards the city was filled with tension, but she was too relieved that Snake had seen sense before doing something he would later regret (and she knew he would regret it) to let the stress overwhelm her.

They didn't travel much further - for which she was grateful - before Snake was pulling the car into a cosy looking hotel whose extravagant wooden notice read 'Oakwood'.

"Thank God it's not one of those seedy little motels" she muttered, noticing the line of three golden stars under the name.

Snake smirked, "That's the first sort of place they'd think to look. The Mets seem to be under the impression that we're your everyday branch of criminals, sending only _four_ men…"

Meryl ignored his little rant, craning her neck to examine the reception area. "Is it open?" The sun had only just begun to rise in the distance, and Meryl couldn't see any movement inside.

"Twenty-four seven" Snake confirmed, switching off the engine as he pulled into a marked parking spot facing east. Meryl was slightly dazzled by the sight of the pinkish horizon, and found herself wondering why she'd never thought to pay attention to the sunrise before. "Otacon, you'll have to go inside and book the rooms. I don't want anyone seeing Meryl or myself – as far as we know, no one's after you" he added.

Otacon nodded, "Pay with cash?"

"Of course. Here"

Meryl watched the transaction silently, a knot of worry tightening in her stomach. "Are we all sharing?" she asked as casually as she could.

Both men paused, looking from her to each other questioningly. Meryl felt her cheeks redden with annoyance. She _was_ a _woman_, for heavens sake. She didn't want to bunk up with two men – what would people think!

"Best get two rooms then" Snake tittered, "Make them next to each other if you can. We'll need fake names again... Otacon, as of now you're Christopher Randolph. My younger brother. Meryl, you're Debbie. I'm... John."

"Right" 'Chris' and 'Debbie' said in unison.

Otacon stepped from the car (he was in the back this time) and quietly closed it behind him. They watched in silence as he entered the reception and disappeared through the hazy glass.

Meryl's hands twisted in her lap. "Do you have idea what we should do next?"

Snake shook his head, "But I'm used to playing it by ear. Things rarely go to plan when I'm involved…" he told her.

Meryl sighed heavily and watched the sun slowly come into view. Honestly, she felt a little more confident now she knew they had a place to rest and eat. But Snake's behaviour earlier had left her more then shaken. She was beginning to think about how much she really knew about Snake. Legends were one thing – but he'd said so himself that the real thing never measured up. It was as if a veil were being lifted and Meryl was finally able to look at Snake as a person.

She wasn't too sure that she liked what she was seeing. Perhaps her epiphany back in Alaska had been the result of sleep deprivation. She couldn't imagine a man like Snake ever needing someone like her…

Otacon suddenly appeared in front of the car again, waving two sets of keys at the pair. Without a word, Snake opened the car door and stepped out with Meryl following suit.

"Two rooms, each with two single beds. I think it's a family suite or something, they share a bathroom…"

Snake nodded in approval, "Good. Now grab a bag and let's get inside… we'll have to do something about the car…"

"My car, why?" Otacon's voice was suddenly pained.

Snake rolled his eyes, "I don't want it being linked to the airport – it was probably caught on CCTV"

"Oh" Otacon sighed, "'Course…"

Snake threw his bag over his shoulder and pocketed Otacon's keys, "I'll deal with it when we're settled… if we don't get killed, I'll buy you a knew one"

Meryl laughed at how casually Snake commented on their potential demise. If they didn't get killed there were a thousand things she'd want to be doing, things she'd never even thought about before, ranging from eating a whole tub of chocolate ice cream without worrying about the calories, to sky diving and swimming with dolphins. That was what people embracing life did, wasn't it?

Perhaps, if they weren't killed, she and Snake could disappear to the Caribbean somewhere and try their new life again.

The thought caused an odd pang somewhere in her chest, one she tried to ignore as Snake opened the door overlooking the car-park to Room 12A. The hotel was set out like the motel's she'd seen in movies, with the rooms circling the parking lot and an outside staircase leading to the second floor. Fortunately, the inside didn't disappoint as Meryl entered and looked about. There was a small kitchen area directly beside the entrance, complete with a round wooden table and chairs. The bedroom was separated by a thin wall in front of them, and the door to their left led into the shared bathroom. The carpet was an inviting cream colour, the walls painted soft yellow with curtains to match; it was warm and clean and as appealing as Meryl's own bedroom had been. Dumping her bags on the table as Snake bolted the door shut, she threw herself onto one of the chairs and sighed.

"It's nice" she commented, not bothering to hide her surprise.

Otacon nodded, "A little small. This is one of those hotels designed for short-stays. Travellers and such"

"How long did you book the room for?" Snake asked, opening the bathroom door and looking inside.

"They had a five day maximum. We won't be here long though will we?"

Meryl kicked off her boots and rubbed her suddenly aching feet, "More running?"

Snake re-entered the small kitchen and grunted. Of course they'd keep running. They didn't have much of a choice at the moment. With no leads to follow and no one they trusted to help them, what else could they do?

"Fine" Meryl muttered, standing up to walk past Snake and into the bathroom, "I call first dibs on the shower, now who's making breakfast?"

"Do we even _have_ food?" she heard Otacon query as she tested the hot water.

Closing the door and stripping down quickly, she stepped beneath the warm rivulets of water and decided not to think about anything else for the next twenty minutes. Once she was washed, fed and refreshed she could begin to think again. No doubt Snake needed to take a break too. She'd been following his lead the entire way, and she wanted to be as ready as possible for whatever came next.

At least it seemed that they were finally on even ground now – in the sense that neither of them had a clue what to do.

* * *

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

So sorry for the long update. I'm still not 100 percent, which is why this chapter and the last might not have been to the greatest standard. I'm only awake for about 8 hours a day, so it's tough work! Thanks for the reviews and support for this story, I promise, it won't disppoint... at least, I hope so :s


	10. Promises

Chapter Ten

Promises 

The following few hours passed in something of a blur for Meryl. The hot shower had worked too effectively in helping her to wind down and she'd fallen into a deep sleep (the first in days) only minutes after changing into fresh clothes and lying on the soft mattress of her single bed. She'd only stirred once, when she'd felt the sheets moving and wrapping themselves tightly around her body. For a second, she could have sworn she'd felt a hand press itself against her cheek as she'd mumbled something incoherent. It had been too dark to see clearly, but the familiar woody smell had put her at ease and she'd returned to her slumber.

Now she was awake, still feeling a little groggy and naturally, a little grumpy, Meryl made her way through the small bedroom to the tiny living area that extended into the kitchen. Otacon was happily chewing on a sandwich as she entered. Snake was stretched out on the two-seated sofa that he'd pulled away from the wall to face the door, his hands interlinked over his eyes.

Meryl motioned to Otacon, asking if he was asleep. He shrugged in response, chewing his mouthful contentedly. Meryl crept to Snake's side and peered beneath his hands, gently nudging the foot that he had left resting on the ground. Snake snorted, but barely moved.

"Why didn't he sleep in the bedroom?" she queried out loud, forgetting Otacon was behind her.

"Manners, I think" the scientist replied quietly, "Or he was guarding the front door"

Meryl huffed, joining Otacon at the kitchen table. "He needs to get some proper rest too"

"Like I could sleep with you snoring your head off"

The sound of Snake's voice made both of them jump… and Meryl blush. "I do not _snore_" she grumped, pulling a piece of bread and some butter towards her. Otacon was grinning beside her, but eyed the knife in her hand wearily.

"She's right though Snake. You'll need to be on top form, why not catch some real sleep. We've nothing else to do… you dumped the car and I've hacked the local police files – probably secured myself a life sentence, erasing you're 'wanted' status like that…"

Snake barked a laugh, "That should be the least of your worries"

Meryl quickly swallowed her mouthful of buttered bread and frowned, "You did all that while I was asleep?"

Otacon nodded, "It's quite simple really. I used to peruse police files as a teenager, just as a hobby"

Meryl stared, "… You couldn't get a girlfriend huh?"

The sandy-haired man laughed light-heartedly, though his cheeks pinked as he spoke. "I was always curious. I spent a lot of time on sites about conspiracy theories. I always wanted to be the one to find incriminating files and expose them to the world… too many movies as a kid, I think"

Meryl chuckled along with him, not noticing Snake rise from the sofa and stomp into the bedroom until the door slammed behind him.

Otacon stared at the door for a moment, wide-eyed. "I think we upset him…"

"Nah" Meryl shook her head, "He's always like that."

"I'll take your word on that"

Another thud was heard from the bedroom. Meryl slowly chewed her bread, savouring the sweet taste of butter, and waited. No more noise came from the bedroom, not a grunt or a snore. Snake was _too_ quiet in fact. She guessed he was probably sulking over something; probably because she and Otacon were talking while he tried to sleep. With a sigh, she licked her fingers clean and wandered into the bathroom to wash up. If Snake wanted to sleep he should use the bedrooms like a normal person… of course, she'd wait to point it out until he was in a better mood.

Meryl grimaced as she looked up from the sink and into the mirror. She was pale and drawn, with dark circles under her eyes. Her hair was a mess of unruly curls, thanks to her falling asleep with it still damp from the shower. She'd need to get some of her things from her bag before she could even begin to sort out the mess she was in.

She exited the bathroom, glancing at Hal – now on a small laptop typing away – and crossed into the bedroom, opening the door silently.

The curtains were still pulled to, lighting the room with a faint yellow-orange glow. She didn't have a clue what the time was but guessed that it was around late afternoon. Snake was lying on the bed she'd used earlier, his boots thrown haphazardly across the room. With a roll of her eyes, Meryl realised that was what had made the thumping noise she'd heard earlier.

Their bags were at the bottom of their beds. Meryl ignored them, creeping up beside Snake's bed as if approaching a wild animal. Her brain quietly reminded her that Snake _was _a wild animal in his own right, and trying to sneak up on him in his sleep never went well – as she'd learned previously.

Slowly, he opened one eye. Meryl couldn't help grinning sheepishly, even as he fixed her with a piercing glare.

"Do you want something?"

She shrugged, "My things. I don't think the homeless look suits me well"

"It doesn't really matter how you look" Snake answered.

Meryl felt a sudden burst of hurt at his words, though she wasn't entirely sure why. She'd admitted herself that she wasn't the type of girl to care about her appearance. She'd only ever worn make-up once in her life, and even then it had felt like someone had plastered a mask on her face. The mascara had made her eyes red and she'd never got the knack of keeping lipstick on for more then half an hour (where the hell did it go anyway?).

She exhaled nosily through her nose and stomped round to her bag, "You might be okay with looking like you just climbed out of a dumpster, but I consider my personal hygiene a priority thank you!"

And with that, she stormed from the room (slamming the door as she went) and ignored Otacon as she re-entered the bathroom. Throwing her bag on the tiles, she opened the zip with more force then was necessary, and began rummaging through her things.

"Git" she muttered under her breath, "'Doesn't matter how you look'. Let's just see, shall we!"

Hoping Otacon was oblivious to her little rant, Meryl turned on the hot water and once again prepared to shower. She used her own toiletries (which she'd bought in the village with Craig) and indulged herself in the sweet smelling shampoo's and body lotions. Deciding it wouldn't hurt to go the extra mile, she took her time shaving her legs and conditioning her hair. It had the desired effect of making her feel a lot more womanly and less like a hobo. She dressed very carefully when she stepped from the shower. Her normal attire consisted of plain cargo's and unflattering shirts. This time, she picked out her new pair of tanned chino's and a well-fitted white top. Her underwear was the same as ever, but she didn't plan on running around the place without her clothes on anyway. What difference would it make.

Quickly cleaning up the slight mess she'd made, she bundled her things back in her bag and turned to the small mirror above the sink. She could really use a hairdryer, but had to make do with towel-drying the red mess of locks. It was just long enough now for her to pull it into a small pony-tail, letting some of the shorter pieces of hair fall about her face in loose curls. Grinning at herself in the mirror, she rummaged for her toothbrush at the bottom of the bag, only to curse loudly when she realised it wasn't there.

Why was it that whenever she packed a bag, she always forgot her toothbrush! Resentfully searching the bathroom's cupboards, she found a complimentary brush wrapped in plastic and pulled it open. It was cheap and brittle, but did the job. Stepping from the bathroom, she lifted her bag over her shoulder and made for the bedroom, grinning to herself.

"You look nice Meryl.."

She blinked. Looking over her shoulder she saw Otacon glance away, his cheeks reddening again.

"Thanks" she breathed. She hadn't expected Otacon to notice at all!

"You just seemed upset earlier… I thought… I'm just being nice" he stammered.

Meryl's smile brightened on her face. She found Otacon's bashfulness quite charming. She let out a tinkering laugh and nodded, "At least someone pays attention."

Otacon returned her smile and looked from her to the bedroom, "I think he does… he just doesn't know how to show it"

This time, it was Meryl's turn to blush. Otacon quickly snapped his laptop shut and stood from his chair, stretching his legs. "You know, I think I could use a few hours sleep. I'll be in the room next door…"

"Subtle" Meryl muttered under her breath as the adjoining door closed quietly.

Taking a deep breath, she opened the bedroom door and stalked inside. Careful not to look at Snake directly, she loudly threw the bag on the floor and perched herself on the edge of the bed. When Snake made no sound or movement, she glanced in his direction.

He was still feigning sleep.

Meryl cleared her throat loudly, "Otacon's next door. He's sleeping" she told him.

"Mm-hmm" was Snake's reply.

Meryl waited, tapping her bare feet against the carpet. Sat in the silence of the bedroom she couldn't ignore the creeping anxiety building up in her chest.

"Snake?" she asked quietly.

"John" he reminded her, causing Meryl to smile beside herself. Normal names like 'David' and 'John' just didn't sit right with someone like him.

"Right" she sighed, "Aren't you… in the least bit worried?"

"Of course I am" he shrugged, sounding anything but.

Meryl's eyebrows rose in disbelief, "You don't _seem _worried…"

This time, Snake finally uncovered his eyes and looked at her. His face was impassive, his body relaxed against the mattress. She stood under his gaze for a few moments as he seemed to be coming to a decision-

He held out his hand and gestured for Meryl to join him.

It was an action most unlike him, but Meryl barely thought of his uncharacteristic behaviour as she stood up and entwined her fingers with his. Her movements were simply on instinct. Snake didn't often offer physical contact, so naturally she leapt at every chance she had to be close to him. He pulled her down towards him, and before Meryl realised what was happening, she found herself pressed against his chest as his arms engulfed her in a tight squeeze.

"Trust me Meryl. I'm worried" was all he murmured.

The young woman sighed deeply, "You're so… hard to read" she protested, "I never know what you're thinking…"

Snake laughed dryly, "You don't want to know"

"Maybe I do"

"You really want to know what goes on in the mind of a killer"

Meryl winced at his words. He spoke with such… sincerity.

"You're a soldier, not a killer. There's a difference" she whispered against his chest.

Snake didn't reply. His thumb started brushing against her bare arm, causing Meryl to shiver as small shocks wound up her arm at each stroke. Snake bent his head forward, resting his chin on Meryl's.

"You look nice by the way"

Meryl sniggered, "Thanks for noticing. Otacon thought so to"

Snake let out a quiet growl as the grip of his arms grew tighter. Meryl laughed as she suddenly realised what his behaviour had been about earlier.

"Snake… are you _jealous!?_"

He didn't reply. Meryl glanced up to see him scowling darkly at the ceiling, causing another short burst of laughter to leave her lips. "You're so… bizarre" she chuckled. She knew Snake had a strange protective (almost possessive) bond with her. But even as she remembered his behaviour when he'd seen her with Craig in the village, it was hard to believe that he could possibly feel jealousy of _Otacon_.

"Meryl…" he finally muttered, his voice sounding grave, "I should never have let you stay with me"

Suddenly, all the light-hearted amusement Meryl felt drained away in a matter of seconds. "What… do you mean?" Did he really not want her around? Was she more trouble then she was worth? Meryl didn't think she'd slowed him down much since they'd been force to go on the run. Perhaps she was wrong…

When Snake didn't answer, Meryl sat up on the edge of the bed. Unwinding his arms from her shoulders. "Snake…"

His chest heaved as he sighed heavily, pushing himself up onto his elbows. "I thought it would work. I really did… but I understand now. Why it's been so hard. Men like me can't live normal lives Meryl. And the people we get involved with… they just end up getting hurt. Or worse…"

Meryl blinked at him in confusion, "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying… I can take you somewhere safe. Give you a new identity. You won't have to keep running with me. I can take care of this myself. When it's over, I'll do the same for Otacon. I'll let Campbell now where you are so he can find you too…"

Had she not been so shocked by Snake's words, Meryl would have thought the whole thing was a sick joke of his. "And what about you, when it's over, where will you go?"

The hope that he would find her again was quickly extinguished as his eyes darkened considerably.

"As long as you're safe…" he told her, his voice calm. Too calm.

Meryl jumped from the bed, twisting round to face Snake even as her eyes filled with hot tears.

"No!" she shouted, "You're so full of bull, you know that? What is it with you and this lone wanderer thing anyway? You don't have to live that way!"

"Yes I do" Snake ground out. Meryl ignored the warning gleam of his eye as she continued her tirade.

"Why? Is it easier to keep running without looking back? Having no one to hold you down? Am I that impossible to live with?" she shrieked, not caring that her cheeks were already wet with tears. She hated crying. But she hated crying in front of Snake even more. Especially since he was the cause of her tears.

Snake leapt from the bed and made towards the door, "Don't be ridiculous" he griped, as if dealing with a tantrum throwing child. Meryl no longer cared that she was probably acting that way as she felt panic rise in her chest as Snake made to leave. Something told her that if Snake walked away from her now, she'd never get him back.

Sprinting forward to block his way, she placed both hands on his shoulders and was forced to stand of the tips of her toes to reach his face. For the second time in the past few days, she kissed him. Meryl tried to use as much heat and fervour as she had before, but silent sobs were still ripping their way from her chest as Snake stood impassive beneath her touch. He placed a hand on her cheek and pushed her away. Meryl was too lost in her despair to feel embarrassed by the rejection.

"I've got nothing to offer you Meryl… you don't even know how doomed we are…"

"I don't care" she gasped, keeping her hands pinned to his shoulders, "I love you."

Snake's expression visibly shifted at her words. His eyes widened in shock as his mouth fell slack, as if he were waiting for words to form by themselves and fall from his tongue. Meryl suddenly understood that she must have been the first person to ever tell him something like that… and mean it.

She waited, refusing to move as Snake seemed to consider the strength of her words. Her sobs subsided and the tears stopped flowing, but she didn't dare take her hands from him to wipe the evidence of her sorrow from her cheeks.

Eventually, she realised she had to say something. Snake was very rarely caught off-guard, and when he was it didn't take long for him to recover.

"Snake, tell me what you felt when I was shot by Sniper Wolf. When you thought I was dead in the hanger on Shadow Moses"

Snake emitted a low hiss at the unexpected question, his expression darkening with memory.

"What's that got to do with anything?" he snapped.

"You never told me" Meryl continued, desperate to keep him talking. To just keep him in the room with her for a little longer, "I know there's a lot you never told me about yourself, or what happened on Moses after I was… taken-"

"Meryl-"

"You said I was beautiful once" she whispered now, her hope of changing his mind slowly fading away, "Did you mean it?"

Snake paused. One hand came up to her upper-arm and traced the dark scar that marred her skin. Sniper Wolf had been an excellent shot, she'd incapacitated Meryl quite effectively without causing too much damage. The blood loss had been exceptional though… she wondered if Snake remembered how she'd lain on the cold ground, waiting to die as he watched.

"Of course I meant it" he whispered huskily, "I meant everything I told you…"

"Then keep your promise" Meryl near begged, "Stay with me. We'll go away, somewhere no one will find us… I don't want to be alone Snake…"

Snake closed his eyes, his expression pained now. "What if I told you… we didn't have much time together even if we escape whoever's after us. What if we only had a day, a week…."

"Snake… I'm keeping you here because every second I spend with you is important to me. I don't care how long we have… as long as you want me too"

It was all she had to say. It was as if something finally gave way as Snake lurched forward, his arms forcing Meryl up against his body so their wasn't a hairsbreadth of space between them. This time, he initiated the kiss. It burned Meryl's mouth as his hands came up to her face to his. Meryl suddenly found herself stumbling backwards as they fell onto the single bed, his hands scorched her skin as they brushed their was down her sides, coming back to lift her shirt from over her head.

Meryl's last coherent thought as Snake groaned against her mouth as was the rather dizzy observation… that sometimes it paid to look nice.

**Disclaimer: I own no rights to Metal Gear or it's characters etc.**


	11. Bad News

Chapter Eleven

Bad News

Otacon typed absentmindedly on his laptop. The blare of the small television at the foot of his bed was little more then background noise as he explored the net. Initially, he'd been trying to discover any information that might help himself, Snake and Meryl against their unknown foe. Just like Snake, he had no idea who was behind the events of the last few days. He'd attempted to dig up any information on the two persons Snake had met in the village in Alaska, but so far to no avail.

It had been shortly after the sun had set that he'd decided to take a break, and was now downloading a new anime series that looked fairly interesting. Waiting for it to complete, he picked up the remote and began flicking through various stations. As always, there was little of interest on. Settling for a news station he turned back to his laptop and continued surfing for more information.

"_-local police state that both suspects are armed and dangerous. They must not be approached under any circumstances-"_

Otacon glanced up at the attractive woman on the T.V just in time to see a grainy image from a security system's CCTV display a man and woman crossing a busy looking mall.

"_So far only__ one victim had been linked to the pair. A man in his thirties who worked at the airport was found critically injured and was pronounced dead on arrival in hospital-"_

Otacon's jaw fell open (surprising him since he thought that sort of thing only happened in anime's). Snapping it shut, he pushed the laptop from his legs and shuffled closer to the television, inspecting the close-up more carefully.

What he'd though had been a mall was in fact an airport. The CCTV froze on the image of two figures walking behind the apparent victim, the female with her arm clinging to the males side.

"Oh no… oh no, oh no, oh no" Otacon spluttered. The pictures were in black and white and near unidentifiable. But it was enough for him to recognise Snake and Meryl's figures even from behind.

He was up and off his bed in seconds, hurrying through the shared bathroom while he called Snake and Meryl's names. He flung the bedroom door open without knocking, assuming to find them both asleep. He froze, his mouth still open in an unuttered warning.

"Where's the fire?" muttered Snake, who was in the middle of zipping up his flies. Meryl was lying under the beds covers, having pulled them right up to her chin. The blush was still evident across her forehead.

"Hi…" she mumbled, shooting a worried look in Snake's direction.

Otacon managed to pull himself together, choosing to repress what he'd just witnessed and began explaining their new predicament.

"We're in trouble. Turn on your T.V!"

Snake obliged, sneakily throwing Meryl his shirt as he went. Otacon kept his eyes pinned on the television screen out of courtesy as he told Snake which channel to tune it to. Meryl quickly pulled the material over her head and felt around under the sheets for her bottoms. Eventually she spied them thrown over the nearby table and grimaced. Tucking the cover around her waist, she sat up on the bed and paid attention to the television, glad Otacon was gentlemanly enough to not look her way.

"What is it?" she asked as Snake froze.

It only took seconds to figure out what was wrong. Meryl gasped when her eyes fell upon the images flickering across the television screen, a feeling of dread and terror coursing through her veins. Suddenly, her mind was full of images of police cars and helicopters appearing outside their room. Surely they were done for now, with their faces plastered all over the television.

"It doesn't make sense… we didn't kill anyone" Snake was telling Otacon.

"The report says it was gunshot wounds…"

"He disappeared before we escaped that room… it wasn't us… someone's framing us for murder…"

"But why?"

"To flush us out perhaps? Turn up the heat and hope we make a mistake trying to escape?"

"Seems like an awful lot of trouble to go through. What if its punishment for letting you two escape? What was that guys name anyway?"

"Don't know. Don't care… but we need to figure out our next move, fast."

"If only we knew how this person was tracking you, it might give us some clue as to who we're dealing with! Or at least help us slip by unnoticed"

The conversation sounded as if it were coming to Meryl through a long tunnel. Snake and Otacon's voices were hazy, and she couldn't keep up with what they were saying. The reporter had moved onto some other event in the city, but Meryl couldn't tear her eyes from the television. Every move they made just led them into more trouble. And it felt as if each time they ran, she was getting further and further from her uncle.

"We might have to leave the country. Otacon, you have family in Europe, right?"

"England, yes. But… we're not exactly on the best of terms. I might not even be able to find them-"

"_Europe_? _England_?" Meryl stammered, finally able to look from the screen to Snake's face, "We're running that far? How will that help us find who's tracking us?"

Snake avoided her gaze, "It won't. But it's safer then here, for now"

Meryl frowned, the sense of contentment and comfort she'd felt only minutes ago quickly drained away, "Safe for who, exactly?"

Otacon quickly backed out of the room as Snake growled, muttering something about preparing his things.

"Don't start this again, not now!" Snake snapped, pulling a bag up onto the bed and throwing Meryl her clothes.

She caught them in her hands, clenching her fingers into fists around the material she forced herself to refrain from shouting and screaming – refusing to leave. "But… what about…"

"What about what?" Snake grumbled under his breath.

Meryl's breath hitched in her throat. Surely he knew what she was asking. How could he be so eager to send her away now?

Feeling all the fight leave her body as Snake zipped up his bag and threw it beside the door, she let her shoulders slump, her eyes focusing on her lap. Obviously she'd assumed too much. The past few hours had been little more then a distraction for Snake, he had never really intended on changing his plans for her.

"What are you going to do?" she asked quietly, not wanting to have think about Snake on his own. About herself being left alone. Again.

The edge of the bed dipped, and Meryl saw Snake's hand rise up to cup her chin in his palm. He pulled her face up to look at him directly, and Meryl found herself glad that she'd managed to fight back the hurt tears this time. He sighed. Meryl noticed that his eyes looked a warm grey in the light of the television screen, no longer icy blue.

"I'm coming with you" he told her, matter-of-factly.

Snake couldn't suppress the satisfied grin as Meryl's eyes widened with surprise, "You are?" she breathed.

He barked a laugh, "And leave you and Otacon alone with no one to keep you in line? Do I look stupid? I know you'll go running off and getting yourself in trouble the minute I turn my back. Besides… you two get along a little to well for my liking"

This time, it was Meryl's turn to laugh. So maybe his reasons for staying weren't quite what she wanted to hear… but it was better then nothing! "You'll really stay with us? Even if it means hiding for the rest of our lives?"

Something flickered in Snake's eyes then. An unreadable emotion that wasn't quite regret or sadness. To Meryl, he looked faintly guilty…

Something else quickly occurred to her, "My Uncle!" she gasped, "Wait, we can't leave until we know he's safe!"

Snake's hand fell away from her face as he ran his hands through his hair. It had grown rather wildly of late, and tangled around his ears in a misshapen mess. "Campbell…" he muttered.

He knew that if the Colonel were in the room with him, he'd be telling Snake to take Meryl and run. To keep her safe and forget about him. Snake had always suspected on Moses that Campbell was always hoping he would keep his niece safe. Snake assumed it was exactly why the Colonel had sent him on the mission to Moses, even though he was retired. Even though they were friends. Meryl's life had meant enough to cause the small betrayal of trust between them as Campbell sent armed men to bring Snake in and send him into what should have been a suicide mission (had things gone the Pentagon's way).

Campbell trusted Snake with his only nieces life. And now Snake finally found himself understanding those ties to other people that he never thought he'd get to experience, that he never thought he was capable of experiencing. Love, trust, friendship. He knew then and there that Meryl meant more to him then his own personal mission – to hunt down whoever was hunting him and make them pay. He was willing to hide, to forget the Snake and become a man, if it meant keeping her safe. If it meant keeping her at all.

But Meryl would not forget her uncle so easily.

"We have to find him first Snake" she told him, her voice steady and calm and filled with assurance. He knew there would be no way to convince her to run and condemn her Uncle to possible death.

So… what to do?

"…Otacon. I need to speak with him for a moment. Get dressed while I'm gone, okay"

Meryl nodded, "What are we going to do?"

"I'm on it. Trust me"

For some unfathomable reason to Snake, Meryl suddenly grinned at his words. "No problem" she nodded.

Snake rose from the edge of the bed as Meryl slid from beneath the covers. His shirt fell to the tops of her thighs, and he couldn't help but notice how good it looked on her. Leaning down slightly, he wrapped his arm around Meryl's waist and pulled her toward him. The kiss he gave her was soft and lingering, and would have gone on for much longer if he hadn't reminded himself to pull away.

Meryl was slightly flushed as he left the room. Smiling regardless of the new danger they were all in, she collected her clothes that were strewn around the room and began to dress.

In Otacon's room, Snake was standing over the scientist as he searched on his laptop for more information regarding the murder at the airport.

"His body was just dumped down a side alley"

"The same me and Meryl escaped from?"

"No, this one was round the back of the airport. I got into the coroner's report, it was finished only an hour ago. Says he died from a single shot to the head"

"They must have used a silencer. No one reported hearing a gunshot did they?"

"Not as far as I've found. But it's an airport, and the city is pretty busy… the noise might have covered it"

"No. Someone would have heard"

Otacon scratched his chin idly, feeling the stubble he hadn't shaved in days. "You know what it means, don't you?" he asked, glancing up at Snake's face. The dark glow of his eyes was enough to confirm that Snake had already figured it out. They were not as safe in Vegas as they'd thought. The police were one thing, but this… assassin… would be after them too.

"Otacon," Snake spoke so suddenly and with such force that the younger man jumped, looking around wildly for some kind of danger that had caused the abrupt change in tone, "Do you have a pair of scissors?"

"Erm… I think I saw some in the bathroom… why?"

Snake's smile was grim and humourless as he crossed the room. "Have you ever cut someone's hair before…?"

* * *

Meryl sighed, kicking her heels against the bed. Snake had been gone for half an hour and the longer she sat waiting for him the worse she began to feel. It was easy to forget the last few hours as she sat alone in the dark room, surrounded by silence. It was when she'd jumped for the tenth time at a passing car that she decided to give up waiting and wandered into the main living area. Snake was nowhere in sight, but she could see the bathroom light was on through the crack at the bottom of the door. Slowly walking forward, keeping her footsteps light, she listened as the sounds of two male voices reached her ears.

"Maybe Meryl would be better at this then me"

"It doesn't matter, just don't cut my ear off"

"Okay, but she's not going to like it when you tell her what you're up to"

"Who says I'm going to tell her?"

"Snake, you can't just go off on your own. You know she'll worry! Besides, it's not fair to leave her after… well, after… you know…"

Meryl heard Snake's faint laugh and imagined how Otacon would be pink in the cheeks by now. She too felt her own face warm as she remembered his shocked expression when he'd walked in on herself and Snake earlier. But what were they talking about? Snake didn't say anything about going somewhere alone!

"As long as I won't be easily recognised. I just need to have a look around, speak to a few people and be back before sunrise"

"… Meryl won't like it. _I_ don't like it. What if someone's waiting for you?"

"Then it's better I'm alone" was Snake short reply. Meryl felt her stomach squirm uncomfortably at the reminder of how she and Otacon were little more then baggage, slowing him down. But Otacon _was _right. Meryl did not like the sound of Snake's plan.

"I think I'm done"

"Good"

The sound of metal being dropped on the porcelain surfaces echoed around the small bathroom. Meryl had just backed away from the door when it swung open. She made sure to use her fiercest expression when Snake stopped in the doorway. He sighed wearily, flicking on the room's light-switch.

"You heard?"

Meryl nodded, not before her lips parted in surprise at the new man in front of her. She'd forgotten how Snake had looked on Moses – clean-shaven with shorter hair. She'd been so used to the rougher looking Snake that seeing him again… it made him younger, not quite as intimidating. He'd also changed his clothes, borrowing what appeared to be one of Otacon's shirts. Taking a step back, Meryl was able to take in the whole picture. Snake looked less like a man on the run, and more like your everyday tourist in a white button up shirt, black pants and shoes with his hair cropped and brushed back.

Snake fidgeted under her scrutiny, unsure of what to make of Meryl's silence. Wasn't this the part where she shouted and refused to let him go alone? He had thought he'd have to lock her in the bedroom over night to stop her sneaking out after him.

Otacon suddenly appeared over Snake's shoulder. He blushed as he caught Meryl's eye, but she was too stunned to react.

"Apparently, I have the skills of a hairdresser as well as a scientist…" he mumbled, made uncomfortable by the silence. The sound of his voice was enough to snap Meryl from her revere.

"Oh yes. I'm sure a haircut is just what will save us now!" she snapped, her anger aimed at Snake more then his apparent 'partner in crime'.

"Meryl" Snake ground warningly.

"What? What do you want me to say? I'll sit here and twiddle my thumbs while you go and get yourself killed. Or worse!"

She was ranting now, throwing her arms into the air and pacing the room with such rage that neither man had the nerve to point out the contradiction in what she'd just said. That is, until Snake remembered there were certainly some things worse then death.

"Would you keep your voice down!" he commanded, "You're wasting your time by complaining, so we can do this the easy way, or _my_ way"

His face contorted into an unfamiliar mask, the mask of a soldier ready to do whatever was necessary for his mission. Meryl faltered for only a second before placing her arms over her chest and lifting her chin into the air. She glared at him, "I won't just sit here and do nothing while your out there- Hey! Snake! Put me _down_!"

The second she'd began to speak, Snake had crossed the room and scoped her up over his shoulder before heading toward the bedroom. He ignored her twisting and attempts to kick his joints and… other places. It only took seconds to drop her on the bed and back out of the room before she could find her feet.

He twisted the key in the lock and stepped back from the door.

"I didn't want to have to do this!" he shouted, ignoring the thumping and cursing coming from the opposite side of the door.

When he turned around, Otacon was leaning against the wall, eyeing the door nervously. "She can't kick that down can she?"

Snake paused and thought for a second before moving over to the sofa and dragging it in front of the door. He knew the windows were already locked and the glass was pretty solid. Hopefully, Meryl wouldn't go as far as to smash the window. Just to make sure, he rapped on the door to get her attention.

"Don't even think about going through the window Meryl. You'll just bring unwanted attention to us and then we'll be screwed"

The thumping went silent for a second, and Snake could almost see the frustrated expression she'd be wearing on her face by now. A sudden growl and final round of pounding against the door told Snake that she'd given up. He looked at Otacon grimly. "It's for her own good"

Otacon nodded, still decidedly uncomfortable with the entire situation but unwilling to say anything just then. Besides, he knew Snake was trying to convince himself as much as anybody else. The man did have a conscious after all. It just rarely chose to show itself.

Snake held the key for Otacon to pocket. "If I'm not back by sunrise, take her and go to England… keep her safe Otacon. You do that and we're even"

The scientist blinked in surprise, his eyebrows raised at the sincerity in Snake's voice. "You'll be back" he stammered, trying to sound reassuring. Snake shrugged, as if he didn't really care either way. But they both knew better then to believe his bravado.

"She'll need convincing to leave. Tell her… tell her you've got contacts in England who can help you trace her uncle. She'll leave for him"

"And when she realises I don't…"

"Take her to Mei Ling. Take her anywhere… just keep her out of harms way. I don't care what you have to do. Lie through your teeth if needs be."

Otacon nodded and hoped his expression was convincing. He knew Meryl would never be able to stay put for long. She was more like Snake then either of them realised. But if his promise was a comfort to Snake, then he'd do it. Unsure whether the soldier believed him or not, he followed him to the door, preparing to lock it behind him.

"Wait! Are you even armed?"

Snake grinned and patted his side, "She didn't even see me pick it up. Goodbye Otacon"

"See you soon. Okay?"

Snake nodded, and quickly slipped from the door. Otacon hurriedly locked it behind him and turned to face the room, slumping against the frame.

The knowledge that he might never see Snake again was almost too much to fully register in his mind. It left him with the urge to do what he always did when things got too hard, too real. He wanted to run from the room and never look back.

"If only…" he murmured.

If only he didn't owe Snake his life. If only the woman in the bedroom didn't remind him so much of _her_. The one person he'd cared about and left, so long ago. _E.E… _karma had a way of coming back when you least expected it.

"You'd better come back Snake. Without you, I think we're both done for…"

* * *

**Disclaimer: I own no rights to Metal Gear, none at all.**

**Chapter 12 will be up soon, by the end of the week hopefully! I'm so much happier with these chapter's, and thanks to my regular reviewers who are kind enough to keep reading and reviewing! **


	12. Choices

Chapter Twelve

Choices

Meryl had spent the past hour pacing the room. She'd considered everything to escape, even trying to pick the lock with a piece of wire she'd pulled free from the springs in the mattresses. She knew she could just shoot the lock of the door (Snake had left his weapons behind after all – something that had made her extremely anxious when she'd first realised), but the noise and damage – like smashing a window – would bring to much attention from outside. She'd happily risk her own life to go after Snake, but she couldn't live with herself if her recklessness put Otacon in danger too. Besides, she had no idea where Snake was now. If she left the room she'd never be able to find him. All she could do was sit tight and wait for his return.

Throwing herself face down on the bed, Meryl groaned into the pillows and closed her eyes. She was hungry and she was tired, both of these factors were making her increasingly frustrated. She doubted Otacon would open the door and let her get something to eat though, he was smart enough to know she'd easily escape.

'Escape' Meryl scoffed. She was being held prisoner by her own friends, by people she trusted. The whole situations was so backwards it was almost funny. Of course, the fact that it made her feel like no more then a vulnerable little girl removed all humour from the situation. She'd thought, especially after she'd been the one to help them escape the airport, that Snake was finally seeing her as more then a 'rookie', as 'Campbell's niece'. Apparantely, she'd been wrong. After all, they had just spent the better part of the afternoon… 'together'.

Meryl winced. It hadn't exactly been planned or anything… their sleeping together had been the result of emotions running, a month of pent up frustration… it was a… 'heat of the moment' sort of thing.

But she couldn't deny that fact that it had been… well, amazing! If a little… rushed.

The thought that it might have been their one and only time together made Meryl's stomach clench uncomfortably.

That was when the phone began to ring.

Meryl jumped, staring at the white cordless object beside the bed as she listened to it chime over and over. Who would be calling them? The hotel's reception desk? Perhaps they'd figured out who they were, they were testing to see if they were still in the room?

…Why wasn't Otacon _answering_? There was a phone in the living room too, it could be Snake!

Jumping from the bed, she crossed the room and picked up the receiver.

"…Hello?" she stammered. _What if it's not Snake?_

"_Is this Miss Silverburg?"_

The voice… it was so familiar.

"Who is this?" she said, making sure her voice sounded much more confident then she felt.

"_I thought you'd remember me. We met very recently… how disappointing"_

Of course!

"Craig!?" Meryl breathed, too shocked to feel any other emotion as the voice began to laugh as if they were old friends catching up.

"_You're very quick. It's surprising your boyfriend decided to leave you behind…"_

Meryl's blood froze in her veins. _They know._

"What do you want?" she demanded. Surely, if they had the telephone number, if they knew Snake had left, they'd just have to storm the hotel to capture Otacon and herself.

"_We want you to come for a little ride. There's a car beside reception. Come alone"_

"I can't" Meryl said quickly, "I'm…"

The voice laughed again, though this time it was bloodless and enough to send shivers down her spine. The man she'd met in the village had never been this… frightening. The voice was so cold, so callous.

"_If I were you, I'd do everything in your power to get to the car"_

"Why would I? Surely you don't think I'm stupid enough to just walk straight into your hands!?"

"_Stupid, no. But you're not heartless, are you? What if I told you we had something of yours. Something you desperately wanted to keep… alive?"_

Meryl thought her heart had stopped beating. She forced herself to keep breathing, to speak, "How… how do I know you can be trusted. You could be lying-"

A new voice suddenly broke over the phone.

"_Me… Meryl_…?"

"Uncle!" she gasped, her legs buckling beneath her. The voice was gone before it could say anything else and replaced with Craig's cruel tones.

"_Twenty minutes Meryl. I've been kind to your uncle… kind enough to let him live at least. If you're not in the car in twenty minutes, he dies. And I promise… it won't be quick"_

The line cut dead.

Meryl stared at the phone as if it were a living thing, a viper waiting to attack. She had to work to convince herself that the conversation had really just happened. Every part of her was trying to deny it, but she knew the truth. Her uncle's life rested in her hands. She didn't know what Craig wanted or what he would do. But it didn't matter. The image of the man who'd meant everything after her father had died, after her mother had drifted away from her, lost in depression…

There was no question about it. She couldn't wait for Snake. It had to be _now_.

Carefully replacing the phone, she moved to the door and pressed her ear against it, trying to listen for any sound Otacon was making on the other side. After a few seconds she heard the sound of running water and the toilet flushing.

'_Good. Otacon didn't hear anything'_

Quickly crossing the room, she pulled open the drawer of her bedside table and found the complimentary pens and notepad left by the hotel. She wrote a quick note, trying hard not to think about the fact that these might be the last words she'd ever say to Snake.

_Snake, I'm sorry. I really am. But they have my Uncle and they're going to kill him if I don't go to them. I don't know who they are or what they want, but Craig – the guy from Alaska - is working for them. It must be how they found us. Please don't be mad at Otacon. I don't plan on getting him hurt too. I hope you can forgive me, but I can't think of any other way._

_The past few weeks… were amazing._

_All my love, Meryl._

She stared at the last two sentences. Were they enough for him to know the truth of her feelings for him? It would have to be. She'd never get another chance to tell him.

Meryl glanced at her watch. Fifteen minutes…

Taking a deep breath, she folded the paper with her final message and placed it in her pocket. She went to her bags and slid a knife into her boot before making an attempt to hide a gun on her body. No doubt they'd search her, but if they found the gun then hopefully they'd assume she had no other weapon – leaving her at least with a knife for backup. Taking a deep breath along with a long look around the room, running over the brief memories she had from the place, she prepared herself for the worst.

This was it.

Meryl knocked the door firmly. "Otacon?" she called.

After a few minutes silence, his voice could be heard on the other side of the door.

"I'm not going to let you out. Snake would kill me!" then, as an afterthought, "…sorry!"

Meryl tried not to laugh, feeling hysteria bubbling beneath the surface. "Otacon. Please… I have to pee!"

She heard fidgeting on the other side of the door and knew she'd have to do better then that.

"Look. I know there's no point trying to go after Snake, I've no idea where he'll be. The best chance of seeing him again is to wait. But I _really_ need to use the bathroom. Please Hal, I'm not an animal! Don't make me go in the corner!"

Silence… and then the sound of a key being put into the lock. Meryl braced herself for what she was about to do. Stepping from the room, she made sure to at least look calm as Otacon pushed his glasses up his nose in what she knew was a nervous gesture.

"Thank you" she said, genuinely grateful. She knew Snake would have just made her go in the desk drawer or something.

"Make it quick… and don't tell him I let you out. The door's locked in my room too"

'_Damn' _Meryl thought.

Oh well. It looked like she was doing this the hard way.

Reaching into her pocket, she pulled out the folded paper and gave it to Otacon without a word. It wasn't until he looked at her quizzically that she spoke.

"Make sure Snake reads that. And… I'm sorry"

"For wha-"

Otacon didn't have time to finish his sentence. With one hard hit, Meryl's fist hit his temple and sent him crashing to the ground, where he lay motionless… unconscious.

Rubbing her fist, Meryl fought back the wave of tears threatening to overflow. She hated having to betray and hurt him. She really did like Otacon, he had such a warm aura about him it was hard not to. But she knew he'd never let her go, even to save her uncle.

"I'm sorry" she whispered once more.

And then she fled, not looking back.

Snake had made a quick round at the airport, looking for clues or anything out of the ordinary that might lead him to finding his dead contacts true killer. Thankfully, his new appearance didn't draw him any attention and he was able to quickly enter and leave the airport without arousing suspicion. Yet he hadn't found a single clue as to who had tried to set he and Meryl up; which was why he now found himself entering a very questionable underground club, heading straight for the one person he thought might give him some answers.

Diego Gold. A fake name, of course, but he was the man who'd been Snake's main contact – giving him the details of the men he had in position around the globe who helped people smuggle prohibited goods in and out of the country as well as around it.

He walked straight past the bar and towards the stairway, not even making eye contact with any of the workers. He passed a few burly looking men as he climbed the winding staircase, passing doors which surely hid from view less then legal acts then was permitted in a bar like the one he was in. He merely nodded as he caught their attention, flashing a wad of money if they looked a little too suspicious. Eventually he reached the ornate mahogany door he'd been aiming for and knocked loudly.

"Kelly, honey. You know you don't have to knock!"

The voice grew closer, and Snake guessed that Diego was in for quite a surprise when he opened the door. On the bright side, if Diego were expecting female company there was a good chance he was alone. Quickly glancing around to make sure no one was watching, he waited 'til the door in front of him opened a fraction before slamming back, hitting the man behind it in the face hard enough to send him flailing onto the floor. Sliding into the room, Snake slammed the door shut behind him and glowered.

Diego, who was now spread eagled on the floor with a bloody nose, looked up at him with mingled shock and… amusement of all things, on his face.

"That's a little rougher then I like my girls. But hey! I'm not fussy"

Snake glared, crossing the room to pick up the short, plump man by his collar and slammed him against his desk.

"Remember me?" he hissed.

"…H…Harris?"

"Well done. One of your guys betrayed me yesterday, heard anything about that?"

"Oliver. At the airport? Turned up dead about twelve hours ago?"

"Another one right. What do you know about it?"

"Me? Nothing! Other then what I've just said of course… Look, I'd never allow a betrayal of such a fine… customer! I've had someone looking into it of course, they're due back any second! It seems someone made him an offer he couldn't refuse… his daughter's in college, two sons to support… you know how it is!"

Snake growled deep in his throat, staying nose to nose with the man who was surprisingly calm given the fact that his face had recently been renovated.

"Who is it?"

"That I had looking into it? The young woman I thought was you! 'Kelly', she says her name is. Freelance. Very good. Quite the looker too. I rarely use outsiders but we're just swamped at the moment, new businesses in town…"

Snake shook the man roughly, loosing his patience. He'd been out for a few hours and was already growing anxious about Meryl… and Otacon.

"Aye, aye, aye! Careful with the suit!" Diego spluttered, trying his best to smooth it out under Snake's hold.

Throwing him back against the desk in disgust, Snake backed up and cracked his knuckles menacingly. "Thing is, whoever killed your man is making trouble for me. I need to know who he is and what he wants"

Diego sat up awkwardly and rounded his desk as Snake spoke. Falling into his chair, he pulled a hanky from his pocket and dabbed at his sweaty face. Snake casually brushed is jacket aside to make the gun in his belt obvious. His expression was clear: No sudden moves, or else.

Diego merely laughed pleasantly, as if they were old chums sharing past stories. "I understand. It's difficult for a couple of businessmen like us to get by today"

Snake's mouth thinned at being considered a part of the same circle as the worm in front of him. Though it was easy to see how this man, nearing his fifties, clearly unfit and about as threatening as a bunny rabbit, held such a sway over the darker side of the city. He had a very natural charisma about him… if Snake didn't know he was a dirty, thieving criminal, he could almost like him. Charm was an underrated skill.

A sudden knock at the door took both their attention.

"That must be her now… Come in!" Diego called.

Snake pressed himself against the wall, his instinct telling him to be prepared for anything.

He was suddenly glad that he always trusted his gut feelings as a woman with round blue eyes and a long mane of blonde hair entered the room.

_Bridgette_.

The second they each recognised each other they both pulled their guns. Bridgette deftly used her foot to slam the door behind her, cutting of Snake's escape. It seemed she had no idea that Snake wouldn't be leaving 'til he got his answers.

Bridgette sneered at him, making her otherwise pretty face much more unattractive, "My my, what luck. I didn't expect to run into _you_ so easily!"

Snake grit his teeth, keeping the gun poised.

"You wouldn't shoot a lady? Would you?" she drawled.

Silently, and with a cold smirk, Snake cocked the gun.

Bridgette returned his cold smile, "Apparently so. Still, it can only be expected from a man who likes to seduce and lock up teenage girls. I can't blame you, that red-head is fiery!"

Her grin broadened as Snake paled. "What have you done to Meryl!?" he hissed, needing no further description form the woman in front of him to know that leaving Meryl had been a big mistake.

"Oh she's probably having a wonderful time at her family reunion. It's such a shame that we don't plan on giving them long though. I hope you made the most of your chance to say goodbye. It won't be happening again" she laughed cruelly.

Snake's fingers clenched around his gun. He could feel the urge take her down coursing through him. The image of Meryl, injured and helpless, swam across his mind.

"I'm going to give you one chance to tell me everything you know" he spoke, drawing out every word clearly and with enough menace to make Diego shiver in his seat – who, regardless of the danger, was watching the pair closely, riveted.

Bridgette eyed him curiously, "She really means a lot to you doesn't she. Pity. I doubt she'll be recognisable by the time my partner is done with her. Do you really think I'm going to tell you anything? I'm prepared for death. It's part of the job"

This time, it was Snake's turn to smile, "Oh I know. You have the same look in your eyes that I see in myself every morning. But I'm not just going to put a bullet in your brain and be done with it _'Bridgette'. _You may be ready for death, but it's the 'how' and 'length of time it'll take' that you need to worry about"

For the first time, Bridgette flinched. Snake saw the way she swallowed nervously, looking him up and down as if to gouge the sincerity of his words. He kept his smile cold. His eyes gleamed dangerously. He was not a fan of torture, and he had never wanted to or enjoyed killing a woman. Sniper Wolf had been difficult enough, but it was a clear case of him or her.

Now, it was her or Meryl.

"Well?" he questioned, "How do you want to do this…?"

**Disclaimer: I own no rights to Metal Gear Solid.**


	13. Plans

Chapter Thirteen

Plans

Meryl approached the car slowly. Every cell in her body was telling her to run in the opposite direction of the shining, black vehicle; that every step she took was taking her towards her own death. She wasn't so naive as to believe that there was some way to bargain for her life, or her uncle's.

But when the only alternative was to sit by and do _nothing_…

It wasn't what Snake would have done. It wasn't what her father would have done either. This time, it was her turn to carry on fighting, even when there was no hope. Maybe it didn't even matter if she died, not if she could go out with some kind of dignity or pride to hold onto.

Those were the thoughts that kept her walking towards the car, that made her calmly slide into the back seat and hold her hands steady as the man who'd been waiting for her arrival checked her over for weapons. Just as she'd hoped, he'd found the gun and not thought to check her boots for the knives.

Meryl kept her hands on either side of her body, her nails digging into the soft upholstery, _"If I can take out Craig before they kill me, maybe Snake will be safe…"_

The sound of the doors locking automatically on either side seemed far too loud in Meryl's mind. Like the echoes of a cell-door sliding shut. Keeping both her hands at her sides she briefly studied the person beside her. She didn't recognise him. Dark brown hair, clean-shaven and dressed in a simple yet expensive looking suit. He looked very calm considering he was sat beside someone who was about to die. Perhaps it didn't bother him at all? Perhaps it was just something he was used to.

Meryl fought the rising panic in her chest as the car pulled away from the hotel. She'd made her decision. There was nothing else to be done now but to wait.

"Are we going far?" she asked quietly, glad that the shake in her voice wasn't too obvious.

The man at her side didn't reply. She looked at the reflection of the driver in the rear-view mirror – a more elderly man this time with a collection of wrinkles around his eyes and mouth – just in time to see him glance away.

"Don't expect Hammersmith there to answer you miss," he answered, sounding inappropriately cheerful in Meryl's opinion, "a wild-cat took his tongue."

Meryl glanced up at the silent stranger and was met with a twisted grin. She blinked, wondering if the driver meant his words metaphorically.

Hammersmith's lips parted slowly, and a stunted mound of flesh wriggled at her sickeningly. She couldn't help the cry of shock and disgust that escaped her then, and found herself shifting as far away as she could manage in the cramped space.

The driver laughed before it turned into a hacking cough. For the first time, the smell of smoke reached Meryl's nostrils. Pulling her gaze from Hammersmith's disfigured tongue, she noticed the packet of cigarettes sat in the car's dashboard and the glowing tip of the cigarette in the driver's mouth.

Her heart ached as a sudden flood of memories overwhelmed her; catching Snake smoking outside the cabin when she'd nagged him for the umpteenth time about the health hazards. She recalled him carrying her up to bed one night when she'd fallen asleep in front of the fireplace after he'd spent the day teaching her to properly chop wood. Her arms and legs twitched as she remembered his panicked face on Shadow Moses seconds before she'd been shot by Sniper Wolf…

Helping her improve her aim with a variety of weapons in the middle of a snow filled field, raising his eyebrows when she'd insisted on letting her cook 'real home-made meals', re-bandaging her wounds as they'd healed and letting her squeeze his hand when the sting of the disinfectant made her eyes water…

Promising her a new life… telling her she was beautiful…

A single drop of salty water ran from Meryl's eye to her mouth as she forced her eyes shut against the passing scenery outside her window. They were headed away from the city, away from the one place that held the most precious memory of all. Not all the weeks in Alaska could hold the same sentiment as those few hours in Oakwood Hotel. Meryl even found herself grieving for the man she'd left unconscious on the living room floor. She hoped Otacon would stay with Snake, that he'd at least have _someone_ with him when she was… gone.

The driver caught her looking at the packet of cigarette's and laughed, passing the pack towards her.

"Take one" he told her, "there's always a last chance for some of life's luxuries!"

She was about to decline, but Meryl found herself reaching out for the pack and cradling the box between her hands. The driver continued watching her, confused by the longing in her expression.

"How old are you?" he asked gruffly, ignoring Hammersmith's warning growl. With it came an ominous silence – an unspoken warning between the two.

Meryl looked between them, bewildered by the sudden change in atmosphere. "What does it matter?" she replied.

The driver shrugged, unfazed by the glare he was receiving from his partner. "Guess it don't. Still got a job to do. Don't want to end up like him" he told her, gesturing back to the man beside her.

"I thought you said… a wild animal?"

Even Hammersmith laughed, though it sounded strangely muffled. The driver smirked, "A 'wild-cat', I said. They don't like it when you ask too many questions. 'Just get the job done'. That's all we got to do"

Meryl caught the grimace on Hammersmith's face and swallowed nervously. She found herself feeling more and more disgusted by the pair and was glad only one of them could talk. "That excuse good enough for you? To let you sleep soundly in your bed at night?" she asked coolly.

Neither man replied – of course, only one of them could. But the mute simply looked away, staring straight in front of him.

Meryl crossed her arms over her chest and buried herself into the seat. She tried to let the anger and disdain wash over her and extinguish the fear. This was different to training, to battle. At least then you had the rush of adrenaline to stop you imagining how you might die, to keep you going when you knew your next move could be your last. But now, sat alone and trapped, Meryl could only think back to the last time she'd been sure of her own death; the first time she'd realised the realities of war and murder and doubted her dreams of becoming a soldier. She'd always followed in her father's footsteps, hoping to find that _something_ to fill the hole his death had left within her. When she'd found Snake, it was like something had begun… fixing itself… inside her. But it was never quite enough. Perhaps she'd been fooling herself all along. War never ended, after all. Not really.

Meryl closed her eyes, feeling a sudden wave of exhaustion overtake her. She tried to stay awake, knowing she'd need to know where they were headed to find her way back if she was able to miraculously escape. But that single hope flickered like a dying flame the longer they drove. She faded in and out of consciousness, hers dreams mixing with reality as the city lights finally faded into nothingness, surrounding them all with darkness. When Meryl wearily opened her eyes the first thing she saw was a blank expanse of emptiness, until she looked up. Shining like gems on a velvet cloth, the stars shimmered above her as the moon cast a silver light over the barren desert.

Meryl fought to keep her eyes open this time. Not one second could be wasted now. She was in the middle of nowhere, impossible to be found. Ignoring the drumming of her heart, she tried to memorise key points of her surroundings – anything that made her hope she could still get out of this…

Looking up at the sky once more, she sought out the brightest star. They were headed west from what she could tell. Meryl only knew a few constellations, but her father had once taught her as a little girl that if you knew what to look for, the stars could guide you anywhere.

She wondered, briefly, what would happen when she died. Meryl had never been particularly religious, it was hard to accept the presence of a God when you were so young and full of rage. When war was the only thing you understood to be a true constant, the thing that shaped your life, that took from you what you loved the most and yet gave your life meaning.

For a second, Meryl felt a perverse disappointment that this was how she would die – not on the battlefield like a soldier, but as a hostage. She hoped it was quick, that she wouldn't be shamed like she had been on Moses.

'_Shadow Moses…'_

What would she be doing now if she hadn't been sent to that island a month ago? Still living at the Military Base? If she hadn't been sent as a hostage against her uncle, used to manipulate him, would he even have been involved? Would Snake have been involved?

Meryl shook the thoughts from her mind. How ridiculous to think that one person could change so much…

Except… they could. Sometimes.

With that thought suddenly overpowering the helplessness she felt, Meryl flipped open the packet of cigarettes and examined it's contents. Amongst the white rolls of tobacco – or whatever the hell they put in those things – was a small, silver lighter. Meryl felt her lips pull up in a smile. Hadn't Snake once defeated Big Boss with an aerosol and a lighter? That was what the legends told her.

Deciding to spend the rest of the journey thinking about ways to escape, to survive, instead of rolling over and accepting death, Meryl straightened up in her seat and smiled to herself. The packet of cigarette's remained clutched tightly in her hands.

* * *

The car belonging to 'Bridgette' was hurtling madly through the cities traffic, ignoring the loud horns and angry drivers left behind. Snake gripped the wheel so tightly his knuckles were white, his eyes occasionally glancing in the rear-view mirror to check on the incapacitated young woman on the back seat.

It had never been his style to attack a woman – solider, spy, even a murderous bitch like her. It didn't matter. He gained no pleasure from her pain, but when his hand was forced…

The woman in the backseat glared at him, both her hands and feet tied so tightly simply moving them was painful. Her bottom lip was cut from the single time he'd struck her with the hilt of his gun. It had stopped her malicious taunting over Meryl, but he'd resorted to using pressure points to coax the information from her after that. She was currently gagged as well as bound, and lying flat on the back seat. Snake's gun was resting at his hip, every time he saw he struggle or attempt to move in any way, he clearly dropped his hand from the wheel and fingered the gun warningly.

It didn't take long to arrive at the hotel. It was still dark, approaching midnight, and no one else could be seen or heard. Snake drove straight through the car-park and pulled up directly outside the room he'd been staying in.

"Move and I'll take off your kneecaps" he growled over his shoulder before jumping from the vehicle, making sure to lock it behind him. He reached the door in three long strides, reaching out to test the handle.

The door swung open, revealing nothing but darkness.

Snake was well prepared for this, to walk in and find the room deserted. Bridgette had informed him of Craig's plan to lure Meryl away. At first he'd felt relief. Meryl wouldn't do something so reckless. Then of course, he remembered who he was thinking about. If Craig was using the Colonel against Meryl as bait…

Movement suddenly caught his eye. The gun was raised and pointed in less then a second.

"Oh... ow…"

"Otacon?"

"…Snake?"

"Where's Meryl?"

Flicking on the lights, Snake crossed the room and saw, to his dismay, that the bedroom door was wide open. Cold fear mixed with red anger as he pulled Otacon to his feet. Snake forced himself to remain calm, relying on that old soldier's instinct to take over. He hated panic, to feel out of control. "What happened?" he questioned through gritted teeth, though he didn't really need to ask once he saw the large purplish bruise on Otacon's temple.

"Meryl… she's… she's gone"

Snake's free hand clenched into a fist, "Did she say anything? Anything at all"

Otacon winced, reaching up to rub his head before he realised there was something in his hand. "Oh! She gave me this… and she said… she's sorry…"

He held it out for Snake to take. Surprisingly, the soldier's hands did not tremble as he read the words scribbled across the page. He could tell from the handwriting that she'd been in a hurry. Or scared.

"Just as I thought…" he mumbled to himself.

Otacon shifted uncomfortably, feeling the guilt slowly build up in him. "I'm sorry!" he burst out, "I should never have listened to her, this is all my fault!"

Snake gripped the paper in his fist, feeling it crumble under the pressure. Part of him wanted to agree with Otacon, to shout and rage at his stupidity. But honestly, he should have known better. When Meryl wanted to do something, she got it done. He should never have left her behind.

"There's no time for blaming yourself Otacon" he snapped, "Listen. There's a car outside with a girl in it. Just sit in the front and use the horn if anyone approaches… or if she tries anything funny"

"What do you mean?" Otacon blinked, baffled, "What girl?"

Snake rolled his eyes, "She's tied up, but feisty. Keep your eyes on her, I'll only be a few minutes"

"Right… and Snake-"

"I know Otacon. Apologise later…"

"…What are we going to do?"

Snake's mouth lifted in a cold imitation of a smile, "We're going to get Meryl back"

* * *

**Disclaimer: Don't own a thing.**

**Sorry, it's been a longish update. But as soon as I feel well again I managed to hurt my hand – have you tried typing without a couple of your fingers! It's not fun! **


	14. Oaths

Chapter Fourteen

Oaths

"Here's your stop missy"

"Thanks ever so" Meryl snapped at the driver, "Excuse me if I don't leave a tip!"

The man in the front seat laughed openly, eyeing his silent companion with a smirk, "She's feisty. Your boss will love her"

The edge of menace in his words was enough to make the ferocious expression on Meryl's face falter enough for each man to know for all her bravado, she was still afraid.

"Maybe he'll be quick if he's in a merciful mood – don't count on it though"

Meryl turned her face away, out towards the endless darkness of the desert, trying to appear indifferent to their one-way conversation. Her mind was already trying to prepare itself for whatever was about to happen. She'd had training in resisting torture after all… just, not when she was watching it on someone else. If Roy was down there, waiting…

Meryl shivered at the thought, remember a time she'd much rather forget when Sniper Wolf had rigged a television in her cell back on Moses and forced Meryl to watch as Snake had been electrocuted over and over. The echoes of his screams were one of the many things Meryl heard in her dreams at night, mingled with her own muffled cried against the pillows of course.

A sudden pain in her thigh made Meryl jump, lashing out at the large body beside hers. Hammersmith was fast for such a largely-built man and was able to dodge her blow with unexpected ease. Meryl's eyes searched in the darkness for signs of blood on her leg, thinking he'd just stabbed her with some appliance. Hearing a snapping noise beside her, she looked up in time to see Hammersmith place a syringe inside a small black box in his hand, which he then calmly slid into his jacket pocket.

Meryl swallowed. "What have you injected me with?" she demanded, her voice trembling quite openly. She momentarily forgot he'd be unable to tell her even if he wanted to.

Both men were little more then shadows when they finally exited the car, Hammersmith circling round the back to open Meryl's door. He dragged her out roughly, as if expecting her to be unable to walk. Meryl quickly understood why when her legs gave out beneath her, making her fall to her knees awkwardly. The rough surface of the ground scratched at the palm of her hands and she shivered as a cool breeze ruffled her loose hair.

She was quickly pulled to her feet again and all but carried away from the car. Meryl saw the figure of the driver return to the vehicle and rev the engine. After a few minutes, the lights were turned up to full and illuminated their surroundings with a sickly yellow glow.

Meryl could see nothing for miles. The odd rock or dead tree was all that surrounded them. She couldn't even make out the road they'd travelled on to get to… wherever the hell they were!

A grunt and a tug on her arm made her shuffle forwards, her legs now slowly beginning to feel as if they were turning to jelly. She focussed on shifting her weight, trying not to lean too much on the man gripping her waist tightly. She huffed and heaved her way through the dust, spluttering until she tripped over her own boots and slid from Hammersmith's grasp, landing in a clumsy mess on the floor. Rough hands gripped her wrists and pulled her up once more before throwing her entire body over a muscled shoulder. Now, upside down to the world and facing the opposite direction to which she and Hammersmith were moving, Meryl could still see the car in the distance. She rose one finger towards it when she realised the man in the front was once again laughing at her expense, and shouted a few choice words in his direction before Hammersmith shifted roughly, making her stomach lurch.

"Where the fuck are we _going_?" Meryl hollered, trying to prop herself up against the man's large back to restore some kind of dignity to her position. She was quickly swung back round off his shoulder and dumped on the ground. It seemed they had reached the place they'd been headed. Squinting into the gloom, Meryl watched as her 'guide' scratched around in the ground somewhere between three large boulders. She also took the opportunity to test her legs, attempting to at least stretch them out on the dirt. They jerked in the sand like they belonged to a broken marionette doll.

'_Crap' _Meryl hissed under her breath. Though the serum she'd been injected with didn't seem to able effecting any other part of her body, she was useless without her legs. Of course, there was the off-chance that she could use her knife to take someone out and steal their gun in the process. As long as there weren't more then a few guards she could quickly shoot them down and _drag_ her ass… where?

Her heart plummeted. Even if she _were _able to take out her abductors, she couldn't roam through the desert without any idea where she was going and without shelter, food or water! She'd been dead within days.

And what about her uncle? If he was in there, waiting for her. He could be injured, sick from dehydration!

The sound of grinding metal suddenly set Meryl's teeth on edge. She flinched as she looked over her shoulder and checked for the car.

'_Just don't go anywhere' _she thought to herself, _'I'm getting out of here one way or another!'_

A pressure under her arms told her she was about to be subjected to another piggy-back ride. Grimacing and cursing as she was tossed about like a ragdoll (again), Meryl made every effort to pinpoint her position. They'd travelled mostly west for a large portion of their journey, which meant Vegas was… how many miles east?

Mentally kicking herself for not trying to pay attention to distance as well as direction, Meryl crossed her arms as best she could and simply waited, letting herself be carried towards the three rocks. She quickly understood what had caused the grinding noise when she saw a well concealed entrance in the ground swung wide open. Dim light could be seen at the bottom of a rickety looking metal staircase and it soon became the _only _light as Hammersmith reached back and swung the door shut with one hand.

The sound echoed down the narrow tunnel, reverberating inside Meryl's head so violently it made her feel sick.

_A cell door sliding shut… the sound of a key turning slowly in the lock… _

Meryl shut her eyes tightly, bringing her hands up to cover her ears as if it might stop the noise in her head. Her stomach turned and acid burnt her throat, her nose.

"I'm going to be sick" she slurred, receiving only a small shrug (which didn't help her stomach at all) from the man carrying her so easily through the passageway.

Meryl peeked through her lashes, taking in large gulps of stale air. Inwardly she was hoping that if she _were_ sick she could aim for Hammersmith's expensive looking trousers.

They reached the bottom of the stairs after what felt like a life-time to Meryl. The knowledge that they were heading deeper and deeper underground with each step did little to sooth her jittering nerves. She felt so trapped, as if it shouldn't be possible to breathe when piles of dirt and sand surrounded her at every angle.

'…_hey!'_

With a sudden jerk, Meryl realised they _shouldn't _be breathing this far underground, which only meant air was being pumped down to them. That meant… air ducts! They had to lead somewhere, back above ground! If they were large enough to fit her body, she at least had one method of hiding or escape.

It was a small comfort, but enough to bring Meryl's mind back to the present.

'_Get a grip. Roy needs you…__ no one else is coming for you now…'_

_

* * *

_

"You're going too far south" the woman lounging on the backseat sang in a sickeningly sweet voice.

"How the hell am I supposed to find this place in the middle of nowhere" a gruff voice snapped back.

The woman rolled her eyes, "You're not. That's why it's a _secret _underground bunker"

"Smart-mouth" Snake muttered, "I swear, if we don't get there in time, you and everyone involved in your little plot are gonna end up sealed in that damn bunker and left for dead"

The woman didn't reply, though her expression shifted only mildly in the reflection in the rear-view mirror. Snake kept his hands firmly on the wheel, wishing he hadn't decided to send Otacon off to the airport to leave the country before departing with 'Bridgette', just so he could have someone else to distract him. He'd given the scientist more then enough cash from the fund they'd received from Campbell with instructions to lay low and try and send some kind of warning to Mei Ling. From the little his hostage had revealed, Snake knew anyone involved in Moses – anyone who knew the truth – were in danger.

"So what's this guy look like, the one that hired you?" Snake questioned, feeling edgy at the endless silence. He'd grown too used to other people's company since Meryl had moved in with him.

Bridgette sighed tiredly, answering with the same level of sarcasm in her voice as she did any other question, "I never saw him face to face. I followed the instructions sent to me via my partner"

"_Craig" _Snake spat.

Bridgette smiled cruelly in the mirror, "He took quite a liking to your girlfriend up in Alaska. You're lucky, he'll probably draw out her torture for days. You've plenty of time to get lost and die out here"

Snake's face was passive as he threw her a cold glare, but inside his entire body was raging with fire. He didn't want to think about that greasy little slime-ball touching one hair on Meryl's head. She was his now, he wasn't going to let her go – even if it meant driving through the desert 'til the car he was in ran out of fuel. When that happened, he's simply drag Bridgette along with him by her hair until he found what he was looking for. "Of the two of us, I won't be going first" he growled.

Bridgette didn't even flinch at his threat.

"Tell me what you know" Snake continued.

"I already-"

"Again!" he bellowed.

Bridgette sighed in the back seat, the gag she'd been forced to wear earlier hung loosely around her neck.

"I, along with my partner, were employed by an unknown party to track down the whereabouts and confirm the survival of you and your skinny little girlfriend"

"Why?"

"It's not my job to ask those sorts of questions"

Snake clenched his teeth hard enough to be able to hear them grind, "I suppose it was you two that were digging around in the Pentagon's files too"

He heard a muffled laugh as Bridgette stretched her legs out leisurely on the seat, the tie around her ankles still tight enough to her into her skin, "Oh no. Whoever hired us got the information he needed for himself. We were just needed to confirm his suspicions"

Snake's forehead creased as he frowned, "Which were?"

"That a certain solider and his 'sidekick' had _not_ perished on Shadow Moses island, as was reported"

"So it's me he's after" Snake spoke bluntly, a tidal wave of anger and guilt at having gotten Meryl mixed up in yet another one of his messes overcame him… until Bridgette laughed shrilly again.

"You really are lost to your own ego, aren't you!" she sniped, "_You _were the bonus prize. It was the girl that was wanted, I suppose, now that my 'employer' has her in captivity, I wouldn't loose any of the pay for taking you out right now"

Blue-green eyes flickered to the mirror, assessing the woman's state. For a second, Snake had worried she'd somehow untied herself and was about to make good with her threats. His smile was grim when he noticed his restraints were still securely in place, her hands now secured behind her back. Bridgette seemed to notice the impossibility of her declaration and simply settled with twisting in her seat to gesture in a rather un-lady-like manner.

She reminded Snake of Meryl far too much for the man to find it funny.

"What does he want with Meryl?" Snake probed, a dangerous lilt to his tone.

Bridgette shrugged, "My instructions were to confirm your survival and bring at least the woman to a classified location. You slowed us down when we had to dig through the remains of your cabin. Craig suspected a trick but we had to make sure you hadn't accidently killed yourselves with a gas explosion or something – smart move by the way, had you left two bodies in the remnants you could've bought yourself enough time to leave the country while we checked the D.N.A. Following you back was a pain, your tire-tracks don't remain in the snow for long"

Snake smiled to himself, pleased with the fact that he'd caused even a little frustration on their behalf. He'd had the tires on his truck changed long ago to make them difficult to track – of course it had once meant he'd got himself lost in the middle of nowhere with no tracks to follow back home, but it only proved his investment worthwhile. It seemed he was right to be paranoid.

"What else do you know?" Snake pressed on, "Or are you just a mindless drone killing for the highest bidder"

Bridgette sniffed haughtily at his words, but her own were enough to cut him short, "Me? A 'mindless killer'? I don't believe you're in a place to pass judgement _Solid Snake_"

Snake barked a laugh, understanding that she was trying to catch him off guard with her accusations, "So you _do_ know who I am. You're either very brave or incredibly stupid to come looking for someone like me."

He could see from Bridgette's expression that her bravado was faltering.

"You're just a man, Snake. Strip away the legend and that's all you're left with"

Now there was something unsettling. The woman who'd declared her love for a brutal killer couldn't see past the legend, but the one threatening to take everything he'd grown to care for was the only person who seemed to understand that, yes, Snake was just as weak and vulnerable as any other person on the planet. You just had to find his Achilles' heel to bring him down.

Staring in front of him, his eyes fixed to the sky, Snake swore an oath to himself that if he failed in this mission, it would be his last. The desert would be his final resting ground along with the people he'd failed, finally set free with the snakes of the wild where he belonged.

* * *

**Disclaimer: Copyright Konami and Hideo Kojima. (I think)**

This was going to be the big 'revelation' chapter, but I decided to draw out the suspense for ONE more chapter. I swear, in the next you'll get your answers. Who hired Craig and Bridgette? Is Campbell alive? Will Snake arrive in time? What happens to their budding relationship? Did I leave anything out?

I'm also wrapping up a seperate Snake/Meryl fluffy one-shot (not canon to this story) - if you're interested, keep an eye on my profile!


	15. Lies

_I'm very sorry for the long wait for this chapter. My entire hard-drive got wiped and I lost EVERYTHING! Including the 'plan' I'd typed up for this story! But all is well, I know what I'm doing... mostly! It may help for those of you a little rusty with the MGS1 storyline to go and read the summary on wikipedia or something – just so the revelations in this and coming chapters make more sense. (Just remember, I'm being intentionally vague with some details!)._

* * *

Chapter Fifteen

Lies

The walk down the narrow passageway seemed to last a lifetime to Meryl. From her upside down position, she managed to effectively cross her arms against Hammersmith's back and simply watch as the near invisible ground passed below her. She tried counting his footsteps but lost track around one hundred. Huffing loudly, she wriggled as best she could against his shoulders and winced when his grip tightened painfully around her waist.

"Are we there yet?" she grumbled, emitting a dramatic sigh that only earned her a very Snake-like growl in response. She felt her heart stutter ever so slightly at the sound, but pushed away the feelings quickly swelling in her chest. She didn't want to have to think about what she'd left behind...

Instead, she tried to wriggle her feet, to twist her ankle or even bend her knee. Nothing. Not being able to feel her legs was certainly... unsettling. It made her want to reach round and feel them out, just to make sure they were still there. Meryl remembered stories of war veterans who'd lost limbs in battle and still woke in the morning thinking they could feel their missing body part.

Meryl shuddered. The passing of time seemed to drag by with no means to measure it. There was no light to judge the time of day by – or check her watch with! The tunnel was so dark Meryl couldn't even see the man who's back she was resting against.

So when light suddenly flickered against the dust-ridden floor, Meryl gasped audibly. It was too dim to see much by, but enough to illuminate the particles floating through the air. The sound of muffled voices reached her then. More then one, male, and a distinctive cold laugh that made they each and every hair on Meryl's neck stand on end.

Then, the sound of metal being pulled to the side, clanking and ticking. Followed by more light of an orange-yellow hue. Meryl found herself being heaved over Hammersmith's shoulder once more and deposited on the dirty, red ground. Her hands sought out her legs, trying to pull herself upright as her eyes adjusted to the sudden light.

"She's drugged?"

A grunt replied to the familiar voice. Meryl looked up from the ground, her eyes quickly scanning her surroundings. There was only way door – the one she and Hammersmith had entered through – in the large, circular room. In front of her were two men she'd never seen before. Both wearing dirtied black suits and glasses. But the voice hadn't come from either of them, but a man now walking towards her.

"_Craig_" she hissed, her voice thick with loathing. Meryl was happy to realise that all her fear had disappeared thanks to the pure hate now coursing through her veins. It felt like liquid fire as it burnt its way around her body.

Craig stepped forward and into the light. Meryl examined the rugged, unshaven face she had all but forgotten about until his phone call. Smugness mingled with her anger when she caught sight of the purplish bruise on his face – a reminder of their first meeting in Alaska. Craig seemed to sense her pleasure at his injury. His eyes darkened before he closed the space between them in just a few long strides and hit Meryl hard with the back of his hand. The blow was strong enough to send her crashing against the ground. Both her cheek and skull throbbed with pain. Something warm trickled down Meryl's cheek and into the corner of her mouth. Blood.

"You two, outside now. I want you standing watch in case she was followed" he barked to the men behind him.

Hammersmith also made to leave, only to be stopped by a hand on his shoulder.

"You stay" Craig instructed.

Meryl was barely aware of this short exchange as she pushed herself upright once again. She was forced to balance herself with her hands against the ground, her vision swimming sickeningly.

"It's a shame you insisted on making things complicated" Craig told her, crossing the room to one of its darker corners, "If you hadn't tried to run, your poor uncle wouldn't have had to go through all this _pain_"

Meryl's ears were still ringing from his backhand, but she heard enough of his words for her heart to skip a beat.

_'Uncle... pain...'_

"R-Roy?" she stammered.

Craig laughed, "_Roy_? _Roy_? I don't think he can hear you!"

The sound of wood scraping across the ground echoed around them all, joined by muffled gasps of sheer agony. Craig stepped from the shadows - a brilliant smile on his face that made Meryl want to cut his mouth clean off – dragging something heavy behind him.

"Say 'hello' to your niece Roy. It might just be your last chance. Doesn't she look pretty? If you ignore the dirt and the blood of course! You know, I think she looks a lot like you, what do you make of that, hmm?"

Meryl's heart didn't miss a beat this time. It stopped altogether.

There, tied to the chair by his wrists and ankles, was her uncle. Slumped forward with a rag of spit-covered material tied around his mouth, Colonel Campbell – the man Meryl had come to see as a second father – all but sobbed as his blackened eyes fell upon the young woman shivering in the corner. Blood and sweat caked his clothing, long trails of brownish muck had dried against his skin. He looked so pale and sickly. Like death warmed up. Had he been kept down here this whole time?

"Uncle..." Meryl whispered, her voice breaking with uncontrollable emotion.

"Aww, well isn't this just... heart-breaking!" Craig announced, placing a hand over his heart dramatically. He circled the captive man with malice written into every line of his face. Meryl felt bile rise in her throat as she remembered how he'd placed his hands around her waist, over her shoulders, back in Alaska. Those hands that were now pulling the gag from her uncle's face. "I think it's time we all had a nice little chat, don't you?"

Meryl inhaled slowly, trying to control the rising anger flooding through her and into her very bones. She'd never felt the desire to kill so strongly in all her life. Not to defend herself or protect others – but simply to satisfy her own need for vengeance. The need overtook all her other emotions, making her taste blood and fire in her throat.

"I swear" she growled out, her voice shaking with rage, "I will make you pay for this."

Craig's smile didn't falter. In fact, his eyes seemed to light up with sick glee. "Make me pay?" he sung, "but why? When I alone am willing to give you what your so called 'loved ones' would not?"

Campbell made a chocking sound then, as if trying to shout at the man standing behind him.

"Oh hush" Craig snapped, curling his fingers in Campbell's unkempt hair, "I promised you she would know the whole truth before I killed her, didn't I? Unless of course... are you finally willing to do it yourself? I think you've already proven in our... interrogations, that you are incapable of being honest"

Meryl's fingers dug deep into the ground. The sandy substance filled the space under her fingernails uncomfortably, but she didn't care.

"**Take your hands off my uncle**!" she screamed, flinging herself forward onto the ground, "Anything you need to know, I can tell you! Just don't hurt him any more!"

Slowly, and very deliberately, Craig pulled a gun from its holster at his side. Raising it casually, as if he were unaware that he held a deadly weapon in his hand, he placed it next to Campbell's temple.

"I really wish I could do that Meryl" he sighed, "It gets very boring torturing these military types. Too much experience. I might as well beat my head against a brick wall for all the good it does me! But you on the other hand..."

The gun slid from her uncle's head and pointed directly towards her. Meryl froze, staring at the barrel of that gun as if peering into a black hole.

"... You, unfortunately, do not know what I need to find out" Craig finished, cocking the gun.

Meryl forced her lungs to work, to keep breathing in and out so she could speak. "Then why did you bring me here?"

Craig tipped his head to one side and glanced around the room, his eyes settling on one particular black corner. "It was my job. I was simply following orders. It's a shame I'll have to kill you, I really did like you back in Alaska you know" he chuckled, "Your bodyguard boyfriend could sense it. It was fun, getting his back up like that. He's no more then a possessive dog."

Meryl didn't dignify his words with any sort of reply. She kept herself steady against the ground, trying to think of a way to stall. She didn't know what she was waiting for exactly, only that every instinct was telling her to distract him. To buy herself time. If only she knew how long this damn drug would last...

"So you're going to kill in me, in front of my uncle, to make him tell you whatever it is you want to know?"

"Yes... and no" He affirmed, giving her no further explanation.

Meryl fought back the urge to scream at him. "Then _why_? What do you want to know?"

"Well... for starters, it's not _me _who wants to know anything. I'm just here for the fun – and the money, of course. I trust it's coming soon?"

Meryl blinked in confusion before she realised he was no longer talking to her, but the dark corner he'd been watching earlier. She jumped when something moved, something hidden by shadows. She'd had no idea there was anyone else in the room.

"Just get on with it" a voice snapped. Another man. He sounded... tired. Weary.

"Who is that?" she demanded, "Who are you? Tell me! Tell me what the hell it is you want!"

"The _truth_!" the voice suddenly bellowed, making her flinch as the noise reverberated around the room, "Not something you can give me, stupid girl, you're only here to make that fool talk!"

"Tell me who you are!" Meryl screamed back. She no longer cared that a gun was pointing at her face, or that blood stained the white top she was wearing. Desperation, anger, fear, hate – her body was a cacophony of the worst of human emotion. It felt like her heart would soon explode, it wasn't possible for a human being to feel so much all at once. Was it?

Control. It was the first thing she'd thought she'd learnt as a soldier. It was the only thing she had left. Breathing deeply, though raggedly, Meryl watched as a shape stepped out of the shadows. A man with hair that reached his ears in thick, messy tendrils and an unshaven greyish beard raised one hand to his face. He pressed his fingers against his eyes in a tired motion, as if he hadn't slept in weeks.

Meryl's mind was racing, trying to understand why she felt she knew him. Why she _should_ know him. She tried to picture him without the beard, the dark circles under his eyes and with shorter, cleaner hair. A man she'd seen on the television and newspapers months ago – before Moses.

But he had been involved with Moses... this man was the ex-Secretary of Defence.

"Impossible!" she breathed, "You... you died! You killed yourself! _Houseman"_

Jim Houseman. The man who had arrested her uncle during the Shadow Moses incident and tried to arrange an air-strike to destroy the facility – and any survivors inside.

He leered at her. His blonde hair full of reddish dust told her he must have been living underground for weeks, if not months.

"That's the story they fed the public. It wouldn't look good it everyone knew I'd escaped arrest"

Meryl gaped at him uselessly. Snake had told her about Houseman's involvement – how he'd shown no remorse when he'd planned to slaughter everyone of Shadow Moses Island. The only time he'd shown any emotion was when he spoke of his friend, Donald Anderson.

"I don't understand... you wanted Metal Gear's data... You wanted to kill us all!"

Houseman sneered, "Yes. Yes, I wanted _power_. You couldn't understand, your feeble mind knows nothing of the truth behind this country! I sought to take control, to eliminate 'them' for good! You know nothing. You don't even know _yourself_!"

"Ignore the crazy old coot" Craig sighed, "I don't think he's quite 'all there' any more. But he's still good for the money. Besides..."

He pulled sharply on Cambell's hair, letting Meryl see the full extent of the damage done to his face and neck. One of her uncle's eyes was so swollen he couldn't see from it. But the other fixed her with a terrified, pleading look.

"N-no!" he managed to cough out, blood leaking from his lips.

"Oh, but this is the best part! Don't you want to watch?" Craig drawled.

Meryl had a split second to understand. The gun was now pointed at her with purpose, her uncle chocking out soundless pleas for her life.

The sound of the gun's shot was like thunder, only drowned out by a short, sharp scream...

* * *

**Disclaimer: I own no rights to Metal Gear Solid or any of its characters. **

**If you're thinking 'Houseman, who?' there's a nice little explanation of his role in MGS on Metal Gear Wiki. **

**The wait for the next chapter won't be so long, and there will be Snake! **


	16. Truths

Chapter Sixteen

Truths

The twin headlights had acted as beacons for Snake; lighting his way through the night towards his goal. Bridgette had remained silent in the back as time passed by, probably plotting how best to kill him. The thought didn't bother Snake at all. He only took her silence as a sign of her ever increasing anxiety as he slowly got closer to his destination.

He'd shut off his own car's lights before coming into view of the other vehicle up ahead. In the silent surroundings he knew it wouldn't be long before the sound of the engine gave away his approach; which meant he had two choices. The first was to stop the car and approach silently by foot. The other was to charge in, full throttle, and take the enemy by surprise that way.

He cut the engine. Snake was, after all, a master of stealth.

Now his only problem was knowing what to do with the woman in the back-seat. He had his tranquillizer gun in his bag in the boot of the car, but a fully armed one at his side. Perhaps that was why she'd finally ceased her antagonising speech. She knew it was only a matter of time until Snake was forced to make a decision – let her go, or... not.

"If you're waiting for me to beg for my life, it's not going to happen" she told him quietly, her voice steady, as the car crawled to a stop.

Snake waited, both hands tight on the wheel, thinking. After a drawn-out, tension filled pause he stepped from the car and made his way purposefully away around to the boot of the car. He saw Bridgette shrink away from the windows as he moved and felt oddly unsettled by her nervousness. No. It was fear.

Snake only spent a few spare seconds contemplating this. It never used to bother him before – in fact, he preferred people to fear him. What had changed?

Loading up as best he could with his limited arsenal, Snake loaded the tranquilliser with steady hands. Seconds later, the silent whooshing sound as the dart flew from the gun's barrel was like a ghost's breath in the night. Bridgette's sleeping body slumped soundlessly against the seat. By the time she woke up, it would all be over. One way or another. What she did from then on was of no interest to Snake. As far as he was concerned, he'd shown her a great mercy by letting her live. It was more then she deserved... and just a little something that reminded him that he was not the same as the scum who'd kidnapped Meryl. He was above them, if only by a small amount.

… It wasn't as reassuring a thought as he thought it should be.

Snake wasn't dressed adequately enough for his infiltration and the cold night made him shiver. He kept his body close to the ground, moving with light footsteps 'till he was close enough to see what was waiting for him ahead. His own car was lost to the night's shadows with no light from the clouded moon to give him away.

Using the sights on his modified gun to zoom in, Snake investigated the immediate area; trying to find some sign of Meryl. There was no one but an elderly looking man in the car whose lights he'd followed, listening to the radio by the way his lips moved, and two other males standing still as statues - side by side with just a small space between them. They were in the middle of nowhere, no buildings or hints of civilised life for miles. But it was obvious from their too-stiff-postures that those two men were guarding something.

_'It's hidden well... you'll never find it unless you know where it is...'_

Snake's lips curved in a mocking smile. Whoever had taken Meryl were not as smart as seemed to think they were. By leaving guards outside they were practically beckoning him forward with open arms. Had they not bothered to stand watch, he might never have found this place – whatever it was. An underground bunker? A mine shaft?

Snake pressed a hand to his ear and waited for a familiar voice to answer.

"_Snake_?"

"Otacon," he breathed, feeling relief at the sound of the man's voice, "I need you to do me a favour. Do you have your laptop?"

"_Yes, I'm in the waiting room at the airport_"

"Public?" Snake asked quickly, feeling a short burst of concern at the thought of Otacon waiting in one of the rooms he and Meryl had been trapped in before. As far as he knew Otacon had not yet made it onto anyone's 'Wanted' list, but with the insanity of the past few days, it wouldn't surprise him.

"_Of course, where else_?"

"Never mind. I need you to check out the area west of Las Vegas. I'm looking for underground bases of some kind. Sewer systems, anything."

"_On it_"

Snake waited, hearing the sounds of babbling voices and clinking cups in the background. It was surreal, to think there were people out there living out nice normal lives while he was here, with a gun in his hand and others strapped to his body. He had limited ammo; which meant he was left hoping there were enough bullets for whoever was up ahead.

The time passed too slowly for his liking, so he focused on the men up ahead. No more guards revealed themselves, and the two guarding what he thought was some kind of entrance never moved an inch. They had no weapons in plain sight, but he knew better then to assume they were unarmed.

"_Snake, you there?"_ Otacon's voice rang clear in his ear.

"What do you have?"

"_Nothing 'official' – but it looks like there were a few military bunkers around the city, far out in the desert"_

"What were they used for?"

"_I'm not sure. Storage? There's only one way in and out so I'm guessing it wasn't much important else there'd be escape routes and such"_

"How about ventilation, if they're underground they need air"

"_Sorry, nothing big enough for you to crawl through - no air vents this time. Just the front door"_

Snake grumbled incoherently before replying, "Great. Well, at least that means there's only one way out. No one can slip past me"

The threat in his voice was enough to have Otacon swallow nervously. The scientist was suddenly glad he'd been forced to leave and was able to avoid witnessing Snake's vengeance.

"_You're going to wait for them to leave?"_

"No. If Meryl's really down there, they don't intend for her to come back up again. I can't just wait around here."

"_... You're going in alone!? You don't even know how many are-"_

Snake had to work to keep his voice controlled as he spoke, "I don't have much choice Otacon! I'm not just going to sit here while Meryl... I won't let her be hurt again..."

"_You have to protect the ones you love... right Snake"_

The silence was uncomfortable, even over the codec.

"_Er. Okay... listen, I kind of... found out something else you might want to know about..."_

"I'm listening"

"_The information was buried deep, it's why I didn't find it before. I was just double-checking, trying to get some clue as to who-"_

"Just spit it out, I don't have time for this!"

"_Houseman isn't dead Snake"_

The name echoed in Snake's head for several seconds. A face he barely remembered flitted across his vision – but the voice, that arrogant, sneering voice, rang clear as a bell in his memories.

"... What?" he managed to choke out.

"_Jim Houseman. Remember it was broadcast that he'd had a breakdown and killed himself. His suicide was a cover story for the press. Apparently they planned to turn him into a scapegoat for the whole incident on Moses. He escaped custody weeks ago. Intel suspects he was behind the hacking of the Pentagon's systems before... him or an accomplice."_

"Houseman... The Secretary of Defence! He was the who had the Colonel arrested; he was going to pin it all on Campbell – sounds like poetic justice to me"

"_Then you _do_ think Houseman is behind all this? He's to do with Campbell's disappearance?"_

"It all fits"

"_Then why does he need Meryl?"_

Snake's next thought was enough to make his stomach churn painfully, his blood rushing ice cold and red hot at the same time as sick rage began to burn away at his heart.

"He doesn't. If he had the Colonel then he needs something from him... and Meryl's just the bargaining chip"

* * *

Blood flowed freely onto the dust covered floor, staining the rust coloured dirt an even darker shade of crimson. Short, agonised gaps mingled with thunderous laughter as Campbell struggled uselessness against his bindings.

"M..._Meryl_?"

He stared in horror as she pulled herself upright, one hand pressed against her bleeding shoulder. Her entire body shook with the effort it took to support herself against the ground, but she still managed a dark smirk that Campbell knew she'd inherited from Snake.

"I'm f-fine" she managed to pant, "Lucky for me he's... such a lousy s-shot!"

The laughter stopped.

"Lousy?" Craig mimicked, "how very presumptuous! I simply want our time together to last."

Houseman shifted in the corner, his eyes averted from the scene in front of him. "Get on with it" he snapped.

Craig's cold eyes slid from Houseman to Meryl, his gun still pointed at her shivering figure.

"As you wish" he sighed. Tilting the gun upward, he wound his fingers into Campbell's unkempt hair and tugged mercilessly. "I'm trying to think of the best way to do this, how to make it last. Any tips?"

Campbell's mouth twisted in defiance as his eyes rolled, revealing the yellow-white beneath his lids. Craig let go of his hair and slapped the man's cheeks with the handle of his gun.

"Don't pass out on me now! This might be your last chance to see your dear _niece_..."

The laugh that followed was just as mocking as before, but even in her injured state, Meryl heard something in his tone that made her inexplicably suspicious. What was he planning now...?

His words seem to be enough to bring Campbell round.

"If you h-hurt her, I won't tell you a thing!"

Meryl felt an overwhelming sense of pride as she watched her uncle, beaten and bruised, defy this... this monster.

But it only seemed to entertain their captor even further. "I think that's rather hypocritical of you Campbell. After all, don't you think that between you, Snake and yourself have done enough damage to your poor, poor... 'niece'"

Meryl's breathing was shallow, her heart beating too loudly in her ears. She wasn't sure if what she'd heard was right.

"What's Snake got to do with this?" she demanded, "What are you talking about?"

"The _truth_, Meryl. Just like my associate here has already made clear. It's why we're here"

"We're here because you're a sick, masochistic bastard" she retorted, throwing all her malice and hate into her words.

Craig smiled, "Oh don't hate me just yet. You may be thanking me before this is over"

"_Thanking_ you!?" Meryl cried, feeling her body shudder in protest as she attempted to move closer, to pull herself to her feet. She was able to rest unsteadily on her knees before the searing pain in her shoulder froze her movements, "What the hell do I have to thank _you_ for!"

"I'm here to reunite you!" Craig declared, throwing his arms wide open as if speaking to the unseen stars themselves. Meryl noted that he really had a thing for theatrics. It made her fists clench in disgust. How could he toy with them like this?

"Reunite me? You're the one who took my uncle from me in the first place!"

The smile of Craig's face was as mad and joyful as the gleam in his eyes, "You're mistaken. I'm here to lift the veil of lies you've lived shrouded in your whole life! Take it as a final act of mercy from your murderer..."

Meryl was only slightly aware of the way her uncle rocked in his chair, spluttering incoherently between bloody coughs. She felt her blood run cold as Craig stepped forward, clearly reading the fright on her face and enjoying every second of it.

All Meryl knew was that she did not want to hear what he was going to say next. Whatever it was would not be kind, would not be merciful. But somehow, she knew it would be the truth.

"Meryl Silverburg..." Craig turned on his heel with a flourish in Campbell's direction, "let me introduce you to your _real_ father"

* * *

Disclaimer: I own no rights to Metal Gear Solid or it's characters.

Yeah. Craig's a total psycho. MGS4 spoilers ahead! I always wondered how Meryl found out about Campbell being her real father – so I tied it into the story because, well, it seems I like to make the characters suffer. And boy, will they! Craig's/I'm no where close to being done tormenting them yet!

Spoilers over!!!

I swear this story is some bad luck charm. The amount of times I've lost this file and had to write it over – about half a dozen I think!


	17. Not Quite To Plan

Chapter Seventeen

Not Quite To Plan

Denial. It had been the first thing to escape Meryl's lips as she looked from her uncle to the man smiling down at her.

"You're lying."

Spoken as barely more then a whisper, Meryl's words were eerily calm compared to the chaos blazing in her eyes. Shock, anger, disbelief, pain... and also pleading. A silent prayer that this was just another of Craig's stupid games. Because if it were true, then everything Meryl had ever believed, ever striven to become in honour of her father's memory, was an empty lie.

But Campbell did not deny it. His mouth, now free of its gag, remained silent; but his eyes spoke volumes. Years of regret and secrecy finally uncovered...

It was enough to break his heart to see Meryl realise the truth. His betrayal.

He'd longed for her to know, he really had. But when he'd had his short-lived affair with his own brother's wife, Roy Campbell had committed the greatest, most vile treachery. He had loved Meryl's mother very deeply, but she had simply been looking for someone's company while her husband was away. He'd tried to find excuses to ease the guilt, but none was good enough because none were true. By sheer luck, Matt had returned home shortly after the affair had finished and could easily have been the father of his wife's child.

But from the very first time Roy had set his eyes on the little red-headed girl, he'd known. A blood test he'd had carried out in secret confirmed his suspicions, leaving him with few options:

Tear his family apart and risk loosing everything, including his daughter. Or remain silent and watch her grow from afar, loved and safe within a real family.

He'd thought it had been for the best. But things never work out the way people plan...

"Oh god, it's true..." Meryl gasped, her voice trembling as her body shook from exhaustion, pain and shock combined. Her vision swam, making her topple sideways onto her good arm.

"Is this it?" Craig frowned, looking between the two disappointedly, "Well that was more boring then I thought it would be. Still, we have _hours_! I'm just getting started!"

"Bastard!" Meryl spat from the floor. Her body suddenly felt like lead, her limbs limp. Perhaps her body was buckling under the pressure.

Craig chuckled, "You've a dirty mouth for someone so young. Let's see what we can do about that..."

With a grin which spoke of all the torment to come, Craig tucked his gun into the holster at his waist. Meryl's thumping heart leapt. If he was unarmed then maybe she'd have a chance... except there was also the behemoth in the corner to worry about, Hammersmith. Houseman too, although he seemed to be more preoccupied with examining the walls as time passed by. Perhaps Craig was right and he'd gone insane locked away in hiding. Meryl didn't feel the least bit of sympathy for the man – insane or not.

Craig's footsteps were slow and deliberate as he approached. They were also enough to cause a reaction in Campbell's subdued body.

"_You stay away from her_!"

Something small and sharp suddenly glinted in the flickering orange light. Meryl cringed when her eyes landed on the blade in his hand, making Craig's smile widen even further. He truly was completely mad; a sick sadistic bastard. Her mind whirled as she tried to come up with some sort of plan. If she couldn't escape... perhaps it was time to begin planning how best to make this quick and painless.

Glittering green eyes sought out the only face in the room she could bare to look at, and for the first time in her life she realised how similar her eyes were to his. Her uncle... her father... it felt like such a petty thing to get caught up on now. Campbell would always be the same man to her, and through her eyes alone she tried to tell him this. She was too afraid that if she open her mouth to speak, her brave words would turn into pleas. Meryl refused to give Craig the satisfaction, nor did she want to hurt Campbell with her pain. Instead she tried to focus on something else, anything else! Meryl couldn't bare to watch as her torturer's own blackened eyes shone with pleasure. She was already haunted by so many in her dreams, his were not the last thing she wanted to see. No... the last thing she wanted to see in her final moments was miles away...

Did he know she was gone yet? The image of him leaning over her mutilated body quickly flashed through her mind. Meryl prayed it never happened, that she would simply be left behind. Snake would only blame himself if he knew...

The metal was cold when it pierced her skin. The sounds of voices mingled in the air, but she couldn't tell who they belonged to. Someone's screams filled the room, but she was sure her mouth was clenched shut. Was someone crying? Her own eyes were oddly dry...

_Meanwhile..._

It had been far too easy. A tranquilliser dart through the open window of the elderly man's car had left him slumped as if sleeping against the door's frame. The two guards had noticed nothing, making it a simple enough act to take them out with a silenced hand-gun. Snake was almost disappointed. Almost.

Approaching the still bodies of the guards, Snake quickly searched them for anything of importance - Keys, I.D cards. They carried nothing but their own weapons – which were basic backstreet arms. He was obviously not dealing with anything military.

As he had suspected, a heavy metal door too big to be a man-hole cover was hidden amongst a dying bush and loose rocks. Clearly it had recently been disturbed. He fumbled in the dark for a few seconds, inching his fingers around the outside of the entrance as he tried to find a handle. Once he'd sought out the indentation in the metal frame, he pulled it open slowly, stopping when it began to creak. Like a shadow he slid inside the small gap, letting it close behind him and plunging himself into darkness.

Snake had no equipment to help him see in the dark and was forced to resort to simply feeling his way along the rough walls, his feet moving forward silently across the ground. Every now and then he paused, listening for sounds of movement or voices up ahead. The oppressing quiet did not comfort him in the slightest and his mind raced with damning thoughts. Was he too late? Was he in the wrong place? Was this another trap?

Feeling his way through the dark passageway left Snake feeling vulnerable, exposed. His every sense was at its peak, straining to see or hear. His fingertips tingled with the rough texture of the wall. The gun in his hand had never felt heavier.

Snake paused, facing his body sideways down the tunnel to cover both his back and front. He was mid-step when he heard the screaming begin.

In a split seconds reflex Snake's gun was raised to eye-level as his body fell into a crouched stance; every muscle tensing as he listened.

There were too many voices to distinguish between them, to many sound: laughter... panting... gasping... cries of pain and despair. His feet were moving forward before Snake realised what he was doing. He was only vaguely aware that he was being too loud as his boots hit the ground, but the sounds were like a magnet to him, making him imagine things he didn't want to see ever again. Blood on the cold ground, Meryl's eyelids fluttering as she fought to remain conscious...

He saw red... and realised it was light. Flickering light stretching towards him across the ground throwing shadows against the walls. They twisted and morphed into shapes, like arms reaching for him, beckoning him onwards.

Snake lightened his footsteps and tightened the grip on his gun as he moved forward inch by inch. The voices were louder now, though he couldn't make out what was being said. He could finally see a crack of light coming through the wall... no, a doorway. A heavy metal door that was barely open enough for him see through, let alone slide past.

Trying to move with the utmost care, Snake leaned to the side, steadying himself against the wall as he examined what little he could of the room in front of him.

Snake's trigger finger began to itch, and it was growing harder to ignore by the second.

It was now or never.

Crouching low to the ground so as to remain hidden in the shadows, Snake was able to see the back of one of the men. The silencer on his gun might be enough to cause a little confusion when his target suddenly hit the ground, giving Snake enough time to break in and take out whoever was left. The old phrase, 'Shoot first, ask questions later' had never sounded so good to him.

The second voice continued, layered with mock concern, "Hmm... perhaps I was wrong. I hope she hasn't bled to death already... what an anticlimax!"

Snake's heart stopped, the gun forgotten in his hand.

_'Meryl, no!'_

Snake had only a fraction of a second to loose himself in fear and denial as a sudden roaring bellow unexpectedly made him start. It took only another moment for Snake to realise that, beneath the shouting of the two male voices, he could hear another. A woman.

Meryl was alive... and giving as good as she'd got!

This was his perfect moment. In all the confusion Snake assumed had been caused by Meryl,he leapt up from his position and pushed the door out of his way. The light was dim in the room but enough to illuminate the writhing body on the ground as it pulled something that shimmered from his thigh. A bloody mess of dirt and rags sat tied to a chair on the far side of the room... and Meryl was kneeling unsteadily at his side. Snake recognised Campbell's face beneath the bruised flesh.

With a quick flash of his eyes, Snake took taken in the situation as quickly as he could. Not even enough time passed for Meryl to notice his entrance.

But it had been enough for someone else to; a third male who hadn't spoken or moved since being instructed to remain in the room.

A foot suddenly collided with Snake's hand, sending his gun spiralling into the air. Spinning on the spot with a retaliatory kick, Snake collided with his opponent with all the force he could manage. It earned little more then a grunt from his attacker. Falling back slightly, Snake made to reach for his M9, but was met with a fist against his jaw before he could pull it from its holster. The blow sent him flying back, hitting his temple against the metal door.

And everything faded to black...

* * *

Disclaimer: I own no rights to Metal Gear. All rights to Konami.

Sorry about the wait again, what can I say, someone killed my muse. I've had these last chapters in mind since January and yet I can't seem to write them! I decided to split this and the next chapter since I didn't want to get too action/dialogue heavy all at once. Also, if you visit my profile there's a link to my Livejournal where I've put up a cut chapter (the original first kiss was much earlier.. and hotter!). It's the very first entry at the bottom of the page - I think you'll like it! (Click the link the reads 'Chapter Five Original' to open it)


	18. Turnabout

Chapter Eighteen

Turn-about.

Everything had gone horribly, _horribly_ wrong.

She should have known better. At least, that was what Meryl told herself as she gasped and panted on the ground, only an arms reach from the still unconscious body of her would-be saviour.

Craig had not let her little stunt go unpunished. She was sure her wrist on her left side was broken, her face probably turning purple with bruises as her lips, cut by her own teeth as she tried not to cry out, pulled back into a grimace. Seeing him limp away and taunt Campbell, a bloodied rag around his bleeding thigh were she'd attacked him with her concealed knife, brought her little consolation in comparison to her own wounds.

Roy had long ago grown silent, knowing his pleas for mercy only goaded the maniac cutting into his daughter's flesh to do further damage. Instead he'd whimpered a few muffled apologies for his failure to help her, to protect her, before choosing to pray that it would all end quickly.

Of course he knew it wouldn't. Craig's actions now were simply a penalty for Meryl's attempted escape. Roy didn't want to even _begin_ thinking about what he would do when he started his interrogations again.

So what could he do now? Praying was useless, yet he still sent up his silent words. His only hope was lying on the ground with his hands and feet bound as blood dried on the side of his face.

Roy Campbell had only one choice...

"Stop" he croaked with as much force as he could, "I'll tell you... I'll tell you what you want. Just... _stop_..."

Exhaustion was finally creeping up on him. Campbell could barely feel the guilt, the shame at haven given in. All he wanted was for it to end. To find a little peace, even if only for a moment or two...

"_Finally_!" Craig smiled, raising his arms up to the low roof, "What did I tell you Houseman? All he needed was the right sort of persuasion!"

The old man who'd remained hidden in the shadows didn't bother to respond. He was as still as the towering form of Craig's mute lackey standing over Snake's roughly tied form as they watched in brooding silence, both lost to their own thoughts on the proceedings.

"Well then, shall we?"

Campbell looked up into cold, staring eyes and tried not to think about what he was doing.

"The data I preserved..." he began, breathing raggedly as he tried to hold on to the few lingering seconds he had before giving everything away, "...the full recording... of what really happened on Shadow Moses... it's-"

"Since when did you turn into such a piss-weak little _bitch_ Campbell?"

"S-Snake!?"

"Don't-"

With a move quicker then could be expected of someone so large, Hammersmith's boot made direct contact with Snake's gut, forcing the breath from his body as he retched against the ground.

Turning his back on the distraction both of Craig's bloodstained hands came down on either side of his prisoner, slamming the heel of his palm against the wooden arm rest he brought his face mere inches from Campbell's.

"Where. Is. The data?" he spat out, both eyes glowing now that he was so close to his prize.

But it was too late. Craig watched as tiredness and guilt leaked from Roy's expression and turned into something he despised. Resolution, determination and strength. He was going to have to do something drastic...

"Very well" he spoke calmly, "If that's how you want to play it... what is your daughter's life worth, _Colonel_?"

Roy's weary eyes stared back at him, filled with mistrust, loathing and... hope?

"She... means everything to me..."

Craig's lips rose into a half smile, "Then perhaps we can... negotiate. Maybe I've been a little too hasty..."

Finally, Houseman's haggard shape moved into the light. His face was twisted in disbelief and and months of pent up frustration, "_What are you doing_?" he demanded.

"I'm assuring your future. Your freedom, _Jim_" Craig's voice as he spoke the ex-secretary's name was almost a mocking sneer. It was a wonder why someone like him would take orders from a man who'd sunk so low...

Craig's hand slowly rose to rub away the blood and sweat marring his face. He looked at it for a long second before rubbing it away on Roy's dirtied shirt.

"How about I offer you your daughter's life in return for the data? Does that sounds fair? One tiny little disc of information compared to the all those years dear Meryl has to enjoy in the future. A career, marriage, children. Imagine the fat little grand-kids Roy! It's more then a fair trade, wouldn't you say?"

It was Snake who replied. Snake whose short laugh caused Craig's hands to fist at his sides. He was a patient man, that much was obvious. But when he was close enough to touch his goal his temper grew short.

"What do you take us for? Idiots? There's no way you'd hold up your end of the deal!"

"Given your position, I don't think you have much choice," he snapped, "_look_ at her, she has hours left at best! I can save her. I can have Hammersmith take her back to the city right now. It'll all be over." With a self-satisfied glance at Meryl's twitching form, Craig turned back to his quarry, "Campbell, you can _end_ _this. _Only you! Now... what do you say?"

"_W-wait_" Snake cried out from the ground, trying to uncurl his body regardless of the shooting pain in his stomach, "What the hell do you want the Shadow Moses Data for?"

Craig leered, waving a hand over his shoulder towards Houseman. "_I_ don't"

Snake, having only been conscious for moments and unable to take in a full view of the room during his failed intrusion, hadn't noticed Jim Houseman leaning tiredly against the door. Immediately upon recognising the mess of a man, Snake's mouth omitted a stream of curse words and threats that would have had far more impact on a man who wasn't already staring death in the face.

"Solid Snake" Houseman crowed, "I always knew that you had made it out alive. I can't thank you enough for bringing the girl along with you, had you not then I would have been lacking my bargaining chip!"

Snake's body quivered with restrained anger, desperate to jump from his bound state and throttle the grinning man with his bare hands. "You're responsible for all this..." he said darkly, the threat in his voice screamed of unbridled danger. Anyone with half a brain would have killed him whilst he was still unconscious – praise be for small blessings.

Beside him, Meryl let out an almost silent moan. Her eyelids were fluttering the way they did when she was dreaming, and Snake had no idea if she was still awake or not. Could she hear him? Could she hear as Craig and Campbell gambled for her life... as he himself demanded Campbell remain silent and refuse the only thing that could save her?

"Why?" he ground out, unaware that he was speaking aloud.

Houseman echoed his question, thoroughly enjoying Snake's anguish as he watched Meryl bleeding on the ground. He had to hand it to his sadistic associate, Craig knew what he was doing when he'd targeted Campbell's child.

"The Government planned to have me assassinated," he began slowly, "to take the fall and cover for the debacle on Shadow Moses Island. The quicker they could give the press what they wanted the less likely it was that their secrets would be discovered. Imagine the worlds reaction if they knew about the military's use of gene therapy, the secret nuclear bunkers-"

"The fact that you deployed a nuke to blow us all to hell!"

Houseman's smile never faded, "They just couldn't see that what I was doing was for the best"

"Bullshit" Snake spat back, "And now I expect you want to use the data to blackmail our very own government in return for your worthless life. How patriotic, you slimy bastard"

Houseman's victorious grin spread wide enough to expose horribly yellowing teeth before laughter burst from his throat. Craig merely ignored both men with a bored expression, pressing one hand to his temple he let out a strangled moan of frustration, "Are you quite finished?"

The laughter slowly subsided as he shook his head from side to side. He was muttering something to himself, something about jokes, lies... and patriots.

None of them saw as Snake's body inched its way closer to Meryl, nor did they spot the fact that beneath Meryl's foot something red and silver glinted in the fading light. As Roy watched Snake lean his body over his daughter's, he assumed Snake was checking her injuries or even trying to comfort her. Naturally his eyes widened with surprise and hope when he realised what was really going on. Struggling feebly against his binds, Campbell did all he could to help by distracting all attention his way.

"Fine! All right! Please, no more and I'll tell you..._ I'll tell you_"

But Craig was not an idiot. He had tortured many people in his life, first for fun and then for money. He knew the difference between authentic pleas for mercy and empty promises of surrender.

"Hammersmith, kill him-" he began to shout, spinning on the spot.

Too late. With the last of her strength Meryl had held the knife she'd used to slice through Craig's thigh with her feet as Snake cut away at the withered rope around his ankles. He had obviously not been expected and the ropes used to hold him were weakened from damp and rot.

With only his lower half free Snake was forced to lash out with only his legs and feet, sending Craig toppling over to land hard on his side. Hammersmith quickly moved forward and grabbed Snake under his arms, dragging him backwards away from the fray.

"Nice try" Craig wheezed, winded from the sudden assault.

Snake struggled to free himself from Hammersmith's inhuman grip, attempting to ram him backwards into the wall or throw him over Snake's shoulder. The lackey was all muscle though, easily weighing more then Snake could handle, especially while at a disadvantage.

It took Snake several seconds to realise that the pressure pulling his arms behind him had disappeared and he ended up falling forward when Hammersmith unexpectedly let go. Houseman, Craig and Snake himself looked to the man with shock, exclaiming at precisely the same moment, "_What are you doing_?"

Though unable to speak, Hammersmith made his intentions clear as he pulled his gun from its holster and settled it, not on Snake, but his employer. With a pointed look at Meryl and a disgusted, enraged glare at Houseman, he cocked the gun and smiled.

"You back-stabbing, traitorous son of a-"

The thunderous explosion from the gun drowned the end of Craig's outcry, replacing it with a piercing shriek as his body jerked backwards and thudded onto the ground. A splatter of blood painted the wall behind him.

Nobody moved for quite some time, not until Meryl parted her lips to release another pain-ridden cry of agony.

Snake wanted to go to her, to pick her up and cradle her and tell her she'd be okay. But he was stuck between Houseman and Hammersmith with Roy still bound to his chair. Turning weary eyes on his unexpected rescuer, Snake raised his hands slowly and motioned towards the stammering ex-secretary shrinking away into the corner.

"You're letting us go?" he asked simply, not one to beat around the bush. Every second wasted was a second closer to losing Meryl. Hammersmith paused, lowering his gun. "Well?"

With a half-smile Hammersmith opened his mouth to expose the severed muscle inside. Snake didn't flinch like Meryl, but rose and eyebrow and responded with a curt nod.

"I assume, since you're not shooting us, we're not your enemy. Let us out of here and as far as we're concerned, you don't even exist"

Snake's offer seemed to agree with the silent giant of a man. He holstered his gun and stepped toward Meryl, pulling of his blazer and tie he quickly began ripping them to be used as tourniquets for her wounds. Which left Snake with just one more thing to take care of...

* * *

Several hours later, a car full carrying five persons – one untouched, two gravely injured, another bearing a head wound and the last tranquillised – pulled into a small, private hospital car-park. The sun was just beginning to rise in the distance. There were questions from doctors and several bribes took place to keep the matter quiet. Hammersmith's presence only remained long enough to frighten some of the nosier nurses away to other patient's bedsides before he disappeared, obviously, without a word. Conveniently, the elderly driver also found himself discharged from the hospital at around the same time after waking from his long sleep, a little groggy but none the worse for wear.

Roy Campbell was sedated and kept under close watch on the ICU ward while his daughter was whisked away for surgery to heal her many cuts and breakages. The blood loss had been severe and Snake had not been oblivious to the worried looks exchanged between doctors and nurses.

Snake himself had made sure his head wound was seen too last. He spent the time waiting for Meryl to come out of theatre by checking up on the others before contacting Otacon, who was still on his flight to England.

"_Snake? Thank God! Are you all right? Did you find Meryl? What happened? Do you know-"_

"Shut up. I've got a splitting headache and spat out the painkillers these freakin' sadists gave me."

"..._Sadists_?"

"Doctors Otacon. I hate hospitals."

"_Oh. Is everyone... I mean._.."

"We're all..."

The word 'fine' found itself caught on Snake's tongue as he spoke. Clearing his throat loudly and glancing toward the double doors separating him from the Operating Room, Snake continued.

"We found Campbell. Yeah, alive. They say he'll be okay... Meryl's... we're still waiting. Listen, I need you to do something for me. First, drop an anonymous tip with the cops and give the co-ordinates to that underground bunker. They'll find a nice surprise wrapped up for them down there. Then I need you to look up a guy named Hammersmith. He was working with Craig until, well, he changed his mind. I just need to know if he's trustworthy..."

Otacon, not oblivious to the way Snake avoided mentioning Meryl, assured him that he'd do all he could working off the details Snake gave him. The sound of the codec disconnecting was almost silent but still seemed to echo in Snake's head. He was sat at the edge of a long, white hallway, staring at a painting of an ocean. He couldn't help but wonder why it was there. To distract the friends and families waiting to hear if their loved ones were dead yet?

With nothing better to do he thought back on the night's events. The unexpected alliance between himself and Hammersmith, Craig's brains decorating the walls, Meryl's blood still staining his clothes from where he'd carried to the car, held her as Hammersmith drove back to the city. Perhaps in any other circumstance he'd never have trusted the man. Perhaps he had seen something in the way he looked at Meryl as she'd tried to open her eyes, reach out and take his hand: "You kidnapped me, you brought me here. But it's okay, you're on our side now."

How many days had passed since that night he'd stood beneath her window and watched the way the cold air made her cheeks turn red?

Snake stood, suddenly impatient and aware that he'd stained the wall with brown muck where he'd been leaning against it. As if someone had switched him onto auto-pilot he headed for the disabled bathroom, just desperate to lock the door behind him for a few moments and _think._

Above the sink was a mirror. In the mirror was a man he wasn't sure he recognised. Not just because of the dirt-streaked face or messily styled hair – it was something about the way his eyes were glazed over and his mouth pulled down. He looked... old. Old and tired.

The sudden thought that he or Meryl might be recognised was quickly pushed away. If he didn't recognise his own face then how could anybody else?

The sound of hurried footsteps heading down the corridor made him start. Snake hastily ran cold water over his hands and face before stepping out into the hall, not quite ready to hear what the doctor might have to say. The urge to simply up and leave was sickeningly strong.

A man with greying hair and a long white coat turned on the spot, his face pulled into an unreadable mask. "He must be used to this," was all Snake could think.

"Mr Pliskin, I have some news..."

* * *

AN: HA! I love cliff hangers, and am so so sorry I'm doing this to you after waiting over a month to update! I swear, as soon as this is posted I'm on to the next chapter! You might be able to tell that action is not my forte – and Hammersmith's sudden change of allegiance will also be explained. Because apparently everything there is to know can be found on Otacon's magic laptop (don't judge me my ridiculous plot devices and enhancements!)

Disclaimer: I own no rights to Metal Gear, at all. If I did, Snake and Meryl would have lots of badass red-headed babies!


	19. End?

Chapter Nineteen

End?

Campbell's room was sparsely decorated with the odd painting nailed to the walls, which were as white as every other room in the hospital and glowing a faded pink colour as the sun rose in his eastern facing window. Snake entered silently through the double door, feeling uneasy as he approached the well-stuffed chairs beside the bed. He hated the smell of the room, bleach and chemicals; so unnatural. He hated the sounds of the machines and the fact that the contraptions wired up to the man in front of him were vital in keeping him alive.

"Snake" Roy croaked. It wasn't a welcome or a question, just a general acknowledgement. Still, it was enough to make Snake feel like some felon under interrogation. He tried to think of something to say, to apologise for failing to protect Meryl, for being too late to stop her getting hurt and too stupid to keep her safe.

Snake rubbed one hand against the back of his neck, feeling the build up of sweat and dirt under his fingers, "She's going to be okay" he ended up saying blankly. How could he feel so calm? The adrenaline rush had left him empty, exhausted. He was vaguely aware of the throbbing pain on the side of his bandaged head now that his headache had slowly subsided.

"I know, I've already been informed" Campbell said back just as calmly. There are some moments in life when words really are meaningless. A simple look, even a feeling, can communicate more then an entire conversation. But neither men enjoyed pained silences. "I guess we got lucky..."

Snake withheld a contemptuous snort, "Yeah. Lucky."

"... What happened down there Snake. I don't understand..." Campbell, tired beyond belief and feeling the effects of the pain-killers all too well, tried to think back over the past few hours. It had felt like an age since he'd been ambushed in his own home and dragged around the country. He'd known to expect some sort of backlash after Shadow Moses and had been preparing for the consequences when Craig's lackeys had attacked him. Somehow he'd managed to press his 'panic button' installed to send messages to an old friend of his who had been instructed to mail a parcel addressed to Meryl immediately. He knew Snake would grow suspicious when a couple of thousand dollars turned up out of the blue.

"Hammersmith, the big guy, apparently he's a freelance," Snake replied, "not tied to that scum-bag for any other reason then money. He obviously didn't know what he was getting into when he kidnapped Meryl, Otacon did a little research. He's wanted in connection to a few gang crimes, petty stuff."

"That doesn't explain his sudden change of heart"

Snake rubbed the bridge of his nose, trying not to make it too obvious that he was avoiding eye-contact, "He had a daughter. Died five years ago. Kidnapped and left for dead when he couldn't pay the ransom. I think he's trying to find the guy who did it, you know"

Campbell paused before answering, watching Snake intently as he thought. He spoke slowly, his mind wandering back to his own daughter, "A father's love can force men to do unthinkable things..."

Snake grunted, obviously still unaware of the revelation made in the bunker. Campbell considered telling him, in his drugged state he even found the idea of him becoming Snake's father-in-law humorous. But the moment past quickly when he remembered what he'd been meaning to tell Snake instead. It didn't matter if he knew the full truth about Campbell's relationship to Meryl, there was a good chance he wouldn't be speaking with Snake again for a long-time. Not if he could do what he'd always been trying to do. It was a father's right to protect his children, at all costs. Even if it meant hurting them in the process for the sake of their future.

"Snake... this can't go on"

Blood-shot eyes finally settled on the old, bruised face. Campbell was surprised to see, mixed amongst a tide of chaotic emotions, that clarity was still clear on Snake's face.

"I know. I know what you're thinking, and maybe you're right..."

"I _am_ right Snake. I've been thinking it over since you and Meryl left Moses together. I know how she feels about you, I expect she thought the idea of you two going into hiding together would be exciting... but Meryl is young Snake, naive. She doesn't understand how the world, _our_ world, works yet. If given the chance, just think, in ten years who knows where she could be?"

Snake's voice was dead, a simple monotonous agreement without feeling. "Where she could be... without me holding her back. Without me ruining her life with more blood and battles"

Campbell raised one weak hand in acknowledgement, an apologetic gesture for his words. "I'm glad you understand Snake. I know we both have Meryl's best interests at heart"

"Trust me Colonel. I understand perfectly" Snake replied.

And he did. Because he'd always known this wouldn't last. Perhaps Houseman's attack on them had just been the beginning, Snake wouldn't be able to live his life running and hiding from invisible foes. It wasn't his way. So could he justify dragging Meryl into that, even if she thought it was what she wanted?

There were other options. Meryl was practically unknown. The relative of a man with a good reputation. Without himself being attached to her name, her history... she'd have the chance of a better life. Because he wouldn't be in it.

Silently he rose from his seat, pausing only for a moment to stare blankly ahead before heading for the door without so much as a backwards glance in Campbell's direction. He couldn't look back at all, figuratively or physically. If he did he might just find himself trying to find a way to go running back to those weeks watching over Meryl as she slept restlessly, to the hidden glances when she moved past him and the internal arguments over what they meant, what they could mean.

He walked past doctors and nurses without so much as noticing their presence. He rounded corners and climbed stairs as if on auto-pilot, not really thinking about where he was going but somehow still coming across his destination all too soon.

Snake had never been good at goodbyes. The thought that he could avoid it with Meryl since she was still unconscious from the sedation, brought him no comfort. He found himself wanting to face her, he knew how stubborn she was. Meryl wouldn't let him walk away like this, and he wanted to feel the guilt and shame instead of this damned emptiness. This acceptance.

He didn't stop until he'd pushed the door open and finally laid eyes upon her on the bed, tubes and wires writhing their way around her body like chains.

Snake made his feet move forward, made himself look at her bruised eyelids and the way her long lashes brushed the top of her cheek. He didn't like her sleeping like this. He was used to seeing her eyes move as she dreamt, face twitching, hands reaching out to shadows that didn't exist any more.

His head injury must have been more severe then he'd realised. Everything felt so dreamlike, as if he'd wake any moment back on his bed in his home and hear Meryl moving around the bathroom. She liked to sing in the shower when she thought he couldn't hear her...

The memory crumbled away, irrelevant now. Snake supposed if this were a movie this would be where he would make some touching declaration of love and apology, he'd tell her how he never meant to hurt her and wished he didn't have to go...

Life isn't like the movies. Life is harsh and cruel and only gave him enough strength to lean forward so his lips wavered above her forehead.

By the time the nurse began her mornings rounds, she found only a piece of green-grey cloth wrapped around Meryl's hand and Mr Pliskin's discharge forms on her desk.

* * *

Roy Campbell carefully eased himself into the wheelchair by his bedside, tiredly thanking the nurse who had spent the last few days wheeling him to and fro from his daughter's room.

Meryl's medication had finally been lowered enough that she could have visitors and actually know they were there. She'd woken a few times with Roy by her side, asking incoherently for Snake. Campbell had simply taken her hand and soothed her back to sleep, firing questions at every doctor who wandered past her room about Meryl's recovery.

Roy had had plenty of time to think over this moment. He'd have to explain why Snake had left. He would have to face up to the fact that, no, he had not tried to stop him. In fact, he had encouraged the man she loved to abandon her without a word.

He should have felt worse, more guilty. Campbell knew Meryl would not understand why he had done what he had. As soon as she stopped fuming at Snake she would have only him to blame and unleash her wrath upon. Roy found himself thinking of her mother as he approached Meryl's door. He remembered the way his brother had looked at him when he'd visited his sister-in-law in the hospital after giving birth. There had been a silent understanding between them both, if only for a moment. Matt didn't know anything, but he suspected. Roy knew that would be the one and only time he would see his daughter freely. He wasn't welcome any more, but at least he had gotten away with his sins – to some extent.

Roy had quickly made peace with the knowledge that this time, he would not be so lucky.

The nurse held open the door for him and he pushed himself slowly into the room...

* * *

Epilogue:

Two months later.

_**Snake**._

England was almost always wet. It was also cold. Not the sort he was used to in Alaska, just simply miserable.

Since Snake had tracked down and teamed up with the scientist, Otacon had often tenderly suggested he seek help for his 'depression'. Snake had shrugged him off at first, but since biting at the man the last time he'd suggested he stop hitting the bottle, Otacon merely took to sniffing disapprovingly whenever the dreaded things were pulled from the fridge.

Currently, the two found themselves sat in the middle of a small, blue tiled kitchen; waiting for contact from Mei Ling.

"I'm really excited about this new VR technology she's created. I hope it's completely portable, with the rate we move around it'll be hard to disguise all that equipment."

"Hm"

"I mean, you need to keep busy. I've been trying to develop new simulations while you've been... taking a break. I expect you'll want to get back on the horse as soon as possible, right Snake?"

"Yeah. Right. Soon as possible."

Otacon sighed, pushing his glasses up his nose with one finger as he turned back to the laptop on the table. His foot tapped against the sticky lino floor until he grew so tired of the wretched atmosphere that he decided to brave Snake's wrath, just to end his solitary stoicism.

"I kind of miss her too, you know"

"Didn't think you and Mei Ling got that close" Snake replied evasively.

"Don't do that" Otacon almost snapped, "You know who I'm talking ab-"

Still blankly devoid of emotion, Snake said clearly, "I'm not having this conversation again, _Otacon_" and proceeded to stand and leave the cursed kitchen. Unfortunately, the tiny one bed-room flat the pair were staying in meant he could never be more then a few metres from his 'flatmate'. It drove him insane, silently of course. Snake had spent the last two months very carefully suppressing any and all emotions with a combined method of drink, sleep and silence. It worked, until Otacon forced conversation upon him. In the beginning a few 'hm's' and 'okay's' had been enough to keep the man happy. He mostly prattled about uninteresting computer babble or television rubbish. At one point Snake had even sat through an entire anime marathon while Otacon fiddled with his new laptop, only to be completely unable to tell Otacon what he thought of it since he had absolutely no memory of the past few hours.

And that was before the drink had taken hold.

Speaking of which, Snake was thirsty. He didn't need to look at Otacon to know the expression on his face as he returned to the kitchen, reached into the whirring fridge and grasped the cold glass. It wasn't until he'd downed half the bottle that he heard a strange noise behind him. Glancing over, he saw Otacon frowning at the computer screen.

"What's wrong?" he asked, actual concern in his voice for once. For some reason an array of scenarios ran through his mind: thoughts of a red-head being arrested, going missing, headlines: 'linked to wanted man'.

Otacon looked up, scratching his cheek idly. "Mei Ling's just sent me a file, looks pretty in-depth, may take a while to read through"

"What's it called?" Snake asked, barely interested now he knew they hadn't been sent word of... anything bad.

Otacon cleared his throat, adjusting the round-rimmed glasses just slightly.

"_Philanthropy: letting the world be_. I wonder why she sent us this?"

Snake shrugged, "Sounds like some of the philosophical bullshit she was spouting on Moses"

He noticed Otacon flinch at his words, knowing they were needlessly unkind. Feeling the slightest nudge of guilt, he sighed heavily and moved back to the table.

"Come on then, let's see what we've got here..."

_**Meryl**._

There was still a great deal of money left over from the Houseman fiasco. Enough to get Meryl out of Vegas, out of _America, _and away from her... uncle.

She'd known the moment she woke up and the nurse had handed her the piece of cloth that had been left for her by Mr Pliskin that the next few hours would be horrendous. Oddly, waiting for Roy to visit her had filled her with a dreaded anticipation worse then when she'd been driving into the middle of the desert two months ago. Words were painful. They could dig deep and fester in your mind when wounds could at least heal over. She had plenty of scars left over from the past few months, it was a constant battle to figure out which were worse; the ones on the inside, or the ones on the outside.

Meryl pushed away the memory of Roy wheeling himself forward, settling her with a look she'd seen on her father's... on Matthew Campbell's face a lot when she was young. "This is for your own good" it would say.

She'd had to be sedated, even in her injured and exhausted state, when Campbell told her the full, uncensored truth. She hadn't seen him since. Had refused his visits. As soon as she could she'd left the hospital without a word and made her way to the outskirts of Las Vegas.

The hotel room had been used a lot by the time she visited again, but it was available when she'd requested a one-night stay from the new staff member at the counter.

Meryl wasn't sure what had happened to the possessions left behind, but there was no trace of their stay in the room at all.

She wandered through the familiar main room, hesitating momentarily as reached the heavy white door that led to the bedroom... she pushed it open.

Memories could be powerful things.

_A hot hand running up her bare back to the hook of her bra, lips hurriedly exploring their way across her jaw line as she tried to keep breathing properly. The bed was too small, but neither of them had noticed as clothes were quickly strewn around the room..._

Not her first time. But her first time with _him_. Staying in a tiny hotel room on the run. It all felt so cliché now, no longer exciting. No longer... meaningful.

Still, Meryl found her legs buckling beneath her as a sob forced its way from her throat.

And that was when she noticed it. Jammed under the bed-frame was a black bag she knew she'd seen before. Not bothering to acknowledge the tears by wiping her eyes, Meryl reached forward and pulled it free, accidentally ripping open the side to create an escape route for the folds of greenish paper inside to slide through.

The bag was hers. She'd kept a smaller emergency bag on her with a few handfuls of the money sent by Roy stuffed inside just in case. She quickly counted the money, wondering just how much she'd been sent with so much left over now clutched in her hands.

Meryl had slept on the sofa that night, her mind abuzz with thoughts and plans. It had been this accidental discovery that had led her to where she was now, standing on a chilly street in Russia, watching the shape of a large man watch a group of five males. A little research into Hammersmith's background following the information she'd received from Campbell had led her here. She wasn't entirely sure why she'd followed the man who'd kidnapped her half-way across the planet. But she couldn't ignore the fact that he had saved her life.

She smiled to herself as she remembered Roy trying to tell her that she was better off now, she could live safely, _normally_.

They didn't know her at all if they thought she'd be satisfied with 'normal'.

* * *

Take my photo off the wall  
If it just won't sing for you  
'Cause all that's left has gone away  
And there's nothing there for you to prove

Oh, look what you've done  
You've made a fool of everyone  
Oh well, it seems likes such fun  
Until you lose what you had won

Give me back my point of view  
'Cause I just can't think for you  
I can hardly hear you say  
What should I do, well you choose

* * *

**END**

A/N: Bleedin'. Heck. I'm happier with the 'epilogues' then anything else to be honest. I'll admit this ending was difficult to get out, so sorry if anyone felt let down. I'm actually a fan of the anti-climax and the cliff-hanger (I'm sure you've guessed).

I need a little recovery time for personal reasons I think, my brain resembles mush right now. But what next huh? Let's see what I come up with in the wee hours of the morning when I can't sleep...

Disclaimer: I own no rights to Metal Gear etc, nor the lyrics, which are: Jet - Look what you've done.


End file.
